When I have painful scenarios, and "fires" to attend to, I've found itcan be difficult to embrace living in the present.  Somehow, a part of me feels as if I am entitled to feeling downcast, sullen, and worried.  I feel as if by living "normally" that I am ignoring the problems.  No, worse then that, part of me feels as if I don't deserve to be happy and joyful while in the midst of difficulty.  But, see, my friends, that's just a part.  A thought.   A thought that if left unchecked has the vicious potential to alter my mood so that I do live in misery and worry.  But, that is not how I'm called to live.  I'm called to be a child of the living God.  A vessel.  Not to live in the muck of this world.

So how does that relate to ambiguity?  When events are ambiguous there is no certain answer, no clear direction.  It's uncomfortable, even painful.  Our financial burdens have created an ambiguous filled atmopshere in our home.  There isn't the planning for retirement, there is only praying for today.  We live dependant upon our Lord.  Dependant and diligent.  And living in a place deemed ambiguous by the world.  I could choose to set my mind on the ambiguity, but most times I don't.  I refuse.  I choose to set my mind on Christ, on things not seen.  Looking at the ambiguity creates anxiety.  Scripture says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)    I am to be anxious in nothing.  Even those ambiguous days of life.  When in those moments the trials of the world seek to swallow, I give them to my Savior.  Over, and over, and over.  And again.  The traces of restlessness  released  to my Lord.  He knows my needs and cares. 

How sad it would be if I "shut down" in the ambiguous times of life.  My kids and husband wouldn't have a mother present for them.  I'd miss the beauty surrounding every step.  In Proverbs it is written, "Watch your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23)  My heart, my heart, in part is my mind.  It is imparative that I keep a tab on the thoughts that rumble.  When I chose to let anxiety, enititlement, or worry rule my thoughts than I am not protecting my thoughts.  I am not setting my mind on things of Christ.  When, despite the circumstances I remain fixed and hopefully in Christ, I am guarding my mind, keeping it in check, and thus my outlook and demeanor in life.  And did you catch the second phrase of the Proverb?  "For from it (heart) flows the spring of life."  I can live fully even in the midst of trial.  I can be alive and present and hopefull. 

 May your eyes remain fixed on our Savior and may your mind rest in the knowledge of His love and faithfulness. Alelluia!

Rachel