Feeling rather overwhelmed today...after procrastinating for too long everything seems to be biting me in the butt today....and maybe rightly so.
I've put off doing the invoices that should have been sent out last week, or even the week before...and then of course a cheque that I thought was already through the bank got cashed...sigh, overdrawn....
Feeling a little anxious about finances right now...maybe that's partly seasonal depression talking...although it could be lack of diabetic control as well, since high blood sugars result in depression as well...and goodness knows, they have been quite horrible lately....sigh
I'd love to be able to purchase the Minimed Paradigm REAL time insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring system...but $7400 is a little out of our range!!! Ok, Ok, ALOT out of our range!! And I can't seem to find medical coverage that covers midwives and insulin pump therapy!! Mind you I've only checked out 2 companies so far!! lol I just about laughed at one company who only cover one glucose testing machine every 4 yrs...whoopdeedo, go to Safeway and they GIVE you the machine when you buy 100 test strips! Which is about a months supply...sigh.
School was slowed right down, while we waited for a more indepth reading program to show up...it showed up today!! Yay, the highlight of my day! We'll start school again tomorrow! woo hoo! We're enjoying Story of the World as well...Silas just can't get enough of it! We're only on chapter 3!! hehe
Last week I saw my son for the first time as "special needs"...not high needs, but definitely not able to "fit in" during a group art class. Perhaps it was my own fault for allowing him to eat a bagel and regular milk for breakfast...you see, he has Asperger's (my diagnosis, not a dr.'s, but good enough for me!) it is mild enough that if he avoids certain foods, he is as normal as any 6yr old boy (not that I'd classify any 6 yr old boys normal, but you know what I mean!!). So that means he doesn't drink juice, pop or milk, doesn't eat dairy, sugar or anything with wheat, that is he is forced to avoid these foods if I want a child who behaves normally. If he DOES eat/drink these foods, it can be a very interesting day! He forgets what personal space is and invades mine constantly (more than my nursing 20 month old!!), talks nonstop (not even joking), flaps his arms in constant excitement (he's heard all the bird jokes out there!), and is easily frustrated (school goes completely out the window!)....Maybe I'm not pregnant yet because God sees how much time I need to invest in my beautiful firstborn son. I know God is so unbelievably wise. I can only guess why we only have 2 live children and 1 waiting in Heaven for us.
Lord, grant me wisdom as I continue to hs my son, I see now why you planted the desire to hs in my heart so early on in motherhood! It makes so much more sense now! Thank you! Lord, grant me patience as I continue to figure out asperger's syndrome, allow me to find the tools I need, if healing is not in Silas' future! Thank you Lord, for blessings me with these 2 children you've entrusted in my care! Let me see them the way YOU see them! Help me battle the opinion of society, that children are a nuisance....they are a blessing! How dare I let selfish thinking invade my life and make me think otherwise! I come against you satan, and all who follow you, in the name of Jesus of Nazareth! You have absolutely NO POWER over me, because I am a follow of Jesus Christ and His blood has washed me clean of the past, present and future.
" 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even the Lord, who is my refuge-- 10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation." Ps 91:9-13NIV
I wonder what exactly it means to "make the Most High your dwelling"??? This is The Message translation....
"9 Yes, because God's your refuge, the High God your very own home, 10 Evil can't get close to you, harm can't get through the door. 11 He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go. 12 If you stumble, they'll catch you; their job is to keep you from falling. 13 You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpents from the path. 14 "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "I'll get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know and trust me. 15 Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you, then throw you a party. 16 I'll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!"
Wow....why does it take me so long to remember why I got to this point of depression??!! Spend time with the Lord, Seek HIM, Call on HIM, Hold onto HIM for dear life!!!! Why is it so hard? Is it hard because I've become so selfish I don't want to share my alone time with Him?? How lame! Forget that! Maybe I need to put my Christian fictions away for awhile and pick up my Bible ALOT more!
Sometimes the Lord reveals wonderful things and sometimes kicks us in the arse! Blessed be the Name of the LORD!!!!
