Tools • Oct. 23, 2006

When I had one child, I knew it all.  When I had two, I knew even more.  But curiously, with the addition of each child, I find I actually know less and less.  Now with six, I know nothing

 

I used to be very critical of what I deemed to be unnecessary baby products.  "Marketing!", I would cry.  "Sloppy parenting!", one of my more self-righteous thoughts.  And so items like baby swings, jumpy seats, cupboard door locks, and especially those ridiculous crib tents were only for the weak-willed.

 

Right.  And then I had four under six.  Oh!  And then five under eight.  Aha!  Six under ten, and a male ten, at that.  A male ten-year-old who couldn't remember where he put his own shoes, let alone remember whether or not we had grabbed the diaper bag on our way out the door.

 

And so last week when we battled the two-year-old with the new-found freedom at nap and bedtimes, Lisa suggested I try their crib tent.  Oddly, while I would have rolled my eyes years ago, I said as emphatically as I could, "YES!  Bring it over TODAY!"

 

It's funny.  This little girl who tested us constantly, even when I diligently sat there watching her to see if she put her toe over the edge of the mattress (yes, I've read that parenting book, too) suddenly loves the boundaries that the crib tent provides.  Huh.

 

She cried the first nap the tent went up, but curiously that night she said, "I go sleep in the tent?"  She loves this tent.  And you know what?  The tent has caused her to cease winning.  The tent has given her and her sisters their much-needed sleep back.  The tent is a tool that we are using for this season in her life.

 

So again, I will say, I know nothing.

 

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I know nothing too - Oct. 23, 2006

Shared by Meredith_in_Aus
Oh, Kendra! I totally understand where you are coming from. I used to have people coming to me for advice (still do, actually, but now when they ask, "I don't know how you do it!" I often say, "You should have seen me/us yesterday" or "Some days I don't do it at all..."), but now I'm almost embarrassed to give them any advice as I often feel that I'm just keeping my head above water with six from just-turned-10 down to 9-months.

There are still standards there, for sure, but being radically out-numbered tends to force you to make slight alterations in execution (and, no, I don't mean executing the dominion-oriented four-year-old male with the poochie lip...). I am really struggling with all these changes, though. I feel like I'm losing my grip on any hope of an orderly existence. (Or maybe I'm just a control-freak...who uses way too many parentheses).

Do you ever feel like a grump just through the sheer volume of instruction you need to issue in a day? (Not to mention the repetition involved. eg. "Shut the door behind you" to child number 1, then number 2, then numbers 3, 4, and 5 (#6 can't quite walk yet, although he can lick the flyscreen)). Am I crazy to hope for sweet family read alouds where I actually get to read a paragraph without an interruption to tell someone to pipe down?

Anyway, back to your original point. I have learned that a high-chair seatbelt is a necessary *tool* if you have more than one child and that gating off a play area is a wise thing to do when your attention is spread between children. These tools don't replace training, but they certainly help you get other things done. Who'd have guessed how much wisdom was needed to be a mum (especially a mum of many)?

In Him

Meredith
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What's a crib tent? - Oct. 23, 2006

Shared by Anonymous
Never heard of it - maybe I'm behind the times... our "baby gear" is old now! We have some "sleeping" issues with our 2 y/o son and this may just be the answer.

Thanks for all your incredible insight and honesty on your blog - I don't "know" you but I certainly glean much inspiration from you every day. THANK YOU!
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Untitled Comment - Oct. 23, 2006

Shared by reformingmama
I could cry to think of hitting that stage with our now 19-mo. old son. I keep thinking, "how long is too long to keep him in his crib?!?!?" Our other two transitioned from crib to bed right around 2 years of age, but this one, oh... he will give me troubles. I know it. Thus, I'm happy to read this about a crib tent (though I've yet to see one; can you post a picture?). Glad to have that idea in my 'back pocket' for when we enter that stage... :)
~Stacy
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Untitled Comment - Oct. 23, 2006

Shared by Dana
I was laughing and had to read it out loud to my brother - expecting his first.
Not laughing in a rude way - but in the "I get it" way.
Your honesty showed how much you do know.
Your a wise woman Kendra.
PS Mike posted his answer to your question in the comments of that entry
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Untitled Comment - Oct. 23, 2006

Shared by Corin
LOL! I'm too chicken to say "I'll never" anymore. The Lord has too good of a sense of humor for me to say that!

My last was "I'll never seperate my children at naptime, they'll learn to sleep together without talking and playing"

Now I'm afraid I'll run out of rooms before they outgrow their naps! LOL
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Untitled Comment - Oct. 23, 2006

Shared by momco3
I have a friend who used to say, "I had no children and many theories about parenting. Now I have many children and no theories!"
Amen to that. If I had a friend with a crib tent, I would have driven over to get it.
Where's that verse that says I praise God from my bed (Psalm150?)?
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I know nothing either - Oct. 24, 2006

Shared by Anonymous
I have seven children and they range in age from 8 to 15 month old twins and I am so pleased to hear I am not the only one!LOL I too had so many plans of how I was going to be the best mom in the world and I would never do or need certain things when I had children. Oh well, LIVE and learn and pray for more sleep......
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I know what you mean...... - Oct. 24, 2006

Shared by AussieinAmerica
I only have two kids, but I still feel that I know nothing!! What a thought I knew really did diminsh with the second one. I remember hating the look of those "leash" contraptions. But when I flew across the country alone with a baby and a toddler I used it!!
I always appreciate your ability to be honest. It helps me know I am not alone! :)
Thanks.
Stacy
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Right On! - Oct. 24, 2006

Shared by Copperswife
You know, to know you know nothing is really knowing a lot. You know?
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Untitled Comment - Oct. 25, 2006

Shared by timbuck2mom
I hear you. I have 6 kids, ages 16 to 11 months. People think I must have all the answers but I believe parenting is the most difficult job in the world. To know how to handle every situation, the different personalities... it's a job to big for me! I need the Lord's wisdom.

My brother-in-law has a saying that is SO very true.

Make your words nice and sweet,
For they may be the words you have to eat.

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You have 6 children? - Oct. 26, 2006

Shared by smallwonders
How old are your children right now? Were they all planned? Do you find that people are criticle of your family size? I am wondering all of these things b/c I don't have many friends with large families. We have 5 and it is funny to me that everyone including our parents are constantly worried that there may be a 6th on the way. So what. What is it to them really ? So I just wonder what your thoughts and feelings are on the matter.
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Kendra Fletcher is the homeschooling mom of seven, all of whom have either been, currently are, or soon will be preschoolers.




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