God woke me up this morning. There is a steady rain falling, and I had taken the back seat of my van out to deliver something, and there it was sitting on my driveway. He woke me up and said, "Gina, go get the seat." Of course I lay in bed for five more minutes trying to convince myself that it was already wet, so getting out of bed at 2:30 in the morning really was not necessary......I finally got up and not only did I move the seat, but I also did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, did laundry.....

This morning's experience pretty much sums up my life lately. I have prayed for many years. I went to 12 years Catholic school where we studied and recited daily. But I don't think I ever knew how to really pray. For the last few months, I have been attempting to learn how to pray. It feels ackward sometimes, but I am definitely getting the hang of it. It hasn't been till the last couple of weeks that I have felt like God is responding.  My biggest stuggle lately has been deciding whether or not to homeschool next year. This was our first year, and it really didn't go so great (too long a story for right now...).  A couple weeks ago, I went to an information meeting about a 'private homeschool' program. Basically, they teach for one day and send all the work home with you to complete all week. It sounded perfect!  I really thought this was the answer. No planning. No more stressing about what curriculum to use.......all the decisions were made for me.....PERFECT! Well, we got to the part where they would interview my son (whose in 1st grade) to see if he is "pure enough".......I sat the rest of the meeting going over how I was going to get my rock-n-roll husband to cut his hair and say the right answers for the interview and what music I was going to play for my son so he could tell them that "I listen to Bach at home".  Everyone was so nice! I really wanted it to work out, but by the time I was leaving, I knew that this was not for us. I was devistated!!  Is this the sign from God I was waiting for? Was this Him telling me to put the boys in public school next year?. I was driving home, and through my tears I prayed one more time. I said "God, I need to know what to do. If you have been sending me signs, I don't think I'm getting them. I need a CLEAR sign. Should I homeschool my boys next year? I will do whatever you tell me." I looked up, and I was passing a church that had a sign outside that read "Don't give up on yourself...God hasn't"  WOW! It is so over-whelming (in a good way) to feel like God is with you AT THIS VERY MOMENT. With everything else going on in the world, how does he have time for ME right now?????  Of course, I cried some more, but then a peace came over me. For a long time, I have felt that God was calling me to homeschool, but I kept pushing that aside to get to the practical answer. I don't know why, but now I know that God has laid it on my heart to homeschool my boys. It's not practical....it's God!