Diversity, Acceptance, Tolerance - words some people like to use these days to be politically correct and patriotically American. But when we add the word Grace to the mix, we must naturally turn the conversation to a much different scenario...the sometimes exciting, sometimes downright scary local Christian homeschool support group! 
[Small disclaimer: This blog entry is intended to be generic without finger-pointing at any particular people or group of people. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental - in case some of my dear, beloved, full-of-grace support group friends happen to be reading this.  ]
In many local Christian homeschool support groups, you will find yourself involved with a very diverse group of families. Some have lots of children, some have only one. Some don't watch television, movies or play video games, some do all of the above with regularity, and still others watch and play on a limited basis. There are varying degrees of what types of movies, tv shows and video games will be watched and played depending on the household. Some families are very involved in church youth groups, some don't do youth groups. Some families go to various denominational churches, some home church. Some home birth. Some follow rigid schedules each day, some just go with the flow. Every homeschool family that does not live in my home is DIFFERENT than mine.
So how far do we go out of our way to connect with those homeschool families that are different than ours? If we tend to be more liberal with what we allow our children to watch, do we look down on those who put a tight reign on those things? If we keep our children out of youth group, do we have a superior attitude toward those whose children attend their youth group? Depending on whether we're more conservative or not-so-conservative, do we tend to exclude the others from our little circle? Do the unschoolers visit on one side of the room while the MOTH users visit on the other?
Now, I do understand that it is natural to gravitate toward those who mostly share our values and outlook on things. Those are the ones who will become our best friends and confidants, and that is a good thing. What bothers me, though, is that we often do seem to be judgemental toward those who are different than we are. Why is this? We're all Christians. We all love our children and want the best for them. We all homeschool...
Have we really cornered the market on what is right and wrong? Are we really that much more mature in our Christian walk than the others in our group who are different than we are? Have we really figured out the correct way to raise children - and they haven't?
In case you don't have the answer to the above questions - it's no.
We are all at varying degrees in our walks and in our maturity and in our knowledge of how to raise our children. We all come from very different backgrounds. We all have children with our traits, not another family's; therefore, how we raise our children will be different than how they raise theirs.
So how do we come to terms with our diversity? How do we accept and give tolerance towards other homeschool parents in our group who have the same basic goals in mind for their children as we do, yet they go about it in different ways?
We extend them grace. We look at them across the room (without staring too obviously) and pray for them and their families as we pray for ourselves and our family. We ask God to show them how He would have them raise their unique children as we ask Him how we should raise ours. If we know of difficulties they are having, we lovingly pray that He would give them direction and wisdom, we let them know we are praying, and then we don't gossip behind their backs when they are not around. We do not see ourselves as superior, but as fellow parents who love our children as they do. Whether we agree with them or not on various points regarding everything from movies to youth groups to clothing choices, we respect them, pray for them, love them, and speak to them. We try to get to know them. Sometimes, our efforts may not be received well. But more often than not, we will find that they are more similar to us than we ever would have known, if we are able to approach them with our preconceived notions tucked away, out of sight behind us.
Extending grace to fellow homeschoolers...what a concept. Let's do it!
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• Monday, September 18, 2006 - Me again
TJ