Ahh...yes...the inevitable question that occurs AFTER I tell the stranger that I'm blessed with seven children.  So often I'll be at the store with just Samuel, and someone will ask me if it's my first baby.  Part of me hesitates for just a moment thinking that maybe I'll simply say yes, but then I'll reconsider and bravely admit that I am a mother of seven.  And that I love it.  And that I'm happy.  And that I'm not crazy!  After all, I'm walking around Target, with a Starbucks in hand, Levi Jeans on, and a big box of Pampers resting underneath a bulging cart. (I would think that might give a tiny clue to our family's size!)  Anyways, typically after they find out my family's size they want to know how I handle it.  Day by day.  And I tell them, it's a day at a time, and my children, all children are a gift from the Lord. 

Still, there are days when I want to throw my hands in the air and cry, "I give up."  You know the days...days when the milk is spilled-twice, when there's marker on every wall, when that math concept just doesn't make sense, when the truck doesn't start, when there's absolutely no option for lunch, a new bill, etc...  I've lived those days.  I've lived through my dh's cancer treatment, through financial crisis, through other health crises, through new babes, etc...and yet, sometimes, the toughest days are those days filled with nitty-gritty, irritating, and yet wearing, problems.  And those are the days where I've had to learn to surrender.  I've had to give up my agenda, again, and look to the Father for guidance.  Maybe it's not all that important that we complete that math page, but what is important is that I help my four year old wipe up spilled milk, give him a hug, and praise him for trying.

But how?  When I'm in the midst of overwhelm it's so hard not to operate overwhelmed.  Throughout the last several years the Lord has been teaching me that He is the priority.  He's my breath...even in parenting.  So I've started to pray throughout the day.  I pray when Samuel cries, or the boys are fighting, or my teenage daughter is frustrated with Algebra.  Do the problems go away?  Most of the time not.  But my inner mood shifts.  It shifts to an attitude that is less dependent on self, and more dependent on serventhood.  You see, I really believe that parents today are given a rare and special opportunity to raise a generation of children totally sold on Christ.  Future men and women that are willing to be Kingdom Warriors.  And training warriors takes work, time, and perseverence.  It's a time of dying to self, and giving yourself to your children.  There are moments when the last thing I want to do is read that phonics reader, and yet, I pick it up and relish the joy my six year old gets when he recognizes sounds.  We live in a culture of self.  That culture is so often shocked about the number of kids I have because it seems obvious that I don't get much self time.  And, in reality, I don't...but that's okay.  Someday these seven arrows living in my house will be gone.  I desire to look back at the years that they were in my house as years where they remember their mother enagaged, active, and joyful to be around them. 

So how does this relate to the "you have how many kids question?"  I've been quite convicted to make sure that my answer and responses to the various family-sized questions is to ALWAYS be a light for Christ.  And in that, I phrase my answers that children are blessings.  I admit that there are hard days, but I also take time to encourage that young mom with two kids.  Seriously, it was much harder when I only had my two little toddlers. So I let them know that, along with the importance of recognizing the great gift they are being given by being a mother to the children hanging off their cart.  And I tell them (if they're still asking) how my large family is a gift from the Lord.  After Todd's cancer treatment we were told that we probably couldn't have any more children.  And the Lord has blessed us with two little boys....whose names mean "gift from God" and "the Lord has heard."  He's really heard my heart these past years.  The journey has been anything but straight, and yet, he's been the one directing my path.  Man, if I had charted my path, life would have been so much messier.  And probably without these little men to raise for Him.  Alleluia to our Amazing Lord!

So whereever you are today...with many kids or just one...take time to look at your child through the lens of the Lord.  You are the perfect and chosen parent for that child.  Embrace that truth.  Lift it to the Lord with gratitude and thanks.  Pray to Him for wisdom and discernment.  Simply pray.

And, if you run into me at Target some time, I hope that my cheerful countenance brings joy to your day.  And, hopefully, you'll have some spare time to sit and chat with me in their Starbucks.

Rachel