(This post is mostly copied from my other blog that no one reads, anyway. I just did it over there first so I wouldn't have to bother with Imageshack.)
Unfortunately, Mom ran away with the camera to read one of the books I got after about 10 minutes. So I only have two pictures from the book signing. They are...
Wayne Thomas Batson, signing my book! Which I started reading on Sunday as soon as I got up and took it to the college with me every day this week. Just about everyone at the college who knows me has now heard of Wayne Thomas Batson. Heh, I tend to give lots of free commercial time.
I believe he signed Ryan's to "Sir Ryan the Swordmaster." Had I known Ryan would bring his sword and assassin blade, I would have dressed up, too. Ya'll could probably guess that I seriously considered it.
He is also the one who did that fantastic dramatic reading that made me buy the rest of his series. Like Mr. Graham said after I asked him if he was going to read, too... "How could you follow that?" I don't know if anyone could. None of it got on the Motiv8 video, though. Phooey!
Oh, look back at that picture. See Jonathan Rogers there at the edge? This is a random observation, but his costume was terrific! I'd never considered gray furs in a costume, but that was awesome. His books looked really interesting (Okay, all the books there did...). If I was rich, I would have bought all of them. As it was, I came home with only 7 new books.
Speaking of Mr. Graham, Mom got a picture of him signing Zach's book:
I don't have to give him commercial time... He's pretty popular 'round here. We chatted for a bit about Christan fiction and then the end of Beyond the Summerland. *grin* It was, indeed, a very good ending. A maddeningly good ending.
And now a link to the video they made of the day. I'm in it at least 3 times (in the last third of the video, about The Salt Shaker).
You can see the sword fight on the video, too. That was fun. The camera guy had to dive for cover at one point (watch the video until the very, very end and you'll see it).
A bonus picture, because I'm feeling generous. :-)
Susan Marlow and I going over my novel after she'd bled on the first 70 pages:
Notice the red pen she's holding? Yeah...
That's about it for now. Thanks for visiting! Say, I hope it's not too late to throw this in as a Show n' Tell. I'm going to run over to Mary's and enter it quick!
Miss Katie remarked that I haven't blogged very much recently. You might be glad about that.
It is an odd week. A very odd week. Yesterday, I was sitting in the college (yes, college) cafeteria with Joey, Joe, Ryan, and Donald. Joe was distracting Ryan while Joey was trying to pull Ryan's hair with a pair of pliers and Donald was throwing Ryan's unwanted pickles around using the tines of a plastic fork that had been pretty much demolished. Then Joey almost jumped out of his chair when he got zapped by my cell phone when he picked it up, and Donald stole Joey's phone while he was looking at mine, so Joey was trying to pick Donald's pockets to get it back... I laughed for an hour straight. Yep, that's my gang.
On a more serious side (*cough* Me? Serious?), I think I sang my highest note ever on Monday in Choir. And I can't tell you what it is, because... well... I don't know. It's the note that's above the little line thingies and there's kind of a line through it... Yeah, nevermind. I'll have to ask someone who actually knows about music. :-P
But that comes later. First I have to chatter a little. :-) Yesterday was amazing! Side note to everyone I will be seeing at Church today: Chances are good that I will be repeating all of this to you in person. Therefore, you might want to go find something else to do so you won't get bored when I start dumping the story-telling on you later.
First, we drove all the way up to a dear friend's house so she and I could talk about my novel. She's editing it for me (For free. She usually charges $1,200 for that kind of job via Winepress Publishing). There are lots of thing that need to be changed, but she says it has potential. Cool! And the blood-spattered pages weren't too painful. It was actually really fun.
Then Mom, Mrs. Marlow, her son, and I went to a book signing. There were 10 fantasy authors there, and I actually ended up buying seven new books. Two of them did dramatic readings from their books. The first one stood there at the railing and read... it was kind of boring... Then Wayne Thomas Batson was up. He's an amazing actor. He came prowling through the little crowd with this huge green cape billowing around him, acting out both the part of the boy and the dragon. You could see how much he loved the story! I had to buy his books after that. It was just... wow. He signed them to "Lady Jennifer the Pure," "Lady Jennifer the Strong," and "Lady Jennifer the Wise."