Isn't it funny how physical "things" can drain you? Right now I'm sitting at the computer when I SHOULD be doing some bookwork with Silas...but I'm procrastinating....he IS playing an educational game on his computer so it's not like he's watching tv or anything...sigh...I'm surrounded by books...schoolbooks, fiction books, nonfiction books...perhaps too many books are in my house...but I love them! I just need to somehow organize them, along with every other aspect of my life! I got a good start on organizing our shelves and putting everything in it's place...but somehow, 3/4 of the way through this project it came to an abrupt halt. I don't know why. Am I scared of actually completing something I've started? How silly, yet it feels that way! I want my house to be decluttered by Dec. 1st. I really had better get cracking...books first then the kids toys, the clothes are already done! yay!
Perhaps it's time to start taking vitamins again...especially D and B-complex, perhaps do my hormone balancing tincture again. I'd also like to do a cleanse, but have to wait until Shyla is done nursing. We are NOT going to mess with that!! lol
School is sort of at a stand still in the reading department...we needed to get something a little bit more indepth, so I'm ordering the paces that go with Reading with Ace and Christie. I think we'll both like it as it's a 12 week program where we need to follow a set curriculum. I think I really need the structure right now.
I had a chance to visit my parents on the long weekend. Such a wonderful visit! I attended a women's supper at my mom's church and was really blessed by the speaker. She spoke out beautiful words of prophesy over me, my children and husband. The Lord is good and I will enjoy seeing the prophesies come to pass! It's always fun with prophesy, you just never know when it's going to happen, so there's the anticipated waiting and praying!
Our Summer season landscaping is over now and we're eagerly awaiting some snow. God has been so good to us as we've struggled this summer running a company we bought. Old equipment, but wonderful clients! We replaced the main mower and are waiting to replace the truck and trailer, which are both falling apart and I seriously think they are still running only because of the grace of God!!
Thank you Lord, for your faithfulness and grace!
I don't know why I get so surprised when I'm with a group of Christian women and I'm the only one that has a problem with halloween...how can we be the salt of the earth or the light in the darkness if we're just blending in with what the world does?
I talked to my husband about this and I was so relieved to see that we think alike on this...we're both frustrated with trying to figure out what holidays are ok, as Christians, to celebrate and which ones to avoid...so far we've just gone with gut instinct. That's not working so much anymore, we need a reason to do what we do...so we are going to study the holidays that Jesus celebrated and celebrate THOSE holidays. Can't go wrong there!
Anyone else celebrate the Jewish holidays as opposed to the common worldly holidays?
Well, yesterday was officially our first day of school. But it was definitely a different kind of school that day! LOL
We cleaned up after breakfast and then took the car into the shop to get a new clutch put in....and took the LRT and bus back home. It was an hour and a half trip! We got to go through tunnels which was facinating for the kids. We saw the tops of a bunch of pine trees need the Jubilee Auditorium and saw tons of pinecones, which got us talking about why some trees have lots and others are evenly dispersed. Then a woman who used to go to our church sat across from us!! So we got chatting and I missed our stop!! We got off at her stop and then got back on to go to the right train stop and found our bus stop. Seeing as how we missed our train stop we had to wait an extra half hour for the next bus. All the while Silas and I were chatting and Shyla was wanting out of the mei tai by this time as an hour in a mei tai for any 17 month old is a little long! I really have to master that back carry thing!!!
We did a few more chores and then it was supper and bed. I DID watch the Nativity Story last night!! I enjoyed it.
Today was a much better day. We got started with our math, we're using the Power of Ten curriculum and he totally gets it!! It's very similar to Math U See. We'll be starting his phonics back up tomorrow as well as starting science.
Very relaxing and enjoyable!! We've been walking a lot more and running around at the park. It will be nice once swimming lessons start.
That's it for now!
God has shown His love to our family so much this year!! I'm enjoying it completely, yet a little freaked out that He might hide Himself from me at some point!
