Posted in My Ramblings
JESUS IS COMING SOON! MARANATHA LORD!
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Hi friends, if you need to silence the music just hit the play/pause button on the player in the right sidebar, just below the black horse and the copyright notice.
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Okay, perhaps my attitude is wrong. Perhaps I am being over sensitive and touchy. Perhaps my concerns about my son's educational difficulties and delays have left me defensive when I hear people criticize him. Perhaps I am suffering from the "mother bear" syndrome. I don't know, if I am than I guess need to work on that.
Last night at Church, while we worshiped in song before Bible Study, I was rather pleased that for most of the singing, my son and daughter were sitting quietly, not fighting, not making noise, not poking at me incessantly.
After Bible Study a woman approached me. She didn't use a lot of tact when she said, "Vicki, you know your son is so distracting." I asked what he was doing and she said that he kept looking over his shoulder at her and making faces. My son has facial tics that he has no control over, so I wanted to find out if that had been what was going on, or if he had been doing things like sticking his tongue out at her or something like that. I asked her what kind of faces he was making, and she seemed irritated by the question. I persisted and said, what I mean is, was he making real silly faces or was he doing something like this? (I imitated his tic). She said, "Oh like that." I informed her he had a facial tic.
Now last night when this happened, I wasn't too upset. I was too busy thinking about another problem in my life that I wanted to talk to the pastor about. But later on the conversation came back into my thoughts... and I started to wonder what HER problem was. Okay, now I realize she had no way of knowing that my son had a tic, but the question that went through my head was, "So what even if he had been doing that on purpose? It wasn't a rude gesture, it didn't harm her in any way. And besides, he is a CHILD... children often do things silly, not to be rude, but just because they are kids. Couldn't she have just looked at the lyrics on the overhead and ignored him?"
Knowing my son, I can imagine what happened, he looked over his shoulder once, and the tic happened. The woman returned a disapproving look, then my son, wondering what he did wrong, continued to look back at her on and off, trying to figure out what he did wrong. She, wondering why he was looking at her still and making faces, continued with the looks of disapproval, and the cycle ensued for the rest of the worship time. Maybe she just doesn't have much experience with kids, because even if my son HAD been doing this on purpose, most of the time if adults just ignore something like that, the child stops.
As I type this I realize that she was not trying to offend in any way. And I am not as angry as before. It just gets frustrating. When my son still wasn't potty trained or speaking at almost four years old, there wasn't an appropriate place for him at church. The teachers of the toddler class said he was too big, and the teachers of the preschool class said he couldn't be in their class unless he was potty trained. The pastor we had at that time frowned on children in the adult portion of the service. I explained that my son had dyspraxia, and that because of that he wasn't able to be potty trained yet, and that was also the cause of his speech delay. I was still met with the same scenario, the toddler teacher saying he was too big, and the other one saying kids had to be potty trained to be in that class. So I was left to wonder what to do with my son. I stopped going to church regularly, and when I came back I brought my son to the preschool class and told the teacher (again) that he had a physically handicapping condition and that this was the class he belonged in. I told her he had a pull-up on, and that if he needed changing she didn't need to do it, she could come and get me. Then, without waiting for a response I walked away, leaving him in her class. No one ever brought it up again, and shortly after that my son finally figured out the potty training thing.
Later, when my son finally started talking, I fielded constant comments about how difficult he was to understand, but he was doing his best and so was I. I had him in speech therapy, I had him in special needs preschool. I was doing everything I could, and he was trying so hard for every little bit of progress.
Even now, my son faces humiliation in Sunday School class because he struggles to read, but the Sunday School teacher he has when I am not teaching insists that every child take a turn reading out loud. Between his auditory processing disorder and the fact that his eyes don't work together, but insist on focusing on two different points in space, my son always reads slowly and laboriously. I don't understand why Sunday School should become a time for his differences to be highlighted. I've told the teacher in question about his disabilities, and yet he still keeps his "every child takes a turn reading" policy. What would he do if my son were blind? Or mute? Why is so hard for him to understand that auditory processing disorder, dyspraxia, and dyslexia are every bit as much of a disability as those other conditions?