I asked LB Graham lots of questions about his books, writing in general, and the ending of book 1 (which apparently got TONS of people mad at him). He was really nice. I didn't have any of his books yet, but all my friends sent theirs with me. I came in lugging this big box of books and getting stares from everyone as he just kept pulling out book after book... :-P It was great. I did buy his whole set. Correction: MOM bought the set and gave them to me. I thought we had agreed that I was pitching in $50. Afterward, she wouldn't take the money, saying that she had gotten them for me, not with me. My mommy is awesome! :-D
And then the sword fight... Christopher Hopper and Wayne Thomas Batson did a demonstration of how swords sound when they're clanging together. So Mr. Hopper (whose head is shaved) declared that this was his kingdom and everyone who entered had to have their heads shaved. Mr. Batson happens to like his longish hair. So they decided the settle this argument by fighting a duel. *grin* So that went on for a few minutes. Then they said maybe they should settle it by taking someone out of the audience and shaving them.
When I was looking at Mr. Hopper's books just after that, he said that I would have been their first choice for the head-shaving! :-P (for the record, I have waist length hair)
We got back around 11 to find that my brothers had invited three of their friends over to spend the night. So I jabbered about my day to the visitors. They'll actually listen to me. My brothers said, "Ugh. It's like a Wizard Convention only with authors instead of geeks." and walked away.
And that was the end of the day! :-) Yay!
I must also mention Ryan, Mrs. Marlow's youngest son. I hadn't seen Ryan since he was, um... 10-ish? Now he's taller than me! And his voice got so deep! And... and... That just ain't right. People are growing up on me. While we were at the bookstore, all the little girlies were hanging around him, ooh-ing and aah-ing over the sword he brought along ('kay, not just the sword). I stood off to the side and laaaaughed... "You look sorta like Eragon," one girl told him, and if she'd fallen over in a dead faint, I would not have been surprised. Hehehe! But of course, the sweet little Punmaster didn't tease him at all about it... *innocent gaze at ceiling*
*translation: Today was absolutely amazing, but it's getting late and at the moment I'm too tired to talk about it. You have not heard the end of this post made up of Squee, though! :-P
For my Show n' Tell with Mary, I have this video that is actually a snippet of my favorite cooking show, Good Eats. It's about how to make a Scottish Haggis. :-) Enjoy...
Welcome to the Punmaster's Palace again. In today's Show n' Tell with Mary, we will explore a wildlife park which the Punmaster went to a week ago.
Most of the pictures were taken from a tram.
This is why the Punmaster loves Washington State. SO gorgeous!
Doesn't this elk look fabulous?
And a cougar! Because the Punmaster loves cougars. Look at those eyes... She just want to pet him...
And now the series you've all been waiting for! The snake! Only this one was on the trail! The foot beside it is the Punmaster's younger brother's... Don't be fooled into believing this is a small snake. Jon has size 14 shoes. And this little guy is MAD!
Yes, Andi, the Punmaster's dear mother took those pictures... From a good long distance away. That was an exciting trip! Now the Punmaster is going to travel out into the world and visit some other bloggers who have things to show and tell.
Can Herman Li and Sam Totman score 100% on Through the Fire and Flames in Guitar Hero?
Okay, so maybe that wasn't so deep. Gives you an idea of my mood right now. The funny thing is that I can be completely wired and still look as boring as if I was... normal.
As if I was ever 'normal'...
For the record, I did try Guitar Hero. Not TtFaF/Dragonforce, though. It was Slow Ride/Foghat on easy and slowest speed... and I failed miserably. *shrug*
First off, if David ever announces that he's going for a run in the woods, don't volunteer to go with. Resist the urge to say "Sure!" with all of your might! We ran up the hill. Translation: We ran for a while and then I walked. So he walked. And we went waaaaay up. I almost died. It was like Legolas and Gimli running up the mountain while they're chasing after the Uruk-hai and the Hobbits. Only Gimli is the one with beautiful, long hair. "Keep breathing! That's the key! Breathe! Augh!"
