Everyone seems to have a point where the number of children you have brings you to a Crisis Point.  It is that moment you realize NOTHING will ever be the same.  It is that day you wake up and realize life cannot go on the way it has been.  For many of us, it was the day we became bonified MOMYS (Mothers Of Many Young Siblings--meaning you have 4 children 8 and under.)

There is also a Crossover Point.  A point where you realize that you have acheived a certain amount of success w/ what seemed like an insurmountable number of children and could go on to have an indefinite amount of children w/o batting an eye.  (Well, maybe an occasionaly bat here and there, but definitely not an eyes-closed-fumbling-in-the-dark kind of bat of the eye!)

For me, this number was number 4.  I was so excited to finally be achieving true MOMYS status (I had been dreaming of the day for 5 years!), that I never really grasped the REASON there is a MOMYS digest and forum in the first place.  Running a household with 4 small children is a whole different ballgame.  It is twice the number of children that most Americans have.  Most cookbooks are written w/ the typical family in mind.  Most appliances are built w/ the typical family in mind.  Most organizational websites/books/magazine articles are written w/ the typical family in mind.  When you have 4 children you are suddenly FAR from the typical family.  With 3, you can still pretend you are a small family and make most recipes work and not tax your appliances too much and even find the average organizational tips helpful.  But once number 4 is here, things that worked for years suddenly no longer work.  Recipes are just too small.  Appliances can't handle the workload.  Organizational tips become laughable.

For a time after I brought number 4 home, I wondered what I had done.  I wondered if I would ever find a groove.  I realized NOTHING I had done before was working.  I couldn't possibly wash one day a week and get by with it.  I was scared to go out of the house even with my husband along to help, let alone attend a homeschool function ALONE with all 4!  I couldn't even get dinner on the table w/o a series of minor crises.  I was stressed and scared.  

To quote my friend Sarah, I "disappeared for a while."  I layed low, waiting for the storm to pass b/c I had no idea what else to do.  Survive, Survive, Survive became my motto.  When baby K was about 4 months old, I finally realized I had to Live, Live, Live.  I knew the way I was doing things had to change, but every time I assessed the running of the household, I would become overwhelmed. 

And then I became pregnant with number 5.

What once was a crisis became a turning point.  No longer could I sit in indecision--I had to stand up and get moving.  Even if it turned out to be the wrong direction, at least I was heading somewhere.  I could always turn around or take a different path if I saw that what I was doing wasn't working.  I had to start asking questions of other mothers who had been there and done that.  I had to find what worked for them and try those suggestions out.  I had to stop digging my heels in to keep from sliding backward, and actually start putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. 

So, this is where I am now.  Assessing life as a LARGE SMALL FAMILY and moving toward life as a SMALL LARGE FAMILY. 

I doubt that I'll ever feel as if I've "arrived."  My friend with 9 children continues to pick the brain of her friend with 12 children.  I will always find something new to learn.  There will always be little tidbits of information to gather from those who have been in the trenches.  However, I hope someday to get a call from a young mother who wants to pick my brain about how I run my household b/c she likes what she sees.