I can't say I've "felt" His tangible presence, but I've "seen" the evidence of His presence over our lives many times! So many times we've not known what to do, so we've sat back and simply prayed. God has been so faithful in answering our prayers! He arranged where we were to live back in February and so we moved and have felt blessed being here. We just found out that at the end of our lease next July we'll need to move again. It would be easy to start freaking out and feeling stressed that we'll need to move all over again...but why would I?? When the Lord has shown us over and over that He has better things in store for us, why should I now think He doesn't know what He's doing?!! How arrogant is that!
So I'm practising how to rest in Him. This doesn't come easy for me. I always feel like I should be "doing" something. Isn't it interesting that He asks us to take time to "rest" in Him, to do nothing but wait for Him to talk to us. Ps 5:3 "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. " and again in Ps 37 verse 7 says this " Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. " The whole chapter is really good but vs 7 and 34 specifically I love! I think I need a lot of practise in "being still" ! lol
So pretty neat, we got our new mower...a beautiful walker brand mower. My mom and dad in law decided to help us out and finance it. So that's an answer to prayer! Now we just need to work on a newer truck. We just had to put a ridiculous amount of money into the tires of a 1981 truck that won't even last as long as the tires!! ouch.
My feelings this cold August morning are this, "Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a beautiful feelin', everythings goin' my way". It's nice when "my way" matches up with "His way"!
Have a blessed day everyone!!
1. Post rules before we give you the facts.
2. Start with eight random facts/habits.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their 8 things and post these rules.
4. At the end of the blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names. Leave them a comment to tell them they are tagged.
_______________________________________________________
1. I was born in Saskatchewan, Canada
2. We run our own landscaping company
3. We LOVE swimming in outdoor water
4. I tend to refold towels if others have done it wrong....sigh they only fit in the cupboard one way!! lol
5. I met my husband at Bible College (Bridal College!)
6. I have traveled to Cuba and Bahamas
7. I have a tendancy to procrastinate
8. I hope to someday live near salt water
I am tagging the following friends:
Morninglight, Infojunkie, Joymommy, Ericaand3kids, Homesweethomeschooler, Mamato8, Simply me and my family, My first blogging adventure.
I fail to see why the Lord sometimes allows stress in our lives...sigh, it's like we're supposed to grow or something!! LOL
I'm so excited that Silas will be reading soon! He's got one very loose tooth and according to Dr. Dobson, that is a major indicator that your child is ready to begin reading....something to do with the chemicals that are released in the brain when the tooth gets loose...anyhow...it will happen soon!! We're taking most of the summer off, with some review of letter sounds and how to write them...gotta keep that knowledge fresh!
This is Jamie's really busy season...landscaping, and unfortunately, the equpment keeps breaking down and the weather has not cooperated one little bit...we both feel that since we're in the Lord's Will right now, maybe the enemy is trying to discourage us hugely....hmmm, he's doing a good job, however our Lord is stronger and mightier than anything the enemy can put against us, he's already lost the battle, why he continues to fight us is beyond me! We already have the victory!! Praise the Lord! I don't know where the new equipment is going to come from, but when the metal main frame of your ride on mower breaks due to metal fatigue, it's kind of a sign it should be replaced sooner than later!!! LOL
The Lord is GOOD!!! I can not say that enough! He has blessed us hugely and will continue to do so in the future.
I'm going to take the kids to Saskatchewan on holidays for two weeks...it's been a while since I"ve been home to see my mom and dad and siblings. I feel like I just need to get out of this city and relax for a bit and recharge....I feel like a single parent in the summer and winter, I need time to refocus on the Lord without the distractions of keeping a house clean and cooking meals....it's just totally different in someone elses house even if you DO still do those things....anyhow. that's that.
If there's anyone out there praying for us, it is hugely appreciated! Right now we need a Walker mower machine which is around $20, 000 (more than I'd pay for a car!!!) and a heavy duty truck....sigh, I'm hoping to find one second hand for around $10, 000....our current truck is an '81 and no one really knows why it's still running!!! lol heavenly fumes I say!!
