My husband goes around singing this song ALL the time.  Honestly, I've never actually heard this song...other than from out of the mouth of my own dear husband.  He sings it anytime anyone talks about getting a haircut, needing a haircut, just got a haircut, etc.  Well, lately it has been ME who has been tossing around the idea of getting a haircut.  However, the thought is absolutely TERRIFYING.

You see, about 6 years ago, I cut my hair short.  REALLY short.  It was spikey in the back and a little longer in the front.  It took massive amounts of DiFi Dstruct to keep it in place.  DH's cousin was in beauty school at the time and that particular haircut was all the rage, so I did it.  DH was gone on deployment and I was in need of some entertainment--getting my hair and nails done all the time was my entertainment.  But, after a bit, I began to feel convicted to grow my hair out.  You may wonder why...well, the reason is a simple one.  I was getting sassy.  VERY, VERY sassy. 

Unfortunately, I struggle greatly w/ the link between appearance and attitude.  What I look like has a profound influence on how I behave.  (Someday I will blog about my days wearing dresses only and how THAT particular look affected my behavior and attitude).  This particular haircut sent me into the realm of sassy-mouthed teenager.  So, God dealt w/ me.  I grew it out, but in a moment of weakness, cut it off again---I cried all the way from the beauty shop home.  I started over that day and have kept it long ever since.  I do cut several inches off every year or so (I have extremely thick hair that grows extremely fast.  It ends up giving me a headache if I let it grow too long and don't have it thinned), but it has stayed rather long all these years. 

In addition to that, it has truly become a part of who I am.  I feel as if it is part of my crunchy, granola mom wardrobe--the chopsticks in my hair or the messy half bun, the bohemian shirts, the wooden & stone jewelry, the baby in the sling--it all works together--it's all part of me.  I have even made peace w/ the greyish-white streaks that have been slowly making their appearance since my early 20's.  It goes too--call it natural highlighting!

I know DH did not like the short haircut (he has told me so since), and I know he doesn't