|
Sep. 8, 2006
ARGH! I'm full of good intentions...
...it's the execution of those intentions that really trip me up! Here I said I was gonna try to blog everyday and I've missed four days! Eeeeeek!
While I haven't blogged, I have been continuin' with the 30 Day Challenge at home, so I'll try to catch up on some thoughts that I've had throughout the past 4 days...
Day Four:
Do I take my husband's career for granted?
Oh indeed I do! What a terrible thing for me to gripe about Carl's job. The Lord has blessed us richly durin' our time in the military and for me to say one ill thing about it is pure shame. Yes, there are struggles, yes, it is certainly no fun when he gets a four day notice of deployment, yes, it is a definite challenge when he is sent away six times in one year. There are politics and duties that can make life...not fun. However, I remember what our life was like before joinin' the military.
Blessings received through service:
1. God saved Carl in Basic. (HELLOOOOO! The biggest blessin' of them all!)
2. I was able to be a stay at home mother.
3. We learned about homeschoolin' at our first base and since I was already a SAHM, I didn't have the struggle of leavin' a job/career in order to do it.
4. We would not be at the church we are at now without the military. I am learnin' so much and growin' so much, as is Carl.
5. In a depressed job market, we do not have to worry about a roof over our heads, food in our belly or Carl's salary bein' wiped from us in a moment's notice.
There are many more that I could name, but these are enough for me to keep my trap shut about the negatives and praise God for the wonders of His grace.
The other part of the challenge talks about appreciatin' his work and not "dumpin' on" him at the end of the day. I used to do this. I used to complain about the kids, leaky faucets, whatever the second he walked in the door! I would say nasty things like, "Boy, I wish I could go to work, come home and do nothin' for the rest of the day!" YIKES!! For a time, it seemed like Carl had somethin' goin' on every night of the week. One night it was gamin', the next it was Volleyball, the next it was soccer and then next it was pool tournaments, still allowin' him some "wiggle room" to squeeze in college courses three nights a week! You can imagine the amount of "harpin'" that Carl was subjected to, poor fella.
Then one day, Carl looked at me and the look in his eye was frightenin'. He wasn't angry, he wasn't upset, he was just...there. There was no warmth, there was no fulfillment, no joy. What he did, he did out of obligation, because I told him to, not because he wanted to, not because he loved me. I had nagged, complained and stressed all the love out of him. I knew that day, we were headed for divorce if somethin' didn't change and since he wasn't willin' to, that somethin' was ME!
Praise is so powerful! Contentment is inspirin'! A kind word, a smile, a flirtation, all these things build up Carl and encourage him in more ways than a million nags. I learned that as I showed my appreciation, quit gripin' about the kids and worked on trainin' up right durin' the day, quit gripin' about the house and just get it cleaned already, makin' our home an invitin' place to be, where he will receive honor and joy, not condemnation and lectures, the more he wanted to be around! Whoa! The more he enjoyed my pressence, the more he wanted to relieve the responsibilities that would take me away from him, so the more he helped out with the kids and the house!
We are brainwashed these days into thinkin' the way to get what we want out of life is to "demand our rights", at least in marriage, this is very far from the truth. I have gained so much since layin' aside my pride, my demands, my "I deserves" and bless the socks off of Carl, whether or not he is "worthy".
Day 5: Praise
Do you praise your husband to other people?
Very few things put a spring in my honey's step like when I praise him to others. Many times it does embarrass him and he may even tell me, "Don't brag on me so much." But there's this glitter in his eye that tells me he loves it...craves it.
It wasn't always so. I used to bag on Carl to my friends, my family, I'd complain about his bad habits to his mother. FOR SHAME!! I justified myself because I wasn't gosspin', it was the "truth". Carl began to distance himself from my friends and others because he felt judged by them, whether or not he was, and some of my friends were terribly disrespectful to him and I thought it was funny. Horrible! Once again, I was creatin' a barrier between us. Carl had his friends, safe from my waggin' tongue and I had my friends which he avoided like the plague.
Praise God, He convicted me of this treacherous sin, but it took far too long for me to figure it out. Nowadays, I just love praisin' the socks off Carl and quit speakin' ill of him to anyone. I do have the counsel of Godly women to help me when I'm really strugglin' with somethin' in our marriage that I can't quite seem to work out, women with solid marriages that are bearin' sweet fruit. They are women that I can trust will not judge Carl and they do not ever engage in any kind of bashin' language, in fact, the focus of their counsel is always what *I* can do, not what Carl should or shouldn't do. Carl knows these women, and knows that I may on rare ocassion confide in them, but he also knows that their counsel is trustworthy and free from judgement.
I'll have to finish catchin' up tomorrow...The kids are up and my beloved is comin' home real soon for an impromptu "breakfast date". Wooo hoooooo!
|
| •
Post A Comment! •
Send to a Friend!
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