That's our update! And look it's not even a month since the last update!!! hehe
Wow, So much for updating once a week, I couldn't even do it once a month!!
So much has happened since Feb! We received a phone call from our missionary friends/landlords on the 10th of March asking us to be out by March 15th and that they would give us half a months rent at the new place if we were able to do that. So because half a months rent was only $200 less than a full months rent where we already were, we jumped at that since it was obvious they were wanting us out real soon in order to get a few renos done before they sold the house...and our new landlords, friends from church said it was fine...they phoned us later the next day and said they wanted to bless us with half a months free rent!!! Oh wow! Talk about major blessings!!! March and April are our typical stressful months as it's in between the summer landscaping and winter landscaping jobs...
We've been continually blessed in the running of our new company as well! And because of the Lord showing His favor on us, we have come into a need of newer and larger equipment to accomodate the demand for Jamie's acreage lawncare services. This is especially intimidating as the equipment we need would mean buying a larger trailer as well. We also are in need of a new to us truck...right now we have a F350 recycle truck that dumps out the back and lifts stuff into the side....it's an '81 and is on it's last "legs" so to speak...lol we're having to fill it up every other day or so....that's about $200 a week in gas alone! So we're looking for a truck as well...a Heavy Duty duramax diesel....sigh It's insane to think that in our first year of business, we need about $50 000- $75 000 worth of equipment!!!! Yikes!
So that aside, I've been learning lots about running a small business. I've been doing the invoices and the books and it's quite fun actually!
I have been doing a Psalm 1 unit study with Silas this last month and I have really noticed a difference in his attitude on the days that we do it. I've also realized that as we approach his birthday month, he is more of a spirited child than I had thought...apparently they have major meltdowns in the months surrounding their birthdays and at the halfway mark as well....we are experiencing that heavily right now. Happy, happy, joy, joy!
I went to my very first homeschool support meeting this week! The last one of the year, but I loved it, they talked about various curriculums. I can not wait to get started planning our new school year! We're mostly unschooly, but "I" love planned curriculums! lol We're in the middle of registering with the ROOTS homeschool board(which is the support group I went to) and am so excited to be partnered with them!
Well, I guess that's it for now...oh yeah...I'm 30 now!!! sigh, guess it's time to grow up now...don't even wanna! So I probably won't, except in the important areas! lol
I'm REALLY wanting to start my days before everyone else again....I lapsed...badly! So has my laundry! The rest of the house is in pretty good shape but the bedrooms and the laundry just can't seem to stay caught up...too much clothes perhaps? Time to dejunk in a big way I guess...no I KNOW I need to, I just need to get brave enough!
That's it for real now...oops one more thing...Jamie has had many people phone him, stop him on the mower, flag him down...they want him to cut their acreages!! Jamie is at his max right now with the size mower he has...he's putting in 71 hours a week! No, I rarely see him and only talk to him on the phone during his 10 minute breaks! lol
We need to hire someone once we get more equipment, but it needs to be someone with the same work ethics as my husband! Which is very hard to come by....something to pray about that's for sure!
Ok......yup, I'm done!
Blessings!!!
I don't know why I'm surprised every time it happens...it happens often enough that I should almost expect it!!
During the last month of stress, the Lord has proven to be our provider! I'm getting more and more excited about moving to our new place! I'll be getting rid of a lot of clutter this time we move. I'm just done moving it all...
Silas has his first loose tooth! Yaay! Reading will happen this year for sure! This was usually the biggest indication that kids are ready to learn how to read according to my mom...she found this was incredibly accurate! And it helps that Silas is very much still a huge book worm and loves it when I read to him....we've been doing lots of read alouds lately...I wonder if The Little House on the Prairies would be too girly for him?....or should I save it for when Shyla is older? Any suggestions?
Must start taking some sort of inventory of what we need and what we can get rid of ..... Don't know how that's going to work as Jamie and I have very different opinions on what we need!! lol The first thing I'd turf is the TV!!!! He seems to think it would look good on top of the corner gas fire place...men! lol we'll see!!
