“Well, that was a great meeting!! We’ll have to come back next week!” Superhero decided, as she watched everyone else leave the train station.

“Hey! What ever happened to Pancake and The Black Stallion and Mike the sea turtle and the three other groomsmen?” Fondue suddenly asked. “We never went back to get them!”

“Good point! We should go right now!” Princess Odette said.

“I’ve got a great idea!! We can take Orange Juice with us, so he can tell us about the TIMS club plan on the way!” Fondue said. They went to find Orange Juice, then Fondue, Princess Odette, Superhero, Orange Juice, Torch, and Rock Mountain Jr. all jumped into Fondue’s car. On the way, Orange Juice explained a bit of their plan.

“We-the TIMS club-all think that it’s our responsibility to do whatever we can in the world. So, we’ve decided to create a giant massive red skittle! It’s taking a rather long time though. We’ve been working on it for 14 years, and it’s still not done.” Orange Juice explained.

“Why not? It shouldn’t take 14 years to make one skittle, even if it is a huge one!” Superhero pointed out.

“I know that, but our two head cooks only have a grade one reading level.” Orange Juice told her.

“Really? Then why don’t you fire them and get a new cook?” Fondue asked.

“We did have a unanimous vote that we should find a new cook--even the old cooks thought it was a good idea--but I don’t know anybody else who can cook.” Orange Juice told her.

“I can cook! If you want, I could take over.” Princess Odette said.

“Really? That would be great! But it is a pretty big job. You would need someone else to help you.” Orange Juice told her.

“What about Pancake? She probably wouldn’t mind helping.” Princess Odette said.

“That’s a great idea!” Superhero said. “The two of you can be the new head cooks, to make the Important Massive Skittle!”

A few minutes later, they stopped in front of the post office, to see Pancake, The Black Stallion, Mike the Sea Turtle, and the three other groomsmen (Brother 1, Brother 2, and Brother 3) all standing in a round flower bed full of smashed tulips.

“Hey! You guys had a tulip-smashing party without us?!?” Fondue asked.

“Sorry! We didn’t know how long you were planning to be, so we thought we would go ahead and start without you.” The Black Stallion said. “How did it go? Where’s Donkey? Didn’t you find him?”

“Oh, yes, we found him, but then we decided to let him go. We don’t have time for a wedding anymore! We have all joined the TIMS club!” Superhero explained.

“What?!? After all that work, we’re not having a wedding?!?” The Black Stallion asked.

“No! Weren’t you listening? We are now part of the TIMS club!” Fondue told her.

“Oh…would it be okay if I didn’t join you? The probability of me enjoying being a TIMS club member is pretty small. But, I think now would be a perfect time for me to go turn into a pirate! I’ve always wanted to be a pirate!” The Black Stallion announced.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join the TIMS club?” Princess Odette asked.

“No thanks. I would much rather become a pirate. But thanks anyway!” The Black Stallion replied.

“Well, I hope you have fun then!” Superhero told her.

“Hey, wait a minute! If you are going to be a pirate, you will probably need a crew!” Fondue said.

“Good idea! I’ll need somebody to cook and clean and steer the ship! But where would I find a good crew?” said The Black Stallion.

“Why don’t you take these three groomsmen? We don’t really need them anymore, because we’re not having a wedding, and I called the store and they are non-refundable. So if you wanted, they could become your crew, and they could do the cooking and cleaning. And Mike the sea turtle could steer the ship, because he would probably know where everything is in the ocean. He did used to live there, you know.” Pancake suggested.

“That’s a great idea! Come along, crew!” The Black Stallion said, as she left with Brother #1, Brother #2, Brother #3, and Mike the Sea Turtle.

After The Black Stallion and her crew left, everyone else (Fondue, Pancake, Superhero, Princess Odette, Rock Mountain Jr. Orange Juice, and Torch) all got into Fondue’s car and went back to Weddings-R-Us.

