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Sep. 9, 2008
I'll tell you this one thing, just to give you some context...
... It's a horrible movie.
Thanks, Ninja, for the opening line. It is entirely appropriate.
The movie of which I speak is called Ghost Rider. It's about Johnny, who trades his soul to the devil (Mephistopheles, but I'll call him Satan) in order to have his dad healed of cancer. Basically, after that he has a miserable life performing cheesy stunts for billions of people. The jumping of his Harley across a football field with 6 hovering black hawks was cool, I'll give him that. But that's only until he finds out he has to kill the son of Satan and turns himself into a flaming skeleton riding around the city on a flaming bike.
There's the background. Charming. Now should I mention the plot flaws? There might be spoilers. Not that you want to watch the movie anyway. I give it a -3 out of 5, and I love action movies. This was terrible.
*cue dramatic music* Johnny's supposed to be able to kill people by making them feel the pain of all the people that they've ever wronged. That's his greatest power. So when he comes up to the son of Satan, called Blackheart, and says, "Look into my eyes" (in an OTT dramatic, growling voice), the whiny Blackheart says, "I'm not like my father. I'm not weak like him."
At the end of the movie, Blackheart has been infested with the soul demons of an entire town. He calls himself Legion, for they are *inhale* many. *rolls eyes* Whatev, dude. Johnny stares into Blackheart's eyes and proceeds to kill all the souls in him, because they were so overcome with guilt over their evil.
That all makes sense. It's not any sort of wonderful, but it makes sense. However, when all the demons had died, Blackheart fell over dead, too. Now, didn't he say he couldn't be harmed by Johnny's laser vision? The demons should have all died, but not him, too. That just doesn't really match up...
Okay, so very end of the movie. Johnny and his girlfriend (who... is married? I think?) are standing there looking at Satan, and the Satan guy says, "You're free to go now. I have no more need for you." And Johnny says, "No. I'm going to keep being the Ghost Rider, and I'm going to keep trying to save people from your power." Which is a little high and mighty and completely stupid.
But did ya'll notice what Blackheart said? He said that he couldn't be killed by Johnny unlike his father. So why didn't Johnny just stare at Satan and make him shrivel up and die?
Did I mention that Blackheart looked like Elvis? He did. *snicker*
People should ask me to proof-read their movie scripts. Then we would all be saved from Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3, Ghost Rider would have been deleted upon idea formulation, and Lord of the Rings would be a much better representation of those fabulous books. And Orlando Bloom would NOT be in them!
*steps delicately off of soapbox* |
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Posted by 
Sep. 9, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Ryan saw Ghostrider. He had no idea what it was about either and trusted his companions (there is a moral there). And I trusted his companions too, as they were teens (older then he) of upright standing and delightful folk. Ryan learned his lesson. He came home and said it was a terrible movie. He now knows to do a little research before squandering his meager funds for other trashy films.
I agree with POTC 2&3. Oops. With 3. I don't think I've seen 2 (lucky me!). LOTR is about as good as it gets, however, with portraying the books, if a person tries to keep in mind that perfectionism is "bad show" and literary license helps keep cost down so we can enjoy the film. :-)
I agree that it was not true to the books (but in some cases very THANKFUL that it was not). Those long, boring songs and poems in elvish I skipped in the books. (I skipped them in English, too). I'd hate to have to fast-forward them on the DVDs! It's rather like having to endure (or fast forward) the USS Enterprise's unending trip through the V-ger cloud on ST the motion picture's extended DVD. Puh-lease! If you're going to add 15-20 minutes extra footage, please add something that means something. The visual SFX of the 80s doesn't do much for me.
Speaking of sci-fi, have you seen SG Continuim (forgive spelling). All our favorite guys are back: Jack and Baal, etc. It was a fun ride. The Ark was boring, but the new one is great.