Things are definitely looking up...the Glory School was phenomenal as usual!! This time Charlie Robinson and his son Samuel did the evening sessions which was really neat! Lots of dancing, flagging, and praising the Lord! Healing happened, a gem stone was found!
I love it when the Glory of the Lord appears !!!
And as silly as this sounds...I am now able to start trying to get pregnant again! lol last month I was frustrated about not getting my monthly flow back yet and wouldn't ya know it...it shows up the first night of the Glory School! haha, answer to prayer if you ask me!
I'm excited about the things the Lord is going to do in the near future. Stay tuned, as I will be reporting once a week...hopefully!
Blessings! Thanks to all who may have prayed for us!
Wow,
I seriously can not remember the last time I felt this stressed! I want to bury my head in the sand and wake up when it's all over! We're moving at the end of March...our rent will be $500 more than what we were paying, then the utilities will be a bit more too, due to the size of the house! This may sound like complaining, but it's not!!! I'm very excited to move to this new house! However, we were finally in a place where our rent was not making us housepoor....now we'll be paying lots more rent and back to being housepoor.
But it's neat, because despite the fact that I'm scared out of my tree about the dramatic increase in how much we'll be paying for rent...so far all other doors are closing! So I feel like the Lord is leading us to this one house....knowing that, I realize that He will also provide the extra finances we'll need to make rent and other bills. Sigh...
I will be happy when the move is over and done with...in the meantime I need to get busy getting a letterhead made, invoices made, business plan finalized, etc etc....so much to do...I think I will have to make a list so I don't get overwhelmed and go into shut down mode! At least then I can stroke things off the list!
Meanwhile, my darling daughter is crawling everywhere and lighting up the rooms she enters! Squeals with delight when her brother spends time with her! She's such a sweetheart! We'll be moving on her 1st birthday, which makes me a little sad. Maybe we can move a week earlier?!
I'm looking forward to having the space to entertain! We've never had that before! The Lord has blessed us so much this past year! Dreams are being fulfilled and more dreams are being realized!
I started writing this blog feeling quite scared and worried, but after putting my thoughts on "paper" I feel quite excited about our adventure!
The Lord is good and His mercies endure forever.
What a week! I feel like the enemy has me under attack physically this week...since Friday I've been tested for strep throat, confirmed eye infection and yeast infection and possibly have an ear infection...ok...I'm actually not feeling toooo bad, but now my 9 month old is sick with a cold and cannot be put down...
Then to beat all that, we got a phone call last night and our landlords, who are missionary friends of ours, have decided to sell their house this summer...I completely understand their decision, but it still sucks for us. This on top of the fact that this spring we start running our own landscaping company...yikes...thank goodness the Lord is in control!!
I feel VERY out of control right now, I want to get pregnant again but am still breastfeeding and it's pretty much out of my hands when I'm fertile again...I don't know what's going to happen with the company this year...I don't know where I'm going to be moving to, if at all...Again, thank goodness the Lord is in control!! My mom reminded me of a wonderful verse in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
On a happier note, I filled in my registration for the Glory School today and am mailing it away this week! I can't wait! I'm bringing my husband with me this time, so it will be nice when we're on the same page spiritually! It really helps to read the same books and go to the same conferences! Anyhow, very excited about it!
If you want more info on it check out my link to EXtreme Prophetic and you'll see the Glory School in Calgary on that website on the right side of the page....enjoy her site!
Tata for now!
I have to say, I'm quite enjoying my raw breakfasts!! I've been eating raw breakfasts for a week now and have noticed increased energy between that meal and lunch! After lunch I'm ready for a nap! lol I think the next step in organizing my life will have to be getting up at a resonable hour....setting my alarm clock instead of using Shyla as my alarm clock!! I think my bed is simply too comfortable...yes there IS such a thing!
Once I'm up before everyone else it will be much easier to start opening up the Bible and having alone time with God....I really can't rightfully call him my Lord right now...I've failed so much in putting Him "Lord" over my life, better late than never though!
