The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you love.
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Wow, 10. And, no, I have no inclination at all to read the others. How many have you read/intend to read?
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Miss Jocelyn sent me an email with ponderisms. I feel it is my duty to answer them as best I can. And, given the recently depressing topic (which has gone even further downhill since that post...), I am quite glad to distract myself. Thank you for your encouragement. Now I'm just really irked.
***
Can you cry under water?
Only if you're in the ocean. If you're in fresh water, the tears could upset the water system and you could be sued.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
How important does the media think they are?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in' . . But it's only a 'penny for
your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Taxes on thinking!
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
I don't reckon you'd get 'stuck' anywhere in Heaven.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
So you still get a square meal.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
like every two hours?
They were the ones who had nannies and nurses for their kidlets and slept on the other side of the mansion. :-P
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
DUH! Because movies are DVDs and VHSs, and so you are inside the plastic/metal tapes and discs. When the regular TV displays your image, you aren't in a little black box or DVD. You're standing there on a radio wave, so, therefore on TV.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
Because they forgot to bring binocs and climbing gear.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Because no decent human being should eat toast! (I am against anything crunchy in the morning.)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
I dunno, but Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, and no one understands how he could pick something that was already pickled. And not only that, but Moses supposes his toeses are roses, and we all know he supposes erroneously. Why doesn't someone tell him so? Heavens to Betsey! That poor ragged rascal running round and round the rugged rocks! Someone should stop him until we can find out why!
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
I sure wouldn't want to be the policeman who pulls them over...
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because it would have ended the TV show.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
Some dogs just gotta be a little different.
If Wile E Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he
just buy dinner?
Getting there is half the fun. (Although Cayellis would say it's all the fun.)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know...
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*sigh* Think of every movie with a moron in it. With the exception of Get Smart, isn't the moron always on the *bad* side?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't. :-P
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
No, because Miss Jocelyn is sweet and amazing, and Miss Laura and Miss Katie should go meet her. She is a kindred spirit, not to mention my strange friend (inside joke having to do with the birthday card she sent me). :-D |
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Jun. 26, 2008 Is *all* of my family disappointed with me?
My extended family, I mean. I know my immediate family isn't, but it's my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) that I wonder about.
Today, my cousin was saying that he was disappointed with girls. He said the perfect girl is extremely nice, has French manicured hands with the white-tipped fingernails, has mascara and make-up, wears tight shirts, and tight jeans. I might fit *one* of those. He didn't know I heard him say that. So later, he asked me what I was thinking. I told him that I was thinking about what he said in regards to girls, and I asked him if he was disappointed with me. His answer was, "Sometimes." I know he thinks it's terrible that I don't paint my fingernails and be 'pretty' like he wants.
Now, it's not just him that I get 'disappointed vibes' from. My aunt tells me that a top education is everything, and when I say that I'm not going to college after this next year, she gives me a 'disappointed vibe.' She was trying to convince me to be a lawyer or something like that.
Then when I mention that I'm going to be a novelist, everyone just sort of deflates and gives me a look that says, "And here I had such high hopes for you. I thought maybe you'd be smart, but I guess not. Great. Now I'm going to be related to a dreamer."
I don't really mind that much that they're not happy with me. Okay, I do mind a lot, but it doesn't dissuade me from this. I'm a conservative Christian, so that might be part of why they think I'm just a little bit 'meh' to start with. But it would be nice to know that there's someone out there backing me up on this... *sigh*
I hope Mom reads my blog today... (she doesn't generally read it)
Heh, this is what I get for being home alone in the evening after a long day in the hay field. Really tired + Slightly emotional + Alone at night = Blog rant! |
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Warning: The Punmaster is about to become very excited.
YAY!
FINALLY!
*screams* *hollers* *dances around*
Bet ya can't guess! Go ahead and try! Okay, okay, since my birthday is next week, Mom is taking my book to Staples to get printed. All 299 pages on paper. I cannot stress to you enough how exciting this is! Four years of working hard (okay, three were hardly working...) might just be coming to an end soon. *grin* I will lock myself away somewhere with a red pen and some chocolate and go through LM again. Whew! Then I'll write a pitch for it and pester all of my author friends to help me find a publisher. :-P I don't have an agent, so it won't be easy, I think.
Anyway, everyone have a round of root beer! :-D |
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Another thought before I forget it.
