These past weeks have been challenging.  There have been many events where I've found myself in this place of disbelief, fear, or anxiety.  Life has thrown some new curveballs, and even though I've blogged about faith I've still found mine tested and stretched. 

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair.   If there was a scorecard on fairness I'm sure most of us would believe that ours was in the red.  I've spent many hours grumbling about how this world has ripped me off.  But, seriously, is the world entitled to give me anything?  Absolutely not.  What matters in this life is my choices.  How I respond to a situation.  What my heart, my mind dwells upon.  Does my mind wallow in self-pity, resentment, or fear?  Or am I giving these thoughts, these anxieties over to my Savior?  We all know that He wants them, we are not to carry this burden. 

I've been letting thoughts rumble in my head with regards to writing a book about living in storms, living in deserts.  Life on earth is finite.  There are no second chances, no do-overs, no going back.  Even in the driest of days I desire to keep my heart lined with Jesus.  My eyes locked on His.  If I were to get to the end of my days and realize that I lived many of those years in fear, anxiety, anger, bitterness, or discontent then I know I would mourn my life.  What did I do with the time that He gave me?  It never states in the Bible that my life would be easy.  No.  It talks about the troubles, the storms, the pains.  But, the Lord is also amazing because He is constantly telling us, commanding us, to give Him the burden, to have faith.  And having faith is choosing a different response.  It is in effect, setting your mind to things that you or I cannot see right now.  The world preaches to me anxiety about finances.  The Lord tells me not to worry...."Do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind.  For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things.  But seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you."  (Luke 12:29-31)  It's not even "maybe worry a bit about finances" it is simply DO NOT.  When I wake filled with fear about money my first response should be to seek the Lord.  Simply to seek Him, to pray to Him, to walk with Him.  The world tells me that I am a fool if I don't have this, that, or everything planned the way the world deems right. The Lord tells me..."The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The LORD is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1) 

So I pray.  I ask for faith even when I can't imagine faith.  I ask for hope, for plans to prosper, for abundance.   And I also ask that the Lord, my Savior, can use me, my life.  That I can be a light to others.  That these trials have not been in vain.  That He can take the grossness of life and turn it into beauty.  I don't want to live in doubt, but on the bedrock of faith.  In James it talks about how the doubter is tossed about in the sea driven by the wind. (James 1)  So, I cling to this verse..."If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain 'move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

My dear friends, I know that many of you are in places in life where life seems to be beating you down.  Where the thought of getting through today much less next week is simply daunting.   I pray that these words were ministering to you.  When I sat down to write this morning I wasn't sure what I was to say.  I knew it had to do with faith and perseverence, but I didn't really narrow it down...I just wrote.  I pray that these words give you hope.  That they bless you, that they strengthen your faith.  Our Lord is faithful.  He will stand by you in the fiercest storm.  He will hold your hand and help you walk.  Seek Him.  Let go of your anxieties, and choose to live intentional and full of purpose.  Choose to laugh, choose to cry.  Just live.  Live for Him, my friends.  He is good!  Alleluia to our Risen King!

Blessings friends.  I apologize for the lull in my journal.  I've been doing some thinking these past weeks and felt I needed to wait to write.  Will you continue to pray for our family?  I'd truly appreciate our family being lifted to throne of Jesus.

With love and gratitude,

Rachel