When they got back to the office, everyone decided they were hungry, so Pancake and Princess Odette went into the kitchen and made a pizza angel. (An angel-shaped pizza) When they brought it out, everyone was sitting around the large inflatable table.

Suddenly, a huge tornado hurricane twister storm (they happen a lot in that area) hit the town and caused all the power to go out. A few seconds later, the storm disappeared and the power flashed back on. Torch, who was sitting closest to the large inflatable phone, suddenly yelled, “OW! I just got an electric shock from this phone!”, then fell out of his chair. “Don’t worry. I always do that.” he said.

“Oh no! I think the large inflatable table is leaking! There must be a hole in it!” Superhero told everyone. “What do we do?”

“Don’t worry! I have my handy-dandy duct tape in my pocket! We can put some over the hole!” Pancake announced, as she jumped up and yanked the duct tape out of her pocket and started plastering the table in it. Before anybody could say anything, she had most of the table covered in duct tape. “There! That must have stopped that leak!” she said triumphantly, using an adverb which here means “feeling full of pride at her victory”.

“Um…Pancake?” Superhero said, “The leak was over here.” she said, pointing to the one tiny space that Pancake hadn’t covered in duct tape.

“But I’m out of duct tape!” Pancake said, holding up her empty roll. “Now what do we do?”

“I know!! We can put one of these Batman band-aids on it!” Fondue said, holding up a Batman band-aid.

“Good idea!!” Princess Odette said.

A few days later, they got a letter from The Black Stallion.

To be continued…

“Now what do I do?” Torch thought to himself, as he watched Fondue’s car speed away, leaving him alone on the side of the road. After carefully considering the situation, he decided to do the only sensible thing he could. “I know! I’ll become a creepy underground miner! Now I just need an old, abandoned mine to take over!” he decided, as he began to walk down the road, searching for an old, abandoned mine.

After several hours of wandering around in the hot sun, he finally found what looked like the entrance to a mine. “That will be a great mine to take over, for my secret lair!” he declared, as he walked inside. Once he was inside, though, he was surprised to see a large pink rabbit sitting at a table.

“Who are you?” Torch asked, fully expecting the rabbit to reply.

“My name is Scotty The Irish Monkey. But you can call me Scotty. I’m a circus bunny with special tricks.” the rabbit said.

“Oh.” Torch said, obviously thinking it was perfectly normal to be standing in an old mine, having a conversation with a talking pink rabbit. “Why are you here?”

“You mean why am I here, in this cave, sitting at the table? Or why am I not with the circus? Or why I exist at all? Or--”

“Let’s just start with why you aren’t at the circus.” Torch interrupted.

“Oh. I see. Well, I am a circus-escapee. I decided I didn’t want to live there any longer, so one night I opened the door to my cage and ran away. It really wasn’t hard…the ringleader had obviously underestimated my genius thinking skills.” the rabbit explained, with a touch of defiance in his voice.“ After I got out, I stopped in at a post office and met this weird couple that kept trying to sell me some pants. Then I came out here and found this place, and have been hiding out ever since. I think the people from the circus are after me.”

“How many of them are there?” Torch asked. “Circus people, I mean. If there aren’t too many, I might be able to light them on fire.”

“Um…isn’t that a little harsh?” the rabbit asked.

“You’re right. Maybe I could just wave a burning stick at them, and they would go away.” Torch suggested.

“Yes…okay…have fun with that. Anyway…there are only two circus people, that I know of, and their pets. The ringleader-her name is Tank-has a hippo named Melvin, that always wears a Batman outfit. And the hypnotizer-her name is Bongo-has a pet giraffe named Cocky the Iron Mitten.”

“Cocky the Iron Mitten?” Torch repeated.

“Yes…I really don’t know why she named it that, but that’s what it’s name is. By the way, my name is Scotty the Irish Monkey.” Scotty said.

“You already said that.“ Torch said.

“I know, but I was hoping you would get my hint, and tell me your name.“ Scotty told him.

“Oh. I’m Torch. I think I had a name before that, but I don’t remember what it was.” Torch said.

