I'm sure everyone has their own life filled with chaos. I have such chaos in my life recently that I am so ready for some peace.
You may have heard of the movie, "Four Weddings and a Funeral", we have had Four Funerals and a Wedding in the past five months. While I haven't watched the movie, my own life has been topsy turvy since last summer especially since August.
My father passed away in August, the only daughter of one of my husband's bosses passed away in October, my mother in law passed away in December, Our oldest daughter was married in January and the father of another of my husband's bosses passed away in February.
Sunday has always seemed like the close of the past and the beginning of the new with me. I finish off my week or put a close to it on Sunday and I start the new week also on Sunday. I feel so refreshed and ready for the week after going to church and feel drained and withdrawn when I miss.
This coming Sunday is the start of a new week and new month. I like to think of a new beginning too. I would like to go through the rest of this year without anymore sadness, illness or tramadic events. I would like to see happiness, peace, things falling into place, and great things take place.
My husband's birthday is Monday. I am planning a nice dinner and family time. We all have to watch our budgets but I think we also need to make sure we don't forget to do all we can to live. Spend time with your friends, your family, your self and especially with God.
I have a busy year this year but I am trying to get my self organized so I can have "Me Time" along with spending time with family and friends but most especially with God.
I started a Bible study on Daniel. It is a Beth Moore Bible Study, which I will write more later. I wanted to share that with this study I have learned that 1. We can be delivered FROM the fire 2. We can be delivered THROUGH the fire (or) 3. We can be delivered BY the fire. God has gotten my family and I though so much these past five months. I praise His name. I could not haven't gotten through my dad's death and funeral or my daughters wedding without Him. Nor could my husband have gotten through his mother's death and funeral without Him. God is faithful and is with us through our trials and tribulations. He is with us in the fire.
When I look at my calendar it scares me. Actually, it doesn't. I am thankful that I have a calendar to help me to schedule myself. I have been so busy with many things lately it isn't funny. On top of all the things scheduled on my calendar many unexpected things have been thrown in. Just two weeks ago I was to be at four different places at the same time. Impossible yes, but I did manange to cancel one thing, get a substitute for another, my son went to the third to represent the rest of the family and then I went with my husband and daughter to the last event. It took some doing by I managed to get organized and have an enjoyable time. My main thing is that I have to learn to say, "NO". I go on guilt trips and I have got to STOP and think. I need to pray and not just ask, "What would Jesus do, but does God want me to do."
At this time I am a little overwhelmed and it is for many reasons but a main reason is because I feel that guilt feeling. I teach and work with children at a couple of MOPS groups. I also help in our church nursery, lead in our local AHG troop, teach during woman's Bible study and homeschool my kids. I started helping with the one Mops group because I thought I would enjoy it, and I do, and to help make a little extra money. Well, I then took on a 2nd MOPs group and then a Women's Bible study. I got a phone call yesterday from yet another MOPS group. I had to politely turn them down. I did give them references. I felt bad but then after my day yesterday was done I thanked the Lord that I didn't feel guilty and felt I did the right thing. I plan on finishing out the 10 weeks of the Women's Bible study and I know they mentioned me coming back in January when they start again but I'm am seriously thinking about NOT. I will continue the MOPS. They don't meet everyweek and they aren't as stressful. I teach 3 year olds at one and take care of 1 year olds at the other.
I need to focus on "ME" a llittle more. I am finding that in scheduling on my calendar there is no time for "ME". Now I don't want this to sound selfish but I got to thinking. With no "ME" time then what good am I. I need time to refocus and regroup. I am no good to anyone if I am run down, worn out and overwhelmed. I am finding that even though I do good things in the church I have little time for God. I do read my Bible but I have put it aside to let other things be put into the forefront too often. I need time for "ME" so I can read my Bible and reflect on what I read. I need time to take care of my personal needs, such as a good long soak in the tub so I can re-focus and clear my head. I need time to relax in the evenings so I can get a good nights sleep. I need time to spend time taking care of myself and my family. I am still working on the re-organization and I had to put a lot off because of the many things that took place this summer.
I have stained my front porch and painted the face plate. I have put away some of my dad's things that I brought home with me. I have been reorganizing my school room. I have moved some furniture in my ohter rooms. I am getting ready to re organize the closets. I have also been working in the garage and basement. I do have the help of my family on most things.
