This came across a Large Family Mothering blog I read... I thought it was wonderfully encouraging this morning. ( http://www.breedzing.com/?p=205 )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you need a lift today?

If there’s one thing I know, I can’t rely on myself or my own way of thinking. I seem to get into grooves that end in negativity and destruction. The only life I can live in this earth is one where I am on my knees, with my nose in The Book!

Some folks have accused my over the years of having a large family just because I am “more patient” or “more organized” or I am some sort of saint! The truth be known, I have so many children because God knew many things about me that I did not know, and He knew that He could 1) use me as I surrendered, and 2) use my kids to help me to surrender.

As a young person I took great pride in the fact that I was  a “capable” person. Thank God He didn’t leave me in the disgusting, self-admiring state! Every year and every child has brought me more to the realization that I don’t want to be capable, I don’t want to be “independent”, I don’t want to be strong. I want Jesus to be all, and in all.

There are so many of us that embark on what we perceive to be a God-ly journey, only to find out that we were just trying to conform to some expectation of what being “good” looks like. But being good isn’t enough. We can’t be good enough. We can’t parent or homeschool or mother well enough to meet the needs or expectations of either God or those around us.

It comes down to the heart. Why am I doing what I am doing? Is it because I want others to think I am righteous? Is it because I am trying to win a little bit of noteriety, even among my circle of friends? Is it because I like being strange? (I really do like being strange, sometimes) Or is it because I have died with Christ, and even if He took away my husband, all of my children, my church, etc., and dropped me in the middle of the darkest part of Europe (this is the continent that needs Jesus now), would I still praise Him? Could I say with all of my heart, “The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord”?

And so we come to the paradox of the Gospel,  as Jesus told us that in order to find our lives we must die. This is where the encouragement for today comes from–in the death of myself and the life of God.

I leave you with the words of St. Francis of Assisi:

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

• Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!