“Nice to meet you, Torch. So, are you planning to stay in this cave with me, and we can both live here forever and have great times and have tea every afternoon and live happily ever after?” Scotty asked hopefully.

“Well actually, I was thinking of something more along the lines of taking over and turning it into my own secret lair, where I plot out my creepy underground activities, and one day plan to take over the world.” Torch replied.

“Oh. I don‘t think TIM would like that.” Scotty said.

“Who’s TIM?” Torch asked.

“This is TIM’s cave.” Scotty explained.

“Well, I’ll just have to go find TIM and talk to him about it.” Torch said, as he spun around and left the cave.

Not long after Torch left the cave, he came upon a person sitting on the side of the road. The person was wearing a bright red shirt that said “TIMS” on the front of it.

“Perfect!” Torch thought to himself. “Now I can just ask him politely if I can take over his cave and turn it into my secret lair, to plot my creepy underground activities in.”

“Hi!! My name is Rock Mountain Jr., and I seem to be lost. Do you know how to get to the nearest post office?” the boy asked.

“Um…no, sorry. Where did you come from?” Torch asked.

“I was just playing at a park, minding my own business, when my sister and a bunch of her friends came and kidnapped me. Then they took me and dropped me off at a church, and they left. After a while I got bored of sitting there by myself, so I went for a walk. On the way, I ran into this guy who said he was from The Important Massive Skittle club, and he took me to a meeting. After only ten minutes, I suddenly realized that the members of that club were pure genius, and that what they are doing will benefit the world in so many ways! I immediately signed myself up, and ordered a 167 year subscription to a magazine called ‘Citrus News‘, which comes with a free 167 year supply of orange juice. The club is very fond of orange juice…and skittles. In fact, that is all we talk about at the meetings!! They also gave me this lovely shirt. TIMS stands for The Important Massive Skittle. That’s the name of the club. We talk about orange juice! And Massive Skittles!! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes…what the club does. We go to meetings (they take place in the basement of a train station), and then the leader (he really is quite a genius…we call him Orange Juice) tells us about how some people try to trick you into believing that the fake orange juice is actually the real kind!” Rock Mountain Jr. explained.

“I see. And…this is bad?” Torch asked.

“OF COURSE IT IS BAD!!” Rock Mountain Jr. yelled. “They are fooling all the innocent bystanders in the world into drinking fake orange juice!!!!”

“Oh wow. I’m sorry to hear that. Well, I better be going now.” Torch said.

“Don’t you want to come to a meeting with me? I was on my way there right now!”

“Well…I guess I could come along. I was looking for TIM, so I could ask him if I could take over his cave and turn it into my secret lair to plot out my creepy underground activities, and eventually plan to take over the world, but I guess going to an Important Massive Skittle meeting is more important.” Torch said.

Torch and Rock Mountain Jr. both started walking down the road. A few minutes later, they saw a car approaching. It pulled up beside them and Fondue, Superhero, Princess Odette and Donkey (who was tied up again) all jumped out.

“There you are!!” Princess Odette said to Rock Mountain Jr. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

“What?! We have not!! We had forgotten all about him until we saw him walking down the road!” Superhero said.

“Where are you two going?” Fondue asked.

“We’re going to a meeting of The Important Massive Skittle club. Do you want to come?” Rock Mountain Jr. asked.

“Yes, the TIMS club members are all really great people!! They are making such a great impact on the world!! Also, they are all really good cooks! I’ve never actually met any of them, but Rock Mountain Jr. here has been telling me all about them.” Torch said.

“I see what you mean!!! They sound like great people!! Let’s all join their club immediately!!” Princess Odette said.

“What about me?!” Donkey asked.

“Oh, I suppose we can let you go. We don’t have time for a wedding now, anyway. We have to go help these skittle people, in whatever it is they are trying to do!!” Fondue told him. Superhero went over and untied Donkey, who grabbed Fly out of the car and ran off.

“Now let’s go to that meeting!!” Fondue said.

