I am sorry to have been away for so long. In August I spent six days in Pennsylvania helping my sister take care of my dad's things while he was in the hospital. I went to visit him and my sister, my husband and I read from the Bible to him while we were there. We went through my dad's things and cleaned out his apartment since the plan was that he would be going into an assisted living facility and wouldn't be able to take all his things. We discussed this with him many times during previous visits.

My sister had called me a few days before this and told me that my dad's health was not doing well. My dad has had many bouts with cancer including throat and lung cancer and he had a bone marrow disorder in which he had to get blood transfusions. He was in a therapy hospital and was taken to the main hospital for an antibiotic for an infection and a transfusion for his bone marrow disorder. The next night I was on the phone with my sister when the hospital called and told her they were moving him to another room because the found a tumor, even though earlier they told her everything showed up fine. They did surgery to put a temporary bag on his side to prepare to take care of the tumor and they found a tear which caused bowel to leak into his stomach. (My dad complained for years about stomach problems and the doctors felt he was just complaining.) His condition stabilized until the day after the relatives visited him, then it went down hill from there. We felt it was important to take care of my dad's things as soon as possible because my sister had been paying for my dad's apartment for the past few months and while he was in the hospital.

While there we visited my dad in the hospital, met with the doctors and called and checked on him many times. The week before my dad was sitting up and visiting with relatives from Florida who hadn't seen him in years. They said he joked and laughed with them. The day after they left his health detearated and he kept his eyes closed. When I got there and called out to him, he opened his eyes but didn't look but straight ahead. I talked to him and he cried. I calmed him down and held his hand, which I don't know if it was allowed. His kidneys were failing and he was full of fluid. His one arm and hand were all bandaged up but I held his other hand and told him I loved him. I then told him I had to leave and he started to cry again but I then again calmed him down and told him I would return. We went back the next day and he again had his eyes opened. My sister was surprised because she had seen him everyday and she said it had been a week since he opened his eyes and he opened them for me.

I called and checked on my dad on Tuesday morning and then we drove home. We went ahead and came home because the past few days they said his condition was stable and nothing changed. We took turns calling at least two times a day. On Wednesday, August, 20, 2008, I didn’t hear from my sister so I decided to call the hospital to check on my dad. I called at 12:40pm. I asked for his nurse. I asked the nurse how my dad was doing and the nurse said, “He passed.” I asked again and the reply was, “He passed, he pass, just now, he passed.”. I was in a bit of shock. I tried calling all my siblings. I got hold of my one brother who is in the military. (He is military police and I found out at the funeral that he was in the middle of a traffic stop but he had to let the guy go because of the phone call and both of us being upset)

He found out that the hospital staff were very surprised because my dad’s condition never changed. His heart stopped and he went to sleep. Our prayers were answered. Dad suffered a lot but he didn’t suffer and struggle in his passing. We prayed that God would heal him or take him peacefully when he was ready. My brother said it was ironic that I just happened to call to check on him the exact moment that he passed away. The official cause of death was listed as respiratory failure from kidney failure even though the hospital told us his heart stopped. We may never really know.

We went back to Pennsylvania on Friday. We had the viewing on Sunday and the funeral on Monday. My sister and I still have a lot to take care of but I am thankful that we did get a lot done already. I had my dad and two of my siblings go to the funeral home two years ago to let my dad make his own arrangements and decisions about his funeral. I felt that he should have things his way. I am so glad now that I did that even though I felt a little guilty at the time. I only did it because my dad’s health has been bad but not critical for years. Also, my dad was 75 years old and I felt that it was best to have those things taken care of so we wouldn’t have to worry about it later.

He had a military funeral and was buried in the family cemetery in his home town. It is still hard for me to think of him as being gone. Many times I think to pick up the phone to give him a call but then catch myself. He didn’t look like himself at the funeral, of course, so that may have something to do with it.

I am putting together a tribute for my dad that I will share soon.

Not because of my dad’s death, but I am seeing some ugliness with my siblings. I am getting ready to write each of them a letter and let them know my thoughts. The Bible says there is no room for bitterness, and we are to be forgiving, etc. My siblings are Christians but they have forgotten these things. I want to make sure I have done my part before anything happens to any of them or me. I don’t want to stand before the Lord and be asked why I didn’t do everything I could to turn them back to God. I know I can only do so much but the Holy Spirit can do anything. I do believe that I have to do my part.

This has been a very difficult time.  Loosing a parent or someone close puts a person through many challenges including physical, emotional and spiritual.  I trust the Lord to give me peace through it all.