Feb. 29, 2008 - foster parenting stress...
I know that some foster families read my blog.....at least someone does:-) I had considered starting a blog for our foster parenting times, but now due to a stupid rule, after we have our Anna Joy, we can't be foster parents. Oh well, their loss, not mine (and I told them:p)
Anyway, I wanted to share a few things cause, I don't know where else to share them..........one of our girls was abused in a manner she shouldn't have been, by her uncle. She was placed in a half way house in 5th grade and placed in our home at 7th grade. Her uncle was sentenced sometime in her 11th grade year, and he appealed it all 3 times he can. The highest time you can get for the crime he committed was 10 years,he got 7 years.
This winter/Chinese New Year break, he showed up at her dad's house out in the country (they do have neighbors, it's a little village like thing), drunk and with a knife. Our 19yr old had to be in hiding from 3am til 7amish........I get told this after she gets back.
Her social worker told me that he has yet to do jail time. I don't know if they are waiting for an opening at jail or what. It might be a year later or more..........give me a break!! this all happened when she was in 4-5th grade, he was sentenced almost 2 years ago and no one knows when he will do his time!!! You know, and it's not the social workers that have to deal with all this stress........it is us, they just seem to ignore it or "whatever will be will be" attitude. The social worker did say that there are many cases like this out there in our county......ok, so that makes it better or something?
Oh, parents don't HAVE to attend any classes on stress/anger management and don't have to show any improvement really in their lifestyle in order to get children back..... but why in heaven's name do we have to have so many classes a year as foster parents? make sense?
All but 3 of our children were abused in someway or another, went to court to testify. NOT ONE OF THE ACCUSED HAS DONE JAIL TIME yet!!! no wonder they can't tell family where we live.....as most are drunks, they'd probably spill the beans where we live and we'd be in big trouble. I am seriously considering asking our legislature about this, this is just crazy..................
that's part of what we deal with here, the mentality. We don't have the restrictions and such that foster parents in the USA have. I am more vocal about things than the average Chinese person (who would believe right?!!) and have told them more than once, you can find someone else to take care of the kid then.
Funny though, our kids never want to leave, even when time is up. Our kids never give us the problems that other families have had and when they do leave, they eventually come back. Hence me being 34yr old and being called Grandma!!:P....but we are thankful that God has placed us in this ministry, which is only just beginning we feel, and have kids come to us for counsel and to share their tears and their joys. They sure don't go looking for their social worker!!
Comments
Feb. 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by baptistgrits
Hi my name is Kate. My family fosters too....we are dealing with something similar. we have a almost 2 year old hispanic girl we are fostering to adopt. she and her 2 sisters were both badly abused by their father. Their mother told the police she would keep the girls from him , but then she took the girls to his house, so that he could do it over and over. Her trial is this summer... and they say she may never go to prison. To me taking them to that man is just as bad as doing it and she should get the same punishment that he gets. I cant imagine how yall must feel but me and my family are praying for you and those kids. ~Kate
Mar. 3, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by bigredriver
Here too the kids are taken from their home when they are abused and nothing is done to the parent. It's a very unfair system. Keep doing the good work. You sometimes can only do the one thing, the one child in front of you.