Ten minutes later, everyone (Fondue, Superhero, Princess Odette, Torch, and Rock Mountain Jr.) was sitting in the basement of the train station, along with about 50 other people. The leader of TIMS had just started talking.

“You see, it’s like orange juice. You have the real stuff, and the fake stuff. Okay, that was a great meeting, everyone. See you all next week.” Orange Juice said.

“WHAT!?!? That was it?!!” Torch asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry!! I almost forgot about our annual spelling bee!! Thank you so much for reminding me!” Orange Juice said. “Okay, Rock Mountain Jr., you can go first. How do you spell ‘decapitate‘?

“D, E, C, A, P, I, T, A, T, E.” Rock Mountain Jr. said.

“Very good!!! Now, who wants to go next?” said Orange Juice.

“I will!!” Fondue said.

“Okay, how do you spell ‘pyramid’?” Orange Juice asked.

“T, R, E, A, C, H, E, R, O, U, S!” Fondue replied happily.

An awkward silence filled the room. “Okay…well, moving on, does anybody want to renew their 167 year subscription to ‘Citrus News’?” Orange Juice asked.

“I do!! My last one is almost up!” said an old, glowing, three-foot-tall man in the back of the room.

“Okay! What is your name, sir?” Orange Juice asked.

“Mr. Bones.” the man replied.

“What is your first name, Mr. Bones?” Orange Juice asked.

“Nobody knows.” the old man said.

Another awkward silence filled the room. It was so quiet that the screeching vultures could be heard flying around outside.

“And that concludes our meeting today, everyone! Have a nice week!” Orange Juice announced, as he stood up and ran out of the room.

To be continued...

Fondue, Pancake, The Black Stallion, Superhero, Princess Odette, and Mike the sea turtle (who The Black Stallion had insisted they bring back to the Weddings-R-Us office with them) were once again sitting around the large inflatable table.

Pancake, Fondue, The Black Stallion, Superhero, and Princess Odette were all sitting around the large inflatable table (which by now had been moved over a few inches) in the office of Weddings-R-Us. Donkey was now tied and gagged in the corner (the screeching had gotten rather annoying). And of course the only thing they could find to tie him up with was a pair of rose-colored suspenders.

One day (which just happened to be October 23^rd) four nice, helpful, kind people were all sitting on large inflatable chairs, around a large inflatable table in the office of Weddings-R-Us.

“What should we do today?” asked The Black Stallion.

“I know!!!” said Fondue. “I have a great idea!! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked Pancake.

“Yes, definitely!!! If you are thinking that we should run around town and steal all the exit-signs from buildings, and stack them all neatly on this nice inflatable table, then YES, I am thinking EXACTLY what you are thinking!!!” Pancake said.

“Um…sorry, no, that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking that we should plan a wedding!!” Fondue replied.

“But who would we plan a wedding for?” Pancake asked, looking around. “We don’t have and spare people lying around that we could plan a wedding for. We used to have that shiny child, but she just disappeared one day. I think she was abducted by ninjas. I’ve heard they really like shiny children.”

“We could plan a wedding for Princess Odette.” The Black Stallion suggested.

“Good idea!!! But who will she marry?” Fondue asked.

“That’s a good question. But, luckily for us, I have a solution!! I have my handy-dandy big red pocket dictionary!!” Pancake said, pulling the large red book out of her pocket.

“Um…Pancake? It’s a very nice dictionary, but how is that going to help us?” The Black Stallion asked.

“Because, at the back of my handy-dandy big red pocket dictionary, there is this handy-dandy mini phonebook page! And there is a phone number in here for a place that sells grooms, already dressed for the wedding!! And they can deliver!!” Pancake said happily.

“That’s a great idea!! Let’s call them!!” Fondue said, grabbing the large inflatable phone that was conveniently sitting on the table right in front of her. “Hello? I would like to buy a groom…what? Oh…yes, I see…well I know this is a busy time of the year for weddings, but…yes, I understand that you are running low on your stock…but I’m sure you must have something left, maybe in the back of the storeroom? Really? Oh, that’s great!! We’ll take him!! Thanks, bye!!”