For the next part of my day, I must show you a picture:
Aerial view of my house. I was down at the end of our driveway, which is off the picture to the left, about as far away again as that stretch of driveway.
About a half-mile to the south, two C-17s flew by about a minute apart. Three or four of them go over every day, so it was really nothing special, but I waved to them anyway (wildly, like some sort of freak), bending back so that I could catch as much light as possible so they might see me. They flew by...
I went back to juggling green apples. Then I looked up, and a third C-17 was dropping down between the hills right over my head. It was so close it was insane!
Imagine this flying straight at you:
Yeah. And it looked just as big as that. It was amazing. Have I said that before? It was awesome. And I doubt it was coincidence. I mean, a military cargo plane dropping half a mile out of formation and it just happened to be over me after I waved?
Too cool... If you could see me now, my eyes are still about as wide as plates. It was... amazing. I hate to beat the word to death, but... You should have been there! I wish the girl I mentor had been there.
HOO-AH!
And now for some dark and mysterious events...
Tonight. Jon went out after it was dark to go snoop on the critters out in the north 40. Michael, David, and I went out to freak him out. We trekked down the hill and down the driveway (commando-crawling)... The stupid dog came running up to us then and started burying her face under me and totally giving us away. It was fun while it lasted, though.
Once we got back up to the house, the boys decided to go back out again. Midway through this post, they came bursting in the door announcing that there was a bear or cougar down on our neighbor's woodsline!
So we all went back out (Dad, M, D, J, and I) with flashlights and necessary equipment should we encounter a foul beast (I think you catch my drift...). It wasn't there when we got down there again. Shoot. :-/ I really wanted to see a cougar. Or a bear...
That was a long day... I'm checking out now... Good night!
I impressed David today. I got my books for college, and he was thumbing through my math book thinking to himself, "Jen is never going to be able to do this. She's going to need so much help..." He asked me, "What's the square root of negative 144?" I said, "12...i" Proving that I know what the square root of negative 1 is.
Ha.
And I'm now the proud owner of 6 quarts of raspberry juice that will become jelly tomorrow in half and quarter pints. :-) Yeah, we'll have a lot. :-D
Canning. Nuff said? Today, we picked enough raspberries for pie filling and jelly, made tomato sauce, tomato juice, dried tomatoes, canned blackberry juice, canned raspberry juice, made pickles, and froze a thousand pounds of corn.
It's now 9 pm... We just had dinner... Why am I on the computer? I dunno...
Good night...
(Edited the next day to add that we also did apple cider. Forgot about that one.)
So you want to learn to tat. Okay, cool. I'll show you the necessary equipment to send you on your way.
Now, it's important that you have the right attitude when starting this craft. Like many other crafts that are difficult to master, it helps to be just a tiny bit crazy.
When you can manage to make your face look like that, you are ready for step 2. Getting the shuttle:
Notice what I added to the picture to show the scale of the shuttle? That's not by sheer coincidence, by the way.
Of course, no one accused the Punmaster of doing ANYTHING the easy way, so she had to continue this tradition and build a shuttle. Out of maple wood.
Now that you have the shuttles and a crochet thread (or if you want to be proper, you'll buy tatting thread), you are ready to begin.
First, shave off all of your hair. It'll save you the pain of pulling it all out while you're learning.
At first, you'll make things that look like these:
Yeah. Exciting. The Punmaster thought so, and at this point, she was about to say, "Um... So I'm going back to knitting now..." But her friend, who was the one who wanted to learn how to tat in the first place, was insistent that the Punmaster figure it out more. So she did.
And now she can make things like this:
A bookmark and various kinds lacey things. Now, keep in mind that these were free-handed. The Punmaster's friend has the instruction book and all of the patterns...