Miss Laura was discussing pictures with me a long time ago... probably three or four years... And the fact that we are happy, nay, overjoyed to find pictures of our great-great-grandparents and treasure the picture, even though everyone's frowning, and invariably one of the children appears to have just swallowed a lemon. But if we were to see a picture like that of ourselves, its next home would be the trash. Why did we keep the old one that's warped and half-faded?
It's because something's value always goes up the less you have of it. That's true of anything, including the one pink Tupperware bowl that I'm told my brothers and I fought over when we were little. Allow me to apply this rule to something else.
I can tell you for a fact that we have at least six Bibles. I could not tell you where all of them are. On a shelf somewhere, I suppose... Now, some missionaries I know went to (I think) Fiji. They were telling us about an elderly lady that they had given a Bible to. It was the first one she had ever had. She was so happy she put the Bible into her shirt and held it as tightly as she could. It was the Word of God, and she knew its value. She probably still has that Bible with her.
Now I'm going to go find the Bibles around the house. I don't know where I will put them all, but I can assure you they won't be under a pile of junk when I'm done. Where are your Bibles at? |
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Jun. 19, 2008 Man vs. Wild part 2
Okay, so continuing my post on Man vs. Wild vs. Survivorman.
I have come to the conclusion that MVW is for people who want to watch a good show and aren't particularly interested in learning survival techniques. That ain't a bad thing. I watch Stargate, and I don't really want to travel to other planets. Okay, okay, so I do, but I know it's not real, so it'd be moronic to say that I'd be first in line to go through the Chappa'ai. :-P
Er, back to the subject now. It's okay to watch MVW for enjoyment purposes. Les (the guy from Survivorman) tells you how to actually survive. And that's the only reason I watch it. Les doesn't climb up trees to 'get a better view of the surroundings', because he knows that if he falls and breaks his leg, the adventure is pretty much over, and so is he. He doesn't pour water into a hole in a rock to make a compass and then slurp a little of the water back out of the hole. That is stupid! The compass thing was cool, drinking the water was not. I watched that and thought, "He just finished saying that he had to get down to the bottom of the canyon because he was just about out of water, and now he wasted what was left because anyone can look at the sun to see directions..."
And Bear's accent is entirely too much for me to listen to for an hour.
So, two shows for two purposes. And I'm sure Miss Laura would not watch either one. :-) |
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Jun. 18, 2008 So I have three jobs now...
Four, actually... If you include writing novels.
In the mornings, Jon and I work in the garden for Grandpa. In the afternoon on Mondays and Tuesdays, I babysit, and on Wednesdays and Thursdays, I do housework for Grandma. So as a sum-up of events:
Gardening is (for me) really hard work. I'm so sore now, not to mention the fact that all the walking is making my bad foot act up again... I have to walk on the side of my foot now. But I will persevere. Because I have to. Yesterday, we did the second half of the corn. So we were digging holes and transplanting. Well, I stuck my hand in the dirt that's mostly rotten manure and felt something slice my hand. Upon rinsing off said hand with the hose, I found that I'd managed to cut an inch-long cut up my finger. Phooey. Grandpa said that if I show up without gloves on again, he'll fire me. Now I just need to find some boots that don't have giant holes in them.
Babysitting is really cool. I still can't get over the fact that I'm being paid to play. It's just... weird! I do have educational activities planned among the playing, don't worry! I am going to refer to my girl as "Sari". I would have called her Andi, but I already call someone else Andi. :-P
Sari is 10 years old and quite the little cowgirl. I knew we'd hit it off when I went into her room and saw an elk's skull on the shelf above her bed. Hehe! She thinks the WORLD of David, who taught her in the after-school program this spring. Apparently David was so cool that she figured his sister had to be just as cool. I dunno 'bout that. Anyway, we've been having a great time. I'm thinking about reading the Circle C books aloud to her. What do you think of that, Andi? Good idea?
Sari tried to teach me to play Guitar Hero. I failed miserably, but oh well... I was never good at games, anyway. And I was introduced to The Cheetah Girls and a few other miserably mind-numbing kiddy TV shows. The TV will not come back on if I can help it. There are MUCH better things to do than watch that stuff. *gag*
And then, of course, two days a week I have dusting, vacuuming, mopping, and minor landscaping for Grandma. That's not too hard. :-)
Then I come home and work on my book.
