Dec. 14, 2006 - The reason I haven't blogged lately...
Ya know, I love my oldest daughter. Really, I do. At the same time, she has caused quite a bit of stress in my life the last few months. She's the reason I've kept quiet. I guess I didn't want to tell the whole world that she is finally giving us fits. She's not been perfect by any means, but her teenage years were fairly quiet when compared to other folks her age.
Well, I guess she tried to cram it all in at the end (she'll be 20 in a couple of weeks).
A couple of weeks before she moved out in September, I encouraged her to go out with a guy from church. I had NO idea what I was starting. Within two weeks, I was very frustrated with this nice, clean cut, polite, returned missionary. He took over her life. He was with her 24/7. And what frustrated me even more is that she LET him be in control. If she had been head over hills in love with him, I could have understood this. But, she kept telling me how much she DIDN'T like him. They had a lot of common interests (music and dancing), but the romantic spark wasn't there for her. As time progressed, we (parents) counseled her to stop dating this guy, because at 26, we knew he wanted more than a friend to pal around with.
It got to the point where he was practically living with her (I don't say this lightly). He even told that she could move in with him (they "only needed three days to get ready for a wedding") if we were too hard on her.
So, I got down on my knees and pleaded for help...and sobbed. Not even an hour later, my mom called and her first question was, "How is ______ (oldest)?" Previously, I had asked my parents if she could come to see them at Christmas if things got bad. During this phone call we started making actual plans. Later I suggested to 19yodd a trip to FL during the holidays. She was all for it and bought airline tickets the very next day. He got mad that she didn't ask him first!
She broke up with the boyfriend the day before she left (this isn't the first time), and she is now in FL with my parents. (Mom and Dad, THANK YOU !!!) I hope this will give her enough time apart from this guy to make the break. She knows what he does (she's the one that tells me first), so hopefully she'll be able to gain the strength needed to sever the relationship.
When I'm around this guy, I'm always amazed at how nice and polite he is. But, when I hear the things he says to her ("No one else would put up with you.") and does (got mad because she didn't consult him about where she was going to spend the holidays), I feel absolutely sick that my dd has been trapped in this guy's web. It is like he has brain washed her.
This has been SO hard for me to witness. At times, I've felt like my hands were tied and that I had no leverage. But, I've learned some wonderful lessons. God hears and answers my prayers. Out of all of his many children, he is aware of me and my problems. He loves me and my daughter too. What a blessing it is to experience that first hand!
Comments
Dec. 25, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by OurHomeSweetHomeschool
Stopping by to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas as you celebrate the birth of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ!!!
Blessings,
Theresa
