Apr. 27, 2009 - Something Funny-from the book The Bells! The Bells! by Mark Stibbe
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said outloud, 'Lord, grant me one wish!' The sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice , the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you 1 wish.' The man said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supporst required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for wordldy things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me.' The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, 'Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry,what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make women truly happy.' The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?'
Bill has always been a prankster. As each of his friends got married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming. Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married.' His recepyion wasn't disrupted by streakers or strippers, and the car that the couple were to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order. When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflake in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that they had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed. upon waking, the couple were ravenous, so Bill called down to Room Service and said, 'I'd like to orderbreakfast for two.' At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, 'Make that five.'
CHRISTIAN BOYS' CHAT-UP LINES
1. 'Nice bible.'
2. 'Is this pew taken?'
3. I just don't feel called to celibacy.'
4. 'For you I would slay two Goliaths.'
5. 'I would go through more than the book of Job for you.'
6. 'Shall we tithe?'
7. 'At points in my life I have been refered to as Samson.'
8. 'The bible says, "Give drink to those who are thristy, and feed the hungry." So how about dinner?'
9. I didn't believe in predestination until tonight.'
10. 'I believe one of my ribs belong to you.'
A woman accompanied by her husband to the doctor's office. After his check-up, the doctor called his wife into his office alone. He said, 'Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband can die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch, fix him a nutritious meal. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your stress; this will probably make him feel worse. If you can do this for at least ten months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completley.' On the way home, the husband asked his wife, 'What did the doctor say to you?' The wife turned to look at her husband. 'Your going to die.'
The speaker at a women's club was lecturing on marriage and asked the audience how many of them wanted to 'mother' their husbands. One member in the back row raised her hand. 'You want to mother your husband?' the speaker asked. 'Mother?' the woman echoed. 'I thought you said smother!'
I sure did enjoy laughing. There's plenty more where that came from. The fabulous book is called The Bells! The Bells! And it is written by Mark Stibbe. It's a great book.
Comments
Apr. 27, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CerealKiller
AIM is Aol Instant Messenger, which allows you to chat with friends. Pretty much like facebook chat, except that it's been around longer and has more features.
Yeah, ever since facebook I've been feeling like "BLAH I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ABOUT MAH LIFE"
May. 4, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by sharla88
HAHA I love the "Christian boy" one how funny!
Yea, I remember that it's this weekend....but that does not mean I have anything yet! LOL Get your mum something nice!!!! :)
GB~
Sharla~
May. 10, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Starlight
I am doing great! You can see some of what I have been up to on my recent post. How has your day been?
~*Starlight*~
May. 15, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Starlight
Cool! I have been working at a sale all day! My feet hurt! LoL What have you been up to today?
~*Starlight*~