What are your summer plans, guys? Anything really exciting? |
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Jun. 13, 2008 When the Mom is away...
The children will play. Except for the one who does the housework. :-P
And I am so tired... Yesterday I did at least 10 loads of wash. I got on a rampage and started washing all the clothes scattered on the boys' floors, blankets, towels... Yeah. Lots of things got cleaned yesterday. Also, I cleaned my room most of the way. Miracle of miracles.
[I should stop typing now because apparently I'm too tired to spell things right on the first try. But I will make it through this post.]
Writing update: Even though I can't seem to spell, I've gotten a wonderful push forward by Nate. He made a passing comment, and suddenly I had an opening scene in my book that I liked. That's even more of a miracle than the bedroom. It may take me a week to clean my room, but it's been 4+ years since I started this novel, and now I actually like the beginning. Woot. No, I'm really excited. My lack of exclamation points is because I am too lazy to push shift+1. Now I just have one plot hole to sew up and do a line-edit or two. Whew... This is such a long process...
I did write a song called "Forever Keep You Mine" if you want to go read it. |
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Jun. 10, 2008 Man vs. Wild Jun. 6, 2008 Mom... All three of them?
In the tag below, I was asked to come up with seven statements about my mom. So I did. And I wrote them about my actual-real mom, Ruth.
But there are other people that I jokingly call Mom. There's Suzy, whom everyone knows already, I think.
Then there's Jody. Or JP as everyone around here calls her. Well, except me. I call her "Mom". She's funny; she's a little crazy; she's just all-around awesome. She's the egotistical, super-liberal history instructor at my college. And she will admit that she is egotistical. In fact, in her syllabus, she said, "And try not to leave class early. It doesn't do much for my ego." What other instructors have that? Very few or none, I reckon.
"Mom" thought that my brothers and I were just the cat's meow, so she 'adopted' us. It embarrasses David no end, Michael just rolls his eyes, and I think it is so much fun.
You should see the looks on people's faces when I say, "Hi Mom!" and she replies, "Hi Honey!" We don't look similar at all, for starters. So the students other wait until she's gone, and then they ask me very quietly, "Is she really your... mother?" No... :-P
On the subject of her being slightly crazy... Her class syllabus also says, "In case of confusion, come see me. I will try to add to it." Add to the confusion? Uh... thanks...
She's also known for always having a Coke.
I'm going to miss her this summer, but I will be back in the fall to haunt her with chocolate-covered dill pickles... Which actually aren't that bad... |
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Jun. 4, 2008 Syd tagged me!
7 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Get some books published.
2. Get married (once).
3. Have kids (many).
4. Speak German fluently.
5. Meet Jess, Jocelyn, Mary, and Syd.
6.
7.
7 Things I CANNOT Do
1. Run very well.
2. Sing bass (can anyone say "duh"?).
3. Live without chocolate.
4. Wear shoes smaller than 9 1/2.
5. Juggle (yet...)
6. Ride a horse (wretched beasties)
7. Understand the girls at the college.
7 Things That I Love About My Mom
1. She can do EVERYTHING! (And she does, which is why she's never home...)
2. She laughs at my jokes. Well, when she gets them. Sometimes everyone just kinda... stares at me.
3. She is the most fantastic cook.
4. She can sew anything.
5. She is a computer geek. :-)
6. You can't complain about her. The girls at college (the ones I don't understand) whine about their parents. Me? No way! I got the best!
7. She watches baseball every night.
7 Things I Say The Most
1. Guten Tag!
2. Huh?
3. Oops...
4. We ARE the geek squad.
5. When in doubt, eat chocolate.
6. Yo...
7.
I don't tend to talk more than I have to.
7 Movies I Could Watch Over And Over
1. Star Wars
2. Return of the Jedi
3. The Princess Bride
4.
5.
6.
7.
And I don't tend to watch movies more than I have to.