Back to my breakfast smoothies...I like them simple, my favorite would have to be 4 kiwis, 1 banana, and 3 stalks of celery, thrown into the blender with enough water to make it drinkable. yummm
Today though, I had 3 pears, a handful of raspberries and a handful of mixed greens, pretty good as well.
I think that's it for now! I'm feeling rather good about my eating so far! I know it will help in my diabetic control as well! So double yay!
Blessings all!
Well, It is now time for new things! Yaaay! I was talking to my husband yesterday about how day to day failures really wear me down and how, just starting a new day over doesn't seem to be enough most of the time...I LOVE January and how it holds a promise of success! I've never really thought about it until this year...and I'm really excited about all the changes that are happening this year!
This year we start Silas in kindergarten (at home of course), my husband owns his own business this year, Shyla will be one and is still full of new experiences, and my goal is to be 80% raw vegan by the end of the year.
So those are the BIG changes...smaller things I want to do that would encourage change for me include all of the following but in no particular order of importance: study various passages of the Bible that encourage women in how they should act in Prov 31 and Titus, bring my husband to a Glory School by Patricia King, create a schedual that works for our family, get my house to a point of being clean that I'm not embarressed about and keep it that way via the schedual!! lol To keep my heart pure before the Lord and let HIM change me according to HIS will and not my own....I have this vision of the woman I want to be, but I don't know how realistic it is, so I'm in the process of letting go of that expectation and giving my visions and dreams to God. Because with HIM ALL things are possible!! Praise the LORD!!!!!
Some thoughts I had before Christmas...
I need to start living...lately I've realized that I've been merely passing time, getting by, just surviving. Not getting out of bed until absolutely necessary, not regularly homeschooling (thank goodness he's only 5!), not cleaning my house unless I'm expecting company..etc.
What kind of example am I showing my kids??? It makes me sick when I think of it that way!! I'm finally sick and tired of this lazy attitude! I'm sure my husband is too! Amazing enough he hasn't complained! But instead has pitched in....alot!
Soooo, I have lots of things I want to do for a "new years resolution", BUT my main focus this year is going to be my heart attitude....to live life on purpose and whatever I put my hand to, to do it for my Lord and not for the recognition of my family.
I think once I tackle my own attitudes, everything else I want to do better will fall into place! I get so excited just thinking about it! If I live life on purpose, I will be getting up in the morning before everyone else so that I can focus my day on God, which will help my attitude for the day ahead. Maybe I won't bite my son's head off for talking during breakfast!! sigh...then because I've been up for awhile, I'll be gung ho to tidy the kitchen before tackling some laundry, and I'll be better equipped to homeschool because I actually have room to get out a book or two and perhaps even a table will be clear of clutter so that Silas can write a bit!!!
Yes this is the sad state of affairs in my house right now...thank goodness, God doesn't give up on us, He is patient with us, loves us regardless of our many screwups...Thank you Lord!!!
Well,
Time to get started and join the ranks of Bloggers!
I think my entries are going to be more encouraging to myself than anyone else, and right now that's all that matters!
Lord as I begin to take hold of this homeschooling journey, please guide me and prune me and help me to see, what You've seen all along when You created me.
And that is as poetic as I get....and that's after reading Dr. Seuss books!!
As I start this blog, Silas is 5 and Shyla will be 8 months old this month.
We are very unschooly right now and love learning things spontaneously in the lessons that life presents to us.
After visiting some close friends and hearing the pain they are experiencing in their marriage right now, I cannot help but be thankful for such a wonderful husband that I have!
He supports me, encourages me and shows me he loves me in so many ways. I always feel like he's getting the short end of the stick in our marriage. I need to think of ways to change that, maybe it's time to re-read "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie O'Martian and while I'm at it, I still haven't gotten through "Power of a Praying Parent"....I think my emphasis right now in my life needs to be on prayer and setting aside time EVERY DAY for my Lord. I've neglected our relationship way too long. Time to stop "going through the motions" and get excited about who I am in Christ.
Once this is right, I know things around here will fall into place and be harmonious!