Making decisions is hard.  When you do, you own it, and the responsibility rests upon your shoulders.  How you reach decisions often reflects on your style of leadership and personality, deriving from your unique gifts and talents.

Susurrus is that quiet little murmur you hear that can taunt you into inaction, or, conversely, make you foolishly leap forward without full consideration of the consequences.  What to do with that quiet, nagging whisper?  Can you trust it?  Where does it come from?  Is it a prompting of the Holy Spirit, or something else?

Is it a small disquieting feeling that you alternately dismiss and secretly examine in the quiet moments of darkness?  Does it sometimes grow into a full-fledged worry that you are then seeking counsel on from trusted friends?  Or does it linger, unspoken, accusing you when you are less hopeful and filled with doubt?  Is it a nagging, gnawing feeling that things need to change but you lack the courage to leap forward into the unknown with faith and instead cling to the familiar?

These doubts can paralyze and continually goad us into inaction.  At what point do we trust that we should go forward with the plan of action and pursue the course?  What things need to be in place before we can commit to it?  What will happen if setbacks occur early on?  What might cause us to return to the former position?

Support Group Leaders are struggling with these questions as they pertain to membership in their groups.  They wonder and worry about if, and/or how, to restrict homeschoolers from associating with them as official members of the group when there are such deep divisions on certain points.  Sometimes it’s not a matter of who is right or who is wrong; sometimes it is simply a matter of style or choice in manner of homeschooling.  Sometimes the divisions are deep and rooted in worldview and how we define ourselves.

So how do we turn from susurrus to courage in moving forward to tackle the issue at hand?  First you need to be convinced of your purpose and your position.  If you are ambiguous, others will see that and use that weakness as a point to undermine your decision.  Secondly, you need to prepare to defend your position.  We highly suggest you write out your reasons for your decision.  This will help you see the strength of your position.  You need to consider the opposing view and see its advantages and weaknesses so that you are completely familiar with the issue at hand and can defend your position and refute the opposing position.  This needs to be done with grace and humility.  We don’t give others an opportunity to consider our position if we are insulting, sarcastic or egotistical, because then they focus on your tactic rather than the message you’re trying to convey.  Respect should be displayed by all parties involved, even if you don’t agree on a particular issue because you may find that on many other issues you can agree and you may be able to find another strong advocate in those areas.  Sometimes you cannot convince the other party and there comes a time when you know you are dealing with an obdurate spirit and you need to use your time doing other things rather than try to persuade someone whose mind is closed to considering your point of view.

While we do not advocate leaping ahead without thoughtful consideration, we also strongly advocate not avoiding the problem.   Indecision and lack of leadership on an important issue leads to destructive avoidance behaviors and makes the problem tougher to tackle in the future.

We are praying for you as leaders and as you make these decisions for your group.

Mike and Paula

(c) Copyright August 2009 by Mike and Paula Anderson

All rights reserved, please contact them at paula{at}chec{dot}org for reprint permission.

Depending on where you sit politically, certain things about American history can be viewed differently. Take for instance the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798. The laws were intended to halt treason while the nation was under threat from war with France. (Yes, those people who had helped America gain her freedom from Great Britain were now saber-rattling against us.)

The United States was a mere 13 years old and had endured a healthy dose of discussion over the contents of the United States Constitution. The two factions were known as the Federalists and Anti-Federalists and their main contention had to do with wording in the Constitution that dealt with the power of the federal government verses the power of the individual states. America was an experiment in republican collectivism, and the concern was that the federal government would overstep its authority and consume the states’ rights. (This particular argument was settled for all intents and purposes with the American Civil War where states rights were trampled by the massive federal government.)

The Constitution was ratified in 1789 with language meant to protect states rights in Amendments 9 and 10 of the Bill of Rights. A meager nine years later, the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798 were used to tamp down opposition to the federal government, giving credence to the Anti-Federalists’ concerns. This is one reason why there was such animosity between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. These men, both who ardently fought for the formation of the United States of America, had very different ideas about how that new nation would govern. You see, depending on your point of view, things can look very different. (We exercise our right to vote every four years hopefully as an expression of our point of view and how this nation should be governed.)

As homeschoolers, we often encounter how important your point of view is particularly as it relates to education and our children. Each of us has a point of view about what is important and how it gets implemented in our individual homeschools. Our point of view also has implications in our support groups, as the philosophy of groups differ in how they offer support. As groups, how do we support one another? Shall we have open membership or not? What will be the purpose of our meetings, and what will the meetings be like? There are a myriad of questions that need to be addressed when we decide what flavor our groups will be.

The pertinent question is what influences your point of view? Other questions to consider might be: How do you strengthen your point of view and remain focused on its merits? Is there an appropriate time to alter your point of view?

As homeschoolers, we have stepped outside the “norm” of our society and have essentially revolted against the establishment, much as our American revolutionaries did in breaking away from the British. And now, there are differing points of view about the future of this movement and how it will be implemented, much as the Federalists and Anti-Federalists discussed in the later part of the 18^th century.