7 Books I Love To Read
1. The Bible
2. The Faery Choir
3. The Hobbit
4. The Two Collars
5. The Fellowship of the Ring
6. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
7. The Seven Sleepers Series (Yes, I know they're by Gilbert Morris... But I like them...)
Me not tag others. They tend to not like it. If you like it, by all means steal the tag! :-)
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Jun. 3, 2008 A writer's strategy
I broke out the notecards this week after telling Jess I would. (that was your cue to go read Jess' post on notecards) And I began writing down scenes for the next novel I'm writing. After hiding in the canning room for several hours (I'm convinced it's the only quiet place in the house), I had my cards done. Well, not entirely, because there needs to be something here and something there to fill out the story, but I've got the bones. Which basically means I can sit here at the computer, holding my baby novel in my hand.
It's weird.
Anyway, last night, I started putting pieces together that I've already written. I've never done anything remotely like this before. With the last book, I just sorta went, "...And today this person shows up, and they're a pirate..." (If you don't get that joke, just ask The Ninja about Pirates of the Caribbean). Now I have a structure! I know what's happening! Yeah!
So I'm happy about this project. I'll start real work on it as soon as Lyric's Makari is finished. That is so close I can taste it. And, by the way, it tastes like beef and dill pickles. Just in case you were wondering. |
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"Mawwige is what bwings us togevah today... Mawwige, vat bwessed awwangement. Vat dweam, wivin a dweam..." And enough with the priest from The Princess Bride. :-P
Jeff and Ashley got married! Yay! Wahoo! :-)
As I mentioned in the post before, it wasn't going to be a usual wedding. We all sat down at tables and waited. The idea was that Jesus would come for his bride at a time that even he did not know. So we waited for Mr. B. to give Jeff to word to go collect his princess and bring her to the wedding feast. Jeff had, of course, a satin cape that the Punmaster sewed for him. Ashley... was gorgeous. No, you all have no idea. She is amazingly beautiful. :-)
They had a wonderful program that was all set up with the fathers giving blessings and they did the vows themselves. It was very touching. As part of the symbolism, Ashley's dad gave Jeff a sword. I think he should call it Anduril. It looks like Anduril. When it came to the kiss at the end, Jeff tossed the edge of the cape over Ashley. It was ADORABLE! Anyhoo, then there was a lovely lunch and then Jeff and Ashley sang a song they wrote while she played her harp. Yes, she plays the harp.
And now you all must go watch THIS VIDEO with the song we all sang at the end. In Christ Alone. |
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May. 31, 2008 In honor of Jeff's wedding today...
PROGRAMMING JOKES! Hehe!
But first, congrats to Jeff (my childhood hero) for finding one of the most wonderful, beautiful, sweet, young ladies in the entire world to marry. :-) I'll fill you in on the wedding... well... after it happens. It's going to be amazing, 'cause if any of you know Jeff, you know it ain't going to be normal or traditional. :-D
From what I hear, it'll be closer to what I envisioned a full Makarian wedding to be (how nice of one of my loyal readers...). Anyhoo, enough blather.
Jokes:
A computer without COBOL and FORTRAN is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup or mustard. (John Krueger)
If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. (Robert Sewell)
Using Java for serious jobs is like trying to take the skin off a rice pudding wearing boxing gloves. (Tel Hudson)
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. (Paul Ehrlich)
There's always one more bug.
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. (Milton Burle)
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk? (Stephen Wright)
The computer is a moron. (Peter Drucker) (funny, I thought I came up with that one...)
And my personal favorite:
if(pot.coffee=EMPTY) {programmer->;brain=OFF}; |
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May. 27, 2008 Prayer request for Miss Laura
Hey everyone! I would really appreciate prayers for Miss Laura. She's been sick for... years now, and apparently now she might have something more than just Lyme disease. Ha, I said 'just' Lyme disease! *smacks hand over mouth* The very idea. Anyway, she is getting an ultrasound on Tuesday to find out more.
Please keep our sweet sister in your prayers, as well as her brother, Zach. This Lyme disease stuff is really getting them down.
***
I just got these emails with another prayer request. It's for a gentleman my friend's friend knows.
"What has happened to Jay is an aortic aneurism. Few people are known to survive this condition. Rather than rupturing, which would have killed Jay instantly, his aorta tore on the inside from his neck to the groin. Due to the many hours without oxygen, a specialist was called in to evaluate organ damage. The surgery done on his aorta was successful but portions of his bowel had died, so they removed the bad portion and sewed the healthy ends together. The doctors thought that his kidneys were functioning but there is now question about that. They are planning to operate this afternoon to re-evaluate organ damage. He is in intensive care and on life support. There is a 36 hour waiting period before they bring him to semi-conscience. The big question is what other areas of his body suffered from lack of oxygen, including his brain, which they believe that he might have had a stroke. That is a common occurrence being under anesthesia for such a long period of time, i.e. NINE HOURS performed by 3 Doctors. It's a miracle that Jay is still alive but the next 24 hours are critical.