So that is what the Punmaster has been up to recently. If you want to see what other people have been up to, go visit my dear friend and SEiC, Mary aka Canadagirl for more Show n' tell posts.
I'll tell you this one thing, just to give you some context...
... It's a horrible movie.
Thanks, Ninja, for the opening line. It is entirely appropriate.
The movie of which I speak is called Ghost Rider. It's about Johnny, who trades his soul to the devil (Mephistopheles, but I'll call him Satan) in order to have his dad healed of cancer. Basically, after that he has a miserable life performing cheesy stunts for billions of people. The jumping of his Harley across a football field with 6 hovering black hawks was cool, I'll give him that. But that's only until he finds out he has to kill the son of Satan and turns himself into a flaming skeleton riding around the city on a flaming bike.
There's the background. Charming. Now should I mention the plot flaws? There might be spoilers. Not that you want to watch the movie anyway. I give it a -3 out of 5, and I love action movies. This was terrible.
*cue dramatic music* Johnny's supposed to be able to kill people by making them feel the pain of all the people that they've ever wronged. That's his greatest power. So when he comes up to the son of Satan, called Blackheart, and says, "Look into my eyes" (in an OTT dramatic, growling voice), the whiny Blackheart says, "I'm not like my father. I'm not weak like him."
At the end of the movie, Blackheart has been infested with the soul demons of an entire town. He calls himself Legion, for they are *inhale* many. *rolls eyes* Whatev, dude. Johnny stares into Blackheart's eyes and proceeds to kill all the souls in him, because they were so overcome with guilt over their evil.
That all makes sense. It's not any sort of wonderful, but it makes sense. However, when all the demons had died, Blackheart fell over dead, too. Now, didn't he say he couldn't be harmed by Johnny's laser vision? The demons should have all died, but not him, too. That just doesn't really match up...
Okay, so very end of the movie. Johnny and his girlfriend (who... is married? I think?) are standing there looking at Satan, and the Satan guy says, "You're free to go now. I have no more need for you." And Johnny says, "No. I'm going to keep being the Ghost Rider, and I'm going to keep trying to save people from your power." Which is a little high and mighty and completely stupid.
But did ya'll notice what Blackheart said? He said that he couldn't be killed by Johnny unlike his father. So why didn't Johnny just stare at Satan and make him shrivel up and die?
Did I mention that Blackheart looked like Elvis? He did. *snicker*
People should ask me to proof-read their movie scripts. Then we would all be saved from Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3, Ghost Rider would have been deleted upon idea formulation, and Lord of the Rings would be a much better representation of those fabulous books. And Orlando Bloom would NOT be in them!
Writing almost 30 pages can give you a headache. I found that out yesterday. I just got into the zone, and I couldn't stop! Well, I did stop for Sarah Palin's speech. Wow. I adore her. But then I went back to writing and pounded out another 1000 words before bed.
I was at 2500 words before going down to pick beans for dinner, and I'd thought that maybe I'd be lucky and get all the way to 4K before bed. Actually, I hit 4K before dinner. Then 6K before 10 when Mom sent me to bed. I was so happy. And tired.
*laughs* This is fun. I'm at 80 pages now for this untitled novel. No, no one is going to get to read this one yet. I'm going to be evil and keep it all to myself. Mwahaha!
But, first, thanks to Miss Laura for my 1001st comment. (Ya'll talk to me too much, yanno that? Man...)
If you weren't here for the first part of this, go check out THIS POST first. Otherwise, this won't make much sense. ;-)
Anyhoo, here are the lines, titles, and what I think.
1. "High, high overhead the horse circled slowly, majestically." - Ariosto, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. Thus began a book filled with mostly adjectives and metaphors. And bad punctuation. I couldn't even finish it.
2. "I, Cleopatra, Princess of the Nile, write this in my own hand." Cleopatra VII Daughter of the Nile, Kristina Gregory. The opening is kind of bland, but I loved the book.
