This is the worst week I've experienced in probably 18 months.  I watched wonderful, well-intentioned people maligned publically, where they weren't able to defend themselves.  I've heard people's voices twisted in anger instead of peacemaking (including my own).  I saw the inevitable rush of people jumping on a bandwagon of false information, the embodiment of poorly curbed human nature -- never even bothering to inquire about the real story. 

I lost many hours of sleep, and many hours that I could have been washed in the sunlight streaming from the smile on my baby's face.  Instead, he cried all week, just wanting my full attention.  My big boys cried out in other ways.  I wasted a week's worth of living my dream of staying at home with my children in my favorite spot here on the hill worrying about what I couldn't change. 

Meanwhile, the tiny buds on all the trees became full-size fresh nearly-neon green leaves.  Just like they did last year.  Other tiny buds became fabulous bouquets of redbuds, dotting the mountainside.  Just like they did last year.  The tiny purple wildflowers that I picked for my mother on Mother's Day as a small child that smell so fragrant emerged en masse in every sunny spot that could be found.  Just like last year. 

As my rocking chair rocks back and forth over this scene, I'm reminded that life will go on.  The seasons pass.  The children grow.  Will I spend my days stressed to the max over things I cannot change?  Or will I grab the brass ring and a few redbuds for the center of my table, and deal some cards for a stimulating game of Solitaire with my children to let them see that Mommy is as constant as the seasons, instead of a fleeting thunderstorm? 

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Posted by SmallWorld

I feel your pain, sister! That feeling of utter frustration--the inability to defend oneself amidst a sea of angry voices--is the sorry side of being a servant/leader. And another reason why council positions should be limited to 3 years.

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