“What did they say?” Pancake asked.

“Well,” Fondue said, “They were almost out, but the nice lady on the phone managed to find one for us. And, they gave us a deal…they are throwing in his three brothers for free!! We can use them as groomsmen! They’ll be here in about an hour.”

“I’ve noticed Princess Odette hasn’t said much lately.” Pancake said, suddenly.

“Yes! Come to think of it…where IS Princess Odette?” The Black Stallion asked.

(This was about the point where I realized that I had put Princess Odette into the story, and I hadn’t actually done anything with her yet)

“I don’t know,” Fondue said, “but we really should go look for her! We can’t let her miss her own wedding!”

“I’ll go look for her, while you guys finish planning.” said Pancake, as she ran out the door, jumped into a red punch bug (that was handily parked right outside the door) and sped away, driving like a maniac, while Batman music blasted in the background.

“Okay…what else do we have to plan for the wedding?” The Black Stallion asked.

“We will have to pick out some bride’s maids for Princess Odette, and make a cake, and invitations.”

“Well, you and I, and Pancake, can be the bridesmaids, and I can make the invitations!“ The Black Stallion volunteered. “I have my handy box of crayons right here in my pocket!”

“Okay, good. Now we just need to--“ she was interrupted by the doorbell. “Oh! That must be the groom we ordered!! I’ll get it!” Fondue said, as she went to answer the door.

When Fondue came back, she had with her a boy dressed in a groom outfit and flip flops. The boy had a mini version of himself (also dressed in a groom outfit and flip flops), who just followed him around and didn’t say anything.

“Where are the other three?” The Black Stallion asked.

“Oh, I left them in the hallway. I just thought I should bring this one in, so we can take pictures of it and Princess Odette, to put on the invitations.” Fondue said.

“So, what is your name?” The Black Stallion asked, “I have to put it on the wedding announcements.”

“NO!! I WON’T TELL YOU!!” the boy started screaming, then he whipped off one of his flip flops (which had a nice squiggle pattern on it) and started running around the room, waving it above his head. “IF YOU ASK ME AGAIN, I WILL HIT YOU WITH THIS SHOE!!” (the mini version of him also yanked off one of his flip flops off, and started waving it around as he ran in circles around the room, not saying anything.)

“Oh dear…then we will have to pick a name for you. What would be a nice name? I think we should name it…Fyllis John-Paul. Oh! Or Matilda Meredith Elizabeth! I’ve always thought that was such a nice name.” The Black Stallion said.

“NO! YOU CAN’T NAME ME THAT!!!” the boy yelled, still running around waving his shoe, and being followed by the mini version of himself.

“Don’t worry, there must be a name on the receipt somewhere. Oh! Here it is…it says his name is Donkey.” Fondue said.

“Oh.” said The Black Stallion. “That is disappointing. I was so looking forward to naming him Matilda Meredith Elizabeth.”

Just then, the red punch bug came screeching to a stop outside the building, and Pancake jumped out and came running inside, with her arms full of stolen exit signs. “Hey, guys! Looks what I got!!!”

“Um…that’s nice…but where’s Princess Odette?” Fondue asked.

“Who?”

“Princess Odette…you were supposed to be looking for Princess Odette.”
“Oh, yeah…well I already found her, and I thought I had a bit of extra time, so I went to get some of the great exit-signs, and--”

“You found her? Well where is she?” Fondue interrupted.

“She’s right out there.” Pancake told her, pointing out the window.

“Princess Odette!” Fondue called, “Come here! We have to finish planning your wedding!”

“Okay, I’ll be right there!” Princess Odette called back, as she started to cross the road. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge green bat-like creature swooped down out of the sky and carried her away!

“GASP! That thing just kidnapped Princess Odette!” Fondue shouted.

“AHH!! Now what we do?!?” The Black Stallion yelled.

“Aren’t these exit signs great?” Pancake asked, obviously not paying attention to what was happening outside.

