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Sep. 2, 2006
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her..." Proverbs 31:11
Husband Encouragement Challenge: Day One
I am actually typin' this out at 2:49 am on Day two! Ugh! I commited myself to this challenge and am already draggin' behind. Boy is that a bad sign. LOL!
Part of today's 30 Day Challenge asked if I ever told Carl "thank you" for choosin' me. This is somethin' that I've never struggled with too much because I have always felt unworthy of this awesome man from the get-go. While on occasion, I did look at him and think, "Okay, so there must be somethin' really wrong with you to want to be with me," most days I'm just so deliriously happy that he is here, steady and strong.
This week has been a particularly stressful week, yet there is always beauty to be found where you least expect to see it. If anyone ever doubted Carl's devotion and love for me, this week would put all matters to rest. The incredible roller coaster I've ridden, goodness, I don't think there was an emotion I haven't experienced this week. Yet here he is, my place of rest and peace. When my mind would spin out of control, he was right here to remind me of what was important, what was true and noble and good and praiseworthy and excellent.
As I reflect on my gratitude that Carl would choose me, I realize too that I do a disservice to my husband by refusin' to see in me that which he finds worthy in me. So many times he will tell me, "You look beautiful," and my first reaction is always to put myself down, "No, this dress makes me look fat." "Ugh, I can't do anything with my hair!" "Where are your glasses? I haven't even put my make up on yet?!" (Uh, Carl doesn't need glasses by the way). If he praises an accomplishment or a talent, I'm so quick to dismiss it with a wave of my hand and a "No, it isn't that great."
I'm not sayin' that I "deserve" his love or have earned the right to demand it. Far from it. What I am sayin' is that I need to learn to see me how he sees me, to trust that he does find someone precious to him. Removin' the focus from all that I find unworthy in me of his love, to the trustin' in the fact that he just does, frees me to express my love for him with gratitude and joy, rather than fear or obligation.
This 30 Day Challenge will be interestin' for sure. As I said a couple posts ago, it is quite possible that I will be givin' birth to our fourth blessin' sometime this month, so that may interrupt my intentions of bloggin' each day durin' the challenge. There has been other "stressors" added to both Carl and my plate this week, distractions at work and at home that are provin' to be a bit difficult to navigate all at once as well. While the pessimist in me is tempted to throw up my hands and say, "Hang it!" I know that the times in our life when the fire burns hottest are the times when God is really at work doin' somethin' truly miraculous.
So regardless of any "curveballs" we might be thrown this month, I'm determined to keep my focus on lovin' God through lovin' my Beloved!
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12
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