*
The last we heard was good. There was bowel tissue yesterday that didn't look good and looked better today. They are keeping Jay sedated but wake him once a day to give him a break and check responsiveness. This morning he responded to all verbal commands. They need to reconnect his intestines but are waiting until Thur. to let Jay regain strength before operating again. He lost over 2/3 of his small intestine - only 80 inches left. If they need to remove any more, it will compromise normal functioning (requiring a feeding tube). That's the biggest concern right now. The other organs take longer to display deterioration. By tomorrow or Thursday they should have a better assessment about the other organs. He is currently very stable and things look good."
And we got an email saying that our senator just had a massive heart attack. So if you could keep Miss Laura, Zach, Jay, and Dan in your prayers, they and their families would be very grateful. |
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May. 24, 2008 This report just in!
My dad and brother just brought my little brother (Jon's 14 and nearly 6' tall, so 'little' is just age) home from his friend's house with a hole punched into the side of his knee. Apparently he hit something with the bike he was riding and fell off.
So, Jon is in a chair with his face almost completely white, while Dad and Mike are working on him (they're EMTs, of course). Jon never did this whole 'blood' stuff. He said he almost fainted when he saw the hole in his knee.
He might have me entertain him playing Halo this afternoon because he isn't allowed to get up. If I do end up playing, it will be quite entertaining.
In regard to the previous post, apparently our copier is also a fax machine. Mike came in and I said something to the tune of, "Miiiiiiiiiichael! Our printer is schizophrenic and thinks it's a telephone!" Him: "It's just the fax machine." Me: "Oh... I knew that..." Yeah. So. Fax machine. |
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May. 24, 2008 One ringy-dingy...
*scratches head* What in the world? Our brand new printer/copier is... ringing. Like a telephone. Now a message just popped up on the screen saying "Telephone off hook". DUH! (sorry) There's no phone there! I think I'm going to just step slowly away and pretend this never happened.
Creepy.
Yikes. |
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May. 21, 2008 Elvish Mischief
"So they laughed and they sang in the trees; and pretty fair nonsense I daresay you think it. Not that they would care; they would just laugh all the more if you told them so. They were elves, of course. [skipping] Dwarves don't get on well with them. Even decent enough dwarves like Thorin and his friends think them foolish (which is a very foolish thing to think), or get annoyed with them. For some elves tease them and laugh at them, and most of all at their beards."
That is from The Hobbit (pages 58-59), in case you have not committed all of my favorite novel to memory.
When did Elrond laugh in the LOTR movies? When did Arwen, Galadriel, Celeborn, Haldir, Legolas, or any other elf laugh or give any indication that dwarves might think them foolish? They didn't. They're all a bunch of stiff, elegant, over-noble, pessimistic, frowning trolls!
And the trolls! *slams fist on table* Oh, don't get me started on the trolls ("Too late," everyone groans)! Bert, Tom, and William were not these big, ape-ish, thick-headed monsters who lumber around with huge maces going, "Mwuuuuuuuh" and breaking everything in sight! They were able to talk and roast mutton and tell that Thorin was the dwarf with the yellow stocking and discuss making pies! They had magical purses that squeak when they are taken out of their pockets. Which means they had clothes! *bashes head on keyboard*
Whoever came up with the LOTR movies obviously never read The Hobbit.
Whoever cast Orlando Bloom ought to be shot. My poor Prince Legolas... At least he didn't try singing the Song of Nimrodel.
And I'm not going to watch The Hobbit when it comes out. I will hide in my room with the book, read it to myself aloud (with a perfect Robert Inglis accent), and all will be well with the world.
*curtsey* |
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...Because I was bored...
| Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical |
 You blog like no one else is reading...
You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose.
Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily.
But if they disagree with you too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll! |
What's Your Blogging Personality?
Do I, really? Long winded prose? Hmm... And, for the record, I've never pulled someone from my blogroll.
I don't really have a blogroll, but that's entirely beside the point.
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