Making decisions is hard.  When you do, you own it, and the responsibility rests upon your shoulders.  How you reach decisions often reflects on your style of leadership and personality, deriving from your unique gifts and talents.

Susurrus is that quiet little murmur you hear that can taunt you into inaction, or, conversely, make you foolishly leap forward without full consideration of the consequences.  What to do with that quiet, nagging whisper?  Can you trust it?  Where does it come from?  Is it a prompting of the Holy Spirit, or something else?

Is it a small disquieting feeling that you alternately dismiss and secretly examine in the quiet moments of darkness?  Does it sometimes grow into a full-fledged worry that you are then seeking counsel on from trusted friends?  Or does it linger, unspoken, accusing you when you are less hopeful and filled with doubt?  Is it a nagging, gnawing feeling that things need to change but you lack the courage to leap forward into the unknown with faith and instead cling to the familiar?

These doubts can paralyze and continually goad us into inaction.  At what point do we trust that we should go forward with the plan of action and pursue the course?  What things need to be in place before we can commit to it?  What will happen if setbacks occur early on?  What might cause us to return to the former position?

Support Group Leaders are struggling with these questions as they pertain to membership in their groups.  They wonder and worry about if, and/or how, to restrict homeschoolers from associating with them as official members of the group when there are such deep divisions on certain points.  Sometimes it’s not a matter of who is right or who is wrong; sometimes it is simply a matter of style or choice in manner of homeschooling.  Sometimes the divisions are deep and rooted in worldview and how we define ourselves.

So how do we turn from susurrus to courage in moving forward to tackle the issue at hand?  First you need to be convinced of your purpose and your position.  If you are ambiguous, others will see that and use that weakness as a point to undermine your decision.  Secondly, you need to prepare to defend your position.  We highly suggest you write out your reasons for your decision.  This will help you see the strength of your position.  You need to consider the opposing view and see its advantages and weaknesses so that you are completely familiar with the issue at hand and can defend your position and refute the opposing position.  This needs to be done with grace and humility.  We don’t give others an opportunity to consider our position if we are insulting, sarcastic or egotistical, because then they focus on your tactic rather than the message you’re trying to convey.  Respect should be displayed by all parties involved, even if you don’t agree on a particular issue because you may find that on many other issues you can agree and you may be able to find another strong advocate in those areas.  Sometimes you cannot convince the other party and there comes a time when you know you are dealing with an obdurate spirit and you need to use your time doing other things rather than try to persuade someone whose mind is closed to considering your point of view.

While we do not advocate leaping ahead without thoughtful consideration, we also strongly advocate not avoiding the problem.   Indecision and lack of leadership on an important issue leads to destructive avoidance behaviors and makes the problem tougher to tackle in the future.

We are praying for you as leaders and as you make these decisions for your group.

Mike and Paula

(c) Copyright August 2009 by Mike and Paula Anderson

All rights reserved, please contact them at paula{at}chec{dot}org for reprint permission.