I have many things going on on my calendar like the schooling, MOPS and the childcare for the women's Bible study. I also have my AHG meetings and next weekend I will have a group of girls camping out at my place, the next weekend we are attending a PJ party for AHG and the girls will be working the awards ceremony plans (which I am in charge of), the following weekend some of my husbands relatives are planning a visit (they have never been to this house, and we have lived here two years and they have only been to our old house about 6 times in 25 years with the last time being for about 2-3 hours in 2005), then we have the AHG awards ceremony. Needless to say I am keeping my November as free as possible. My plan for November is to only do the things I have already committed to EXCEPT for one thing. That this is my son's EAGLE ceremony. It will either be in November or early December. I haven't decided yet. I am looking forward to it but it will be a lot of work to prepare so I need some free time to prepare for it.
I need some "ME" time. We all do. I don't think it is being selfish but necessary. I hope you all can find some "ME" time. I will work on this and let you know later how it is working.
I am sorry to have been away for so long. In August I spent six days in Pennsylvania helping my sister take care of my dad's things while he was in the hospital. I went to visit him and my sister, my husband and I read from the Bible to him while we were there. We went through my dad's things and cleaned out his apartment since the plan was that he would be going into an assisted living facility and wouldn't be able to take all his things. We discussed this with him many times during previous visits.
My sister had called me a few days before this and told me that my dad's health was not doing well. My dad has had many bouts with cancer including throat and lung cancer and he had a bone marrow disorder in which he had to get blood transfusions. He was in a therapy hospital and was taken to the main hospital for an antibiotic for an infection and a transfusion for his bone marrow disorder. The next night I was on the phone with my sister when the hospital called and told her they were moving him to another room because the found a tumor, even though earlier they told her everything showed up fine. They did surgery to put a temporary bag on his side to prepare to take care of the tumor and they found a tear which caused bowel to leak into his stomach. (My dad complained for years about stomach problems and the doctors felt he was just complaining.) His condition stabilized until the day after the relatives visited him, then it went down hill from there. We felt it was important to take care of my dad's things as soon as possible because my sister had been paying for my dad's apartment for the past few months and while he was in the hospital.
While there we visited my dad in the hospital, met with the doctors and called and checked on him many times. The week before my dad was sitting up and visiting with relatives from Florida who hadn't seen him in years. They said he joked and laughed with them. The day after they left his health detearated and he kept his eyes closed. When I got there and called out to him, he opened his eyes but didn't look but straight ahead. I talked to him and he cried. I calmed him down and held his hand, which I don't know if it was allowed. His kidneys were failing and he was full of fluid. His one arm and hand were all bandaged up but I held his other hand and told him I loved him. I then told him I had to leave and he started to cry again but I then again calmed him down and told him I would return. We went back the next day and he again had his eyes opened. My sister was surprised because she had seen him everyday and she said it had been a week since he opened his eyes and he opened them for me.
I called and checked on my dad on Tuesday morning and then we drove home. We went ahead and came home because the past few days they said his condition was stable and nothing changed. We took turns calling at least two times a day. On Wednesday, August, 20, 2008, I didn’t hear from my sister so I decided to call the hospital to check on my dad. I called at 12:40pm. I asked for his nurse. I asked the nurse how my dad was doing and the nurse said, “He passed.” I asked again and the reply was, “He passed, he pass, just now, he passed.”. I was in a bit of shock. I tried calling all my siblings. I got hold of my one brother who is in the military. (He is military police and I found out at the funeral that he was in the middle of a traffic stop but he had to let the guy go because of the phone call and both of us being upset)
He found out that the hospital staff were very surprised because my dad’s condition never changed. His heart stopped and he went to sleep. Our prayers were answered. Dad suffered a lot but he didn’t suffer and struggle in his passing. We prayed that God would heal him or take him peacefully when he was ready. My brother said it was ironic that I just happened to call to check on him the exact moment that he passed away. The official cause of death was listed as respiratory failure from kidney failure even though the hospital told us his heart stopped. We may never really know.