3. "Kate O'Malley had been in the dungeon since dawn." The Negotiator, Dee Henderson. Hey, she's got an Irish name and the book's got a dungeon in it. Miss Laura could tell you that I have a thing for dungeons and prisons in books. And this is a modern, FBI novel.
4. "When twelve-year-old Andrea Carter brought her golden palomino mare to a skidding halt near her favorite fishing spot, she expected to find a bubbling, splashing creek full of trout just waiting to be snatched up for supper. Instead, she found a dead man." Family Secret, Susan K. Marlow. That is a book I would definitely read, because how many writers have a 12-year-old find a dead person in the second sentence? It strikes me as daring.
5. "During the night Detjens died and the rest of them were almost glad." The Sands of the Kalahari, William Mulvihill. That line made me buy the book (for 25 cents...). Honestly. The cover is completely tan, there's no summary, I was at a garage sale, and Mom was leaving. I saw that and said, "Woah!" However, most of my blog readers would not want to read it. Ask me about it if you're interested in reading it and want to know why I'm not recommending it.
6. "Shiloh was not an easy place to locate, even with a road map." Shiloh Autumn, Bodie and Brock Thoene. If I'd not been required to read this for school and two of the characters had awesome names (Ellis and Birch), I wouldn't have gotten through it. It was a completely boring and predictable series. Not to mention that Ellis threw hissy fits too much.
7. "Sergeant Eugene Skinner, USMC, ran a baleful eye over his honor guard detachment." Stargate Retaliation, Bill McCay. Something about this hit a nerve, and this book was actually the motivation behind the last post. It's not professional enough for me for something military. First, there's the first name thrown in. Sergeant Skinner would be called Sergeant Skinner through the rest of the novel, and we'd forget the first name, anyway. It's extra information, and it throws off the whole cadence of the sentence. Then... "baleful eye". Meh. I was not impressed. And, no, I did not read any more after that.
So that's it. But I'll steal what Jess said in her comment, because I can't say it any better:
"I want a first sentence to hook me in with conflict or a sense of character. Most of these sentences don't do that. But I won't ever judge a book by one sentence. It could be a one-paragraph whopper, you know? I still want that opening line to perform well, but I give it leeway; it may need help. Not everyone is the next Tolstoy or Austen."
Except that I hate Austen. *ducks and flees from irate Austen fans*
I'm going to put out a small test for you guys. No, there's no reason for it at all. I'm just curious about what you'll say. Here are the first line or two from a few books picked from my bookshelf, pretty much at random. My goal is for you to read the following 7 opening lines and tell me in a comment if you think you would like to read the book. Bonus points if you know what the book is. Ready? Go!
1. "High, high overhead the horse circled slowly, majestically."
2. "I, Cleopatra, Princess of the Nile, write this in my own hand."
3. "Kate O'Malley had been in the dungeon since dawn."
4. "When twelve-year-old Andrea Carter brought her golden palomino mare to a skidding halt near her favorite fishing spot, she expected to find a bubbling, splashing creek full of trout just waiting to be snatched up for supper. Instead, she found a dead man."
5. "During the night Detjens died and the rest of them were almost glad."
6. "Shiloh was not an easy place to locate, even with a road map."
7. "Sergeant Eugene Skinner, USMC, ran a baleful eye over his honor guard detachment."
Why is it that girls who love horses are called cowgirls, whereas girls who love cows are just... girls who love cows. Why aren't we called cowgirls and they called horsegirls?
This is what happens to the Punmaster when she has too much sugar. (note: this was written several days ago and I thought to post it here when Miss Laura's brother started acting... weird... after Church because he had coffee) (another note: the mathematical idea of Pi is 3.14. That is important here)
So, *ahem* The infamous meme of a hyper Punmaster:
***
A - Available? Sorry, I'm booked through next week. Could you try back then?
B - Best Friend(s)? Tito. My wonderful calculator. We're engaged and the wedding will be on March 14. (March 14 = 3.14 = ____)
C - CRUSH? Dropping pianos crushes things. At least they do in comics...