So what will influence your point of view on this matter? What will strengthen it and promote its merits? What might alter it?

After 25 years of offering a conference meant to encourage homeschoolers of many stripes, and serving the homeschool community in a variety of ways such as Introductory Seminars, High School and Beyond Seminars, the Apprenticeship/Mentorship/Entrepreneurialship endeavor, as well as many other events meant to encourage homeschool families, we pray that CHEC has been a part of promoting the merits of homeschooling for you and your groups.

Mike and Paula

Philemon 1:4, 25

Copyright July 2009, all rights reserved

Contact Paula {at} chec {dot} org for reprint permission

 Do you ever feel as if you walk around with a target on your back? Can you withstand one more hit? You know that saying, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle?” Do you ever just want to say, “I wish you didn’t have such a high opinion of me, Lord?” This has been a rough year for us. Paula’s dad died at the end of July. Paula’s been dealing with significant health issues since September. Mike was laid off in April. This isn’t our only year that has been riddled with challenges that have surprised and stretched us. We’ve certainly seen our fair share of hardship, loss and pain. (James 1:1-6)

Good thing the Lord brings us up with encouragement from His Word, by working through others to cheer us and by surrounding us with His providential care in all the blessings He shares with us, both those we recognize and those we take for granted. (Romans 15:4, Hebrews 6:8, Philippians 2:1-3, 1 John 4:19, Romans 5:8)

For some reason the high school years loom as the big bad boogey man in many a homeschoolers’ nightmares. Fear of not being able to give their child the education necessary to have a fruitful life as an adult feeds the doubt that homeschool parents can provide all that the child needs.

It’s easy to understand when people are battling with doubts how they can lose focus and try out the myriad of programs that now proliferate and masquerade as homeschooling. It bothers us when they prey upon your fears and doubts that you cannot effectively and successfully homeschool through high school. They tell you that you cannot do this without some program such as theirs.

We want to encourage you that you can homeschool your child through high school. We want to make you aware of the multiple families who have done just that. (1) (2)

We hope you understand that these entities are after you as surely as if there is a target on your back. Homeschoolers are a hot commodity. The proliferation of homeschool products and services are enough to make even a seasoned homeschooler feel overwhelmed at the choices available. Unfortunately, when these entities take up more than 49% of your time you are in jeopardy of stepping outside the Colorado homeschool law. HSLDA and local lawyers have relied upon interpretations of the homeschool law that require parents to conduct 51% of the core classes in their individual homeschool.

Are we advocating that you educate your child exclusively without using outside entities or people? No way! Music teachers and co-ops have been immeasurably helpful to us and to many homeschool families that we know. We want to make you aware, as leaders, that there is a line and limit to the law.

We want to share with you our happiness in graduating our second child this June. Her journey through homeschooling was different from her older sister’s. But that’s part of the exceeding joy and freedom we have as homeschoolers. We were able to tailor their education to meet their individual needs and talents. We did so by the grace of God, and with encouragement from our friends and support group. We did so by praying through the hard times and the stress-free times as well. It wasn’t always easy. There were times of doubt and uncertainty. Fortunately, God was always there to pick us up and point our eyes toward the reason He called us to homeschool in the first place: to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Our goal hasn’t been to raise the smartest or best, but to raise them to be in the world and not of it.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)  So, while you live a while longer as strangers and pilgrims on this earth, you will have no horizontal peace with the troubles, trials and tribulations of this world. But Christ has overcome the world for you, and gives you His everlasting, heavenly peace in His Word.” (3)

Abiding in His gracious peace, love and mercy,

Mike and Paula

(1) Dr. Brian Ray’s research projects that there were 250,000 to 340,000 homeschooled high school students in 2001 in the United States of America. If you take one quarter of that number as those who graduate from their homeschools, then in the last eight years that’s approximately 500,000 (half a million) students. This does not include his projected 7-8% yearly increase in the number of homeschool students.  http://www.hslda.org/research/faq.asp#1 and http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2004/2004115.pdf.

(2) CHEC’s Homeschool High School/Prepare for Life/High School and Beyond seminars have served hundreds of families in the last 6 years and CHEC consistently receives feedback that the seminars have encouraged families to continue homeschooling through high school and shown them that they can do it! (2 Timothy 4:7)

(3) http://higherthings.org/reflections/easter2009/2009-05-17.html

 (Copyright 2009, all rights reserved)

Encouragement is the inspiration that gives us hope.

Let’s first examine what erodes our encouragement, inspiration and hope. Your answers may be different from ours, but here are some that we have found.

Not taking care of ourselves, not only in bodily needs, but also taking time to allow our hearts and minds to be recharged and enlarged. How much better our attitudes are when we are well rested, fed and have had a chance to ponder the things that we hold deep in our hearts. Are you taking care of yourself?

We all have stress from various sources in our lives. How we choose to handle that stress makes the difference between a small problem or a larger one. How are you handling that stress in your life? Or is it handling you?