We went back to Pennsylvania on Friday. We had the viewing on Sunday and the funeral on Monday. My sister and I still have a lot to take care of but I am thankful that we did get a lot done already. I had my dad and two of my siblings go to the funeral home two years ago to let my dad make his own arrangements and decisions about his funeral. I felt that he should have things his way. I am so glad now that I did that even though I felt a little guilty at the time. I only did it because my dad’s health has been bad but not critical for years. Also, my dad was 75 years old and I felt that it was best to have those things taken care of so we wouldn’t have to worry about it later.
He had a military funeral and was buried in the family cemetery in his home town. It is still hard for me to think of him as being gone. Many times I think to pick up the phone to give him a call but then catch myself. He didn’t look like himself at the funeral, of course, so that may have something to do with it.
I am putting together a tribute for my dad that I will share soon.
Not because of my dad’s death, but I am seeing some ugliness with my siblings. I am getting ready to write each of them a letter and let them know my thoughts. The Bible says there is no room for bitterness, and we are to be forgiving, etc. My siblings are Christians but they have forgotten these things. I want to make sure I have done my part before anything happens to any of them or me. I don’t want to stand before the Lord and be asked why I didn’t do everything I could to turn them back to God. I know I can only do so much but the Holy Spirit can do anything. I do believe that I have to do my part.
This has been a very difficult time. Loosing a parent or someone close puts a person through many challenges including physical, emotional and spiritual. I trust the Lord to give me peace through it all.
My oldest daughter will be 24 years old this year and I just got brave enough to allow her to cut my hair. Understand that I have come home and cut it after going to the beautyshop because they didn't do it right. I recently went to have my hair cut and they didn't cut much and I wasn't happy with the result. It had a bushiness to it and I couldn't do much with it. Well, my daughter came to me to have me trim her hair and when I was done and said well, why don't you cut mine now. She did a really good job, of course she didn't attempt my bangs especially since they are feathered back. My hair has a natural body and slight curl to it. Now that it is shorter it looks so much nicer and even makes me look younger. Ladies, I am telling you, when your children keep getting older it feels good to look a bit younger at times. By the way, my hair is natural. I have not colored it and my husband and children do not want me to either. They remind me that the Bible says: "Gray hair is a crowning glory". My hair is mostly light brown but the gray is catching up quickly. I think that if a person wants to color their hair it is their decision but I can tell you that my mother colored her hair so much at one time it turned "GREEN". I think I will keep mine natural.
My daughter, Cassandra, has beautiful locks and donates them out of love. This isn't the first time she has donated her hair. She has/had long, thick, beautiful hair. She had it cut and donated at Great Clips for Locks of Love.
You have to have at least 10" of hair to donate. They cut off 12" plus from Cassie. As you can see she still has plenty left. She can still pull it back in a pony tail.
I use to keep my hair long when I was younger and so did my other daughters. Now they all have their hair shorter. I'm not sure but Cassie will probably grow her hair out again so she can donate again. It is such a good cause. She was so happy to be able to do a good deed.
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I have been home schooling our children since 1992. My oldest graduated in May 2008 from Northern Kentucky College. My second oldest is still in college. I am still homeschooling my only son and youngest daughter. With many ups and downs both in home schooling and life in general we keep moving forward with the Lords guidance and strength. I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. Phil. 4:13.
I am very busy with volunteering and helping where I can. I am a leader in our local American Heritage Girls Scouting Organization. My youngest daughter is in the American Heritage Girls and my son is in the Boy Scouts. I believe it is important to help others when you can but most important is family.
The 23rd Pslam is my favorite even though I have many favorites I know that when I recite or read the 23rd Pslam I feel such a closeness with God. I feel like this Pslam is a comfort for me like a childs security blanket. I am a Precious One to my Lord and he is with me always. I chose Precious One as my user name to remind me that in Gods sight I am His Precious One and to let you all know that your too are Precious to the Lord.
I am sorry to have been away for so long. In August I spent six days in Pennsylvania helping my sister take care of my dad's things while he was in the hospital. I went to visit him and my sister, my husband and I read from the Bible to him while we were there. We went through my dad's things and cleaned out his apartment since the plan was that he would be going into an assisted living facility and wouldn't be able to take all his things. We discussed this with him many times during previous visits. 