D - DOGS NAME? "Dummy" (usually, unless I'm feeling generous, in which case it's "Stupid".)
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO? Joshua. He never says anything back at me and is just so supportive... just as long as I keep food in his bowl. (My little Joshua be a kitty)
F - Favorite Food? Anything that's not still screaming.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS? Worms! You can put them in your mouth and make them slither in and out... Grosses my brothers out. :-P
H - HOMETOWN? A little patch of nowhere in the middle of... nowhere.
I - IF YOU COULD MOVE WOULD YOU? Move where? Like from here to the kitchen (er, more specifically the coffee pot)? Sure! Anytime!
J - JOB? I babysit the most awesome 10yo you will ever meet. She is SO cool! Today we went up in the woods hunting for bones, we made candy... It was fun.
K - KIDS? What about kids? I love kids! We have two named Calvin and Hobbes. Well, they're not really kids anymore. We got them a year ago, and they're pretty well grown. (kids = baby goats, btw)
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE? A drive from Washington to Arizona to North Dakota to Washington. It was a long ride in more ways than many.
M - MILK FLAVOR? Raw.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS? 3. Wait, do we count the almost-brothers? That would be about 7. So I practically have about 7 brothers.
O - ONE WISH? To finish this quiz and get to finish eating dinner.
P - PHOBIA(S)? Revolving doors! Eek! We hates them, Precious! They're wicked little things that try to eat your feet when you walk through.
Q - FAVORITE QUOTE?
MacGyver: -verb
The act of building something (usually explosive) out of handy arts supplies. (Example: I was locked in a titanium cupboard and had to MacGyver my way out with only baking soda, four thumbtacks, and a chocolate Crunch bar.)
R - REASON TO SMILE? There are many reasons to smile! For example, when you hit your brother square in the back with a water balloon, THAT is reason to smile.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD? Summer of '69, by... Bryan Adams?
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP? 5. Then 6. Then 7.
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME? I'm weird. Wait, that's not unknown...
V - VEGETABLES YOU LOVE? Ooh... Um... hmm... Asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, beets, beet greens, Swiss chard, green beans, wax beans, peas, carrots, lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, celery... *goes on and on forever*
W - WORST HABIT? Talking about food too much. Did I mention I'm in the middle of dinner? Taco soup. Wonderful stuff. :-)
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD? I'm pretty sure they X-rayed to see if I actually had a brain. Turns out I didn't.
I've always been looking for a song with my name it. Mom said she always sang Jennifer Juniper to me, and I do like the song, but Donovan pronounces my name in French: Zhenifah. And all the other songs about Jennifer say: Jennifah. I guess the 'fur' at the end doesn't lend itself to music very well. So I'd nearly given up hope finding a song with the furry part of my name intact.
And then...
In 1973, John Denver (who happens to be my favorite singer) sang a little song called "Zachary and Jennifer", and I finally found it this morning. Enjoy. :-)
This post promises to have Miss Laura and Miss Katie in stitches. Oh, well... I'm excited.
Grandpa has promised me a present this coming spring. My very own Angus/Semental/Jersey heifer, who will be a milk cow eventually. I am quite excited about this, because I'm going to do something special with this little gal. Miss Laura can tell you I'm excited about the idea, because I actually told her about it. (It takes a lot for me to talk about something)
Grandpa and I are going to find or make an ox cart for her and I'm going to train her to pull it.
If anyone wants to volunteer some name suggestions for her, I'm trying to find the right one. Right now I'm thinking about Yulia (Russian form of Julia).
Having a work cow had always been a dream of mine, and I am very, very happy. Before ya'll ask, no, I am NOT willing to get a horse for this job. Nasty, springy, nervy creatures with legs that are waaaaay too long and spindly. Give me a nice, solid cow any day.
You have entered the blog of a farm girl, unpublished novelist, avid knitter, life-long homeschooler, and Punmaster. Feel free to leave a comment, even if you're not an HsB blogger! *wink*