It’s human nature to compare, ourselves, our children, and our families. There is always going to be someone better or worse than you. Learning to borrow good ideas and not trying to adopt another’s lifestyle or philosophy will help you to remain content in your circumstances. We highly recommend writing out your family’s “homeschooling statement of purpose”. This written document will allow you to focus on the basic reasons that you are doing all this in the first place. It can be changed as your circumstances change. What are you comparing?

We all experience confusion, doubt and uncertainty from time to time. Again, like the stress, it’s something that we can choose to handle or we can let it handle us. Remember that the author of confusion is Satan. That doesn’t mean that we, as sinful human beings, aren’t sometimes lured into that vicious circle of doubt. But so long as we don’t wallow in it, or continually visit that cesspool, trusting to God to lift us out from it, this should just be a minor distraction diverting us for a short time from our hope. Are you clinging to the doubt, or to the hope?

Unresolved conflict eats away at our peaceful spirit. You cannot find continuing inspiration and hope if you don’t work to resolve that conflict in your life. What are you doing to resolve that conflict in your life?

Work to eliminate the activities of little or no benefit that steal away your time and energy. Having that homeschooling statement of purpose really helps you determine what you can and should eliminate from your schedules. What can you do to eliminate those time robbers?

So these things can erode our inspiration and hope. We’d like to suggest to you that you spend some time with the book of James. It’s only five chapters long and speaks to us of profiting from our trials, having our faith push us into being “doers of the Word” (James 1:22), taming our tongues (especially teachers in James Chapter 3), learning and practicing humility, patience and prayer.

What builds up your hope and inspiration? We all know that God is the source of all inspiration. He can use whatever means He chooses to touch our hearts. Every good and perfect thing is from God.

So – some practical suggestions when you are having a “terrible, no good, rotten day” and you can’t see the end of the tunnel.

Take a break. Break your myopic momentary view, and look at the big picture. Take a walk. Make a cup of tea. Take a shower. Call your spouse. Shoot some hoops. Sing. Eat some chocolate. Whistle. Do the devotion you skipped this morning. Play any game with the kids. See who can make the strangest face. Be silly! Laugh. Cry. Write a letter. Attend a conference.

Call a friend – someone who won’t condemn you for your temporary feelings but will encourage you back to the eternal things that matter. Jesus is always available to us. But remember also, that God works through other humans to provide that inspiration to us that encourages us and gives us hope.

Our loving Father surrounds us with exactly what we need when we need it. Believing that is an act of faith. Acting on that faith is a means of expressing our sanctification in our vocation, that of being a spouse, parent, homeschool teacher, a support group leader, and helping others along that same journey.

 Abiding in His gracious peace, love and mercy,

Mike and Paula

We’ve been privileged in these last few years in our position as CHEC’s Support Group Leader Liaison to speak with many different leaders around Colorado and some beyond the borders of our state.

Without a doubt, the most pressing concern is how to get and retain good volunteers so that our groups function well.  Most other service type groups suffer from this same complaint.

The second most pressing concern deals with the different ways to homeschool and how we include or exclude folks who don’t fit into the category of Christian homeschooling.  Many Christian groups desire to be an outreach to homeschoolers and open membership to those legally homeschooling, however they reserve leadership positions for fellow Christians.  Other groups choose to limit membership to only like-minded Christians, or those who are like-minded in method of teaching (such as Charlotte Mason, Classical, Principle Approach, etc.)

Homeschooling has grown so much that we can now have groups that represent different priorities, styles of teaching and philosophies, and that is a good indication of the maturation of the movement.

One of the “types” of homeschoolers that are often excluded are those who chose to do COVA-type programs at home.  Those who chose this method are technically under the auspices of the public school system and not homeschooling; however the impression they have and many out in the world have is that they are homeschooling because instruction is taking place in the home.  They have a fragrance of what homeschooling is like, but they are not in charge and in control of the learning program, and so the full aroma of the freedom of homeschooling eludes them.  Excluding them from Christian homeschool support groups causes consternation because they believe they are homeschooling, even though they are not.

The movie Braveheart starring Mel Gibson portrays a strong man who is devoted to his conviction of freedom from the English throne.  There are many historical inaccuracies in the movie, even when you consider that artistic license was used to create a more compelling story.  Unfortunately, not just with Braveheart, but with many cinematic offerings, the general public does not know differently so their knowledge of historical figures and events is completely influenced by the movies they watch.  This philosophy holds true for homeschooling as well.  The mainstream media’s biased reporting of events has been accused of influencing this past election.  People’s perceptions are shaped by language and behaviors that are familiar to them and come from trusted sources.  Studying and discovering that their perceptions may be wrong are pursuits that people don’t have the time to indulge in, so they are left with the powerful images and words before them.  All these examples show us that we must be vigilant in our words and deeds in presenting the truth so that we do not lose the battle of perception.

As leaders, we need to be certain what our convictions are, implement them in our groups and then lead by example not only in our groups, but also in our lives.  Imitation, although the sincerest form of flattery, is still not the real thing.

Abiding in His gracious peace, love and mercy,

Mike and Paula

Psalm 100:5  For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.

 (Copyright 2009, all rights reserved)