• Friday, December 7, 2007 - It's hard to believe my "newborn" is 5 months old now!
My last entry was his newborn picture. That's how long I haven't blogged for.
I've had a lot to say in recent weeks, but very little time for blogging. I am drastically cutting down my computer time to get serious about looking after my family.
I finally bought the Managers of Their Homes book and am implementing a schedule. I don't want to speak too soon, but it is helping. I really want to wait a month or so to give a more realistic evaluation, but I feel that I am at a point in my life that I CAN do this!
I really battle with tiredness. In fact I shouldn't really say battle because most often I just surrender to it. After going through the Demolishing Strongholds workbook at http://www.restorationministries.org/
I finally feel able to fight it as a demonic attack.
I encourage you to go through this material as well, it's all free, which is refreshing! I found I was "demonised" by almost every demonic stronghold mentioned in the workbook. I had believed that Christians couldn't be "demon possessed", but now I know that ALL MY LIFE I have been "demonised" and had NEVER BEEN TOLD HOW TO GET FREE!!! I have been a Christian about 20 years.
I have always felt that my battles against sin were hopeless. I would muster up a whole lot of will-power and pray, and ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and that would last a few hours at most before my defenses collapsed and I would give way to sin. Usually anger or irritability, but many others as well.
Most of the time I HAD NO WARNING that I was about to sin- the thought, the feeling and the action would all be over in a split second. This was not the "Victorious Christian Life" I had heard about. I now realised that in those cases I was under the power of demonic strongholds- demons that had taken up residence, and I THOUGHT THEY WERE ME!!! I thought those thoughts were my thoughts. I have been free a week now, and I feel I'm finally starting to live.
I want to emphasise that I was personally responsible for every sin I committed whilst under the influence of demons. Our Father in Heaven will not take the excuse "the devil made me do it" or "I was tired" or even "I was pre-menstrual". There is NO EXCUSE FOR SIN, but there is forgiveness if we renounce it and turn from it.
But I had confessed and repented more often than I can remember and still there was no victory. I really really wanted to do what my Heavenly Father wanted, but much of the time, I was unable to. Now of course the attacks still come, but I have control. There is a point when I realise I am having a thought that doesn't conform to Yahweh's will, and that I have a choice, to either give in to it, or to renounce that thought and ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Then, miraculously, it is GONE!!!! Will power just did not work, but Holy Spirit power sure does!
I won't say I haven't sinned for the past week, I have. But now I feel that I have a choice. I feel that it IS possible to have victory over sin.
Hopefully I will have time to update my blog as I travel this journey, and I hope if you can Identify with my struggle, you will head over and check out Demolishing Strongholds
by Mike and Sue Dowgiewicz. They also have an audio and a video of the material in the book, also for free if you prefer to watch or listen.
Now we are gradually helping our children to get rid of their demonic strongholds too.
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• Friday, December 7, 2007 - I understand!
The Dowgiewiczs have a lot of good information. I'm reading "Freedom to Forgive" now which is VERY helpful. Joyce Myers Battle for the Mind is also very good.
Thanks for telling me about the link. It should have been http://heartofwisdom.com/httpdocs/blogcontest2.html
Thanks for your humble post--being honest and humble allows us to bear one another's burdens.