Okay, so I'm a mother bear who is fed up with her "cub" being teased by other kids, and criticized by adults. Who is fed up with a world that can't seem to accept him as he is, and appreciate the immense amount effort he extends for every developmental step he takes. He tries four or five times harder than everyone else, just to produce average results. It would just be nice for once, to see someone besides mom recognize his efforts and his sweet, gentle personality.
Last night at Church, while we worshiped in song before Bible Study, I was rather pleased that for most of the singing, my son and daughter were sitting quietly, not fighting, not making noise, not poking at me incessantly.
After Bible Study a woman approached me. She didn't use a lot of tact when she said, "Vicki, you know your son is so distracting." I asked what he was doing and she said that he kept looking over his shoulder at her and making faces. My son has facial tics that he has no control over, so I wanted to find out if that had been what was going on, or if he had been doing things like sticking his tongue out at her or something like that. I asked her what kind of faces he was making, and she seemed irritated by the question. I persisted and said, what I mean is, was he making real silly faces or was he doing something like this? (I imitated his tic). She said, "Oh like that." I informed her he had a facial tic.
Now last night when this happened, I wasn't too upset. I was too busy thinking about another problem in my life that I wanted to talk to the pastor about. But later on the conversation came back into my thoughts... and I started to wonder what HER problem was. Okay, now I realize she had no way of knowing that my son had a tic, but the question that went through my head was, "So what even if he had been doing that on purpose? It wasn't a rude gesture, it didn't harm her in any way. And besides, he is a CHILD... children often do things silly, not to be rude, but just because they are kids. Couldn't she have just looked at the lyrics on the overhead and ignored him?"
Knowing my son, I can imagine what happened, he looked over his shoulder once, and the tic happened. The woman returned a disapproving look, then my son, wondering what he did wrong, continued to look back at her on and off, trying to figure out what he did wrong. She, wondering why he was looking at her still and making faces, continued with the looks of disapproval, and the cycle ensued for the rest of the worship time. Maybe she just doesn't have much experience with kids, because even if my son HAD been doing this on purpose, most of the time if adults just ignore something like that, the child stops.
As I type this I realize that she was not trying to offend in any way. And I am not as angry as before. It just gets frustrating. When my son still wasn't potty trained or speaking at almost four years old, there wasn't an appropriate place for him at church. The teachers of the toddler class said he was too big, and the teachers of the preschool class said he couldn't be in their class unless he was potty trained. The pastor we had at that time frowned on children in the adult portion of the service. I explained that my son had dyspraxia, and that because of that he wasn't able to be potty trained yet, and that was also the cause of his speech delay. I was still met with the same scenario, the toddler teacher saying he was too big, and the other one saying kids had to be potty trained to be in that class. So I was left to wonder what to do with my son. I stopped going to church regularly, and when I came back I brought my son to the preschool class and told the teacher (again) that he had a physically handicapping condition and that this was the class he belonged in. I told her he had a pull-up on, and that if he needed changing she didn't need to do it, she could come and get me. Then, without waiting for a response I walked away, leaving him in her class. No one ever brought it up again, and shortly after that my son finally figured out the potty training thing.
Later, when my son finally started talking, I fielded constant comments about how difficult he was to understand, but he was doing his best and so was I. I had him in speech therapy, I had him in special needs preschool. I was doing everything I could, and he was trying so hard for every little bit of progress.
Even now, my son faces humiliation in Sunday School class because he struggles to read, but the Sunday School teacher he has when I am not teaching insists that every child take a turn reading out loud. Between his auditory processing disorder and the fact that his eyes don't work together, but insist on focusing on two different points in space, my son always reads slowly and laboriously. I don't understand why Sunday School should become a time for his differences to be highlighted. I've told the teacher in question about his disabilities, and yet he still keeps his "every child takes a turn reading" policy. What would he do if my son were blind? Or mute? Why is so hard for him to understand that auditory processing disorder, dyspraxia, and dyslexia are every bit as much of a disability as those other conditions?
Okay, so I'm a mother bear who is fed up with her "cub" being teased by other kids, and criticized by adults. Who is fed up with a world that can't seem to accept him as he is, and appreciate the immense amount effort he extends for every developmental step he takes. He tries four or five times harder than everyone else, just to produce average results. It would just be nice for once, to see someone besides mom recognize his efforts and his sweet, gentle personality.
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