I have trouble saying no.  Sometimes people can't say no because they are people pleasers and just don't want to disappoint.  All too often, I fear saying no because I'm afraid noone else will say  yes.  Particularly those things in which I feel very passionate about. 

Like today.  All my community-minded friends are abuzz with the news that the Planning Commission intends to vote on the following items tomorrow night:

1.  They want to more than double the density of residential development county-wide where there is sewer -- public or private.  (Yes, believe it or not, there is such a thing as private sewer.  It's called sand filtration, and it can best be described as a very large kitty litter box.  Lots of really big kitties get to use it.)  This assumes, of course, that the only reason why there is low-density housing in rural areas is lack of services.  Uh, no -- it is because these lands are defined by a contract under a state law called Public Chapter 1101 as "rural" and not "urban."  Oh, and because "sprawl" is a very poor planning strategy.

2.  They want to remove the limitation of total square footage in Rural Arterial Commercial (RAC) properties.  This would make it identical to a commercially zoned property.  Currently, you can't have more than 10,000 sqft combined out in the country.

3. & 4. They want to increase the maximum height of buildings by 20 feet.  Guess someone wanted to slide another story into their apartment building.  Also, where you could previously put an apartment complex only on 4 lane roads in the county, they want to relax that to 26 foot roads.  There are 189 of them in the county.  Ugh.  Hopefully, they mean only in a certain area they want to claim as "suburbanizing district."

So I had umpteen calls from people asking for things like a 1.) speech (said yes, immediately regretted it), 2.) official position statement (said no, felt good about that), 3.) a commission resolution (said no, felt guilty about that), 4.) a write-up explaining the whole thing (said no to that and felt REALLY good about it), and a few more little things. 

Meanwhile, baby is teething some new razor blades to nurse with; opening my desk drawers and gleefully yanking out files full of papers and throwing them everywhere (and protesting loudly when his new "treasures" are removed from his tightly clenched little fists); and trying desperately to escape out of the relative baby safe area of the den and onto the staircase.  We really need to get that baby gate put up. 

So I will have to practice my no skills -- even when it is something that I very much want to be able to do or contribute to.  I want to enjoy every magical second of Baby's days without the pressure that something else needs my urgent attention.  Okay, of course I mean something else besides my other 2 sons! 

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Posted by eclecticityTia

A friend shared yesterday how she sets "boundaries" (saying "no")....she uses "the truth is"

For instance:

"I'd love to give a speech, but the truth is, I've already committed to a few other things and we have some family needs right now that can't be avoided."

I just used this, without realizing it, when asked to teach sunday school at my new church: "I'd like that but the truth is, I'm busy teaching and being around kids all week long and I really can't support the program that way very well. I'd be very happy to support in other ways though!"

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Posted by SmallWorld

I was thinking that you must be about to blow through the roof when I read that article this a.m. It's almost--almost--comical! Are they absolutely INSANE??

I LOVED your Dad's Letter to the Editor this morning. Beautiful.

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Posted by Tim Richardson

I am glad there are people like you who say yes sometimes. It's a difficult balancing act no doubt.

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