“We should call the police!” The Black Stallion suggested.

“No! Let’s call the fire department!” Fondue said.

“No! Let’s get a huge canon and blast that thing down!” said Pancake, who had by now realized what was going on…either that, or she just wanted to use a canon.

“Where are we going to get a canon?” Fondue asked.

“We’ll make one! I have a library book that has complete instructions on how to build your own homemade canon! All we need is some lumber, a few nails, and OH MY WHAT IS ALL THAT SCREECHING?!?!” Pancake said, suddenly noticing all the yelling that was going on in the background.

“Oh, that’s just the groom we ordered. He’s not so supportive of this whole wedding idea, so we had to lock him up while we came outside, to make sure he wouldn’t escape.” The Black Stallion explained.

Pancake, Fondue, and The Black Stallion all decided to follow the large, green, bat-like creature to see where it was taking Princess Odette. After a few hours, it finally led them to a large field beside a riding arena. The three of them decided to wait in the bushes, to watch what the beast was planning to do. They have only been waiting for a few minutes when they heard random superhero music start blasting in the background, and Superhero (in her awesome amazing neon hot pink superhero suit) came charging out of the arena, riding her trusty horse, Alexander, and leading an entire gypsy drill team (who were all wearing their own awesome amazing neon hot pink costumes). Prince Derek (in much less awesome, mostly just regular every day clothes) came running in from the other side.

“I’ll save you, Odette!” Prince Derek yelled, before suddenly bursting into song.

(he is still singing)

(and…more singing)

(wow, this is a long song, isn’t it?)

“ENOUGH!! I’ll save her myself! I was supposed to be doing that, anyway, before this idiot came along!” Superhero yelled, as she charged in, leading the gypsy drill team. They all began to stomple and trample and make their horses step on the large, green bat-like creature.

Three and a half minutes later, Superhero & the gypsy drill team had rescued Princess Odette, and everyone (except the gypsy drill team, who has suddenly remembered they had a show to get to) was on their way back to Weddings-R-Us. Everyone, that is, except for Prince Derek, who was still standing in the middle of the field, all by himself, still singing.

“Excuse me, sir, but is that your car parked in that lake over there?” asked a police officer, who had just walked up.

“Yes, why?” Prince Derek asked, finally done singing.

“Well, that’s a no-parking area. I’m going to have to give you a ticket.” said the police officer.

That night, Pancake, Fondue, The Black Stallion, Princess Odette, and Superhero were all sitting around the large inflatable table, eating a nice dinner of pizza that Fondue had made for them. Donkey was still running around, waving his shoes in the air, but strangely, mini Donkey was no where to be found.

“Mmm…this is really good pizza, Fondue!” said The Black Stallion.

“Thanks! I made it from my own secret recipe.” Fondue said.

“So, now that Superhero has agreed to be a bride’s maid, we have one too many. There are only three groomsmen” Princess Odette pointed out.

“I know! We can just call Rent-A-Groomsman!” Pancake said, “I have their number right here in my handy-dandy big red pocket dictionary! We can just order one up, then they can deliver it with their new helicopter method! They just drop them right through the roof! And it will probably not even kill him, because he might land on this large inflatable table.”

Ten minutes later, after they had called Rent-A-Groomsmen, their handy rented groomsman came crashing through the ceiling and landed right beside the table, on the hard cement floor. Luckily, it didn’t actually kill him. Pancake went running over with a measuring tape.

“Wow! These rented groomsmen get sturdier all the time!” Superhero said.

“Yes! This one is a lot better than the last guy! This one didn’t even die when he hit the floor! I thought we had the table in the right place this time. Guess not. At least we were closer than last time…he only missed it by about 4 inches this time!!” Pancake said, as she put her measuring tape away.

“I don’t think I’d ever want to have a job like that, where they drop me through the ceiling.” The Black Stallion said.

“Neither did I.” said the rented groomsman, who had by now gotten up off the floor. “I’ve always wanted to be a torch, but this was the only job I could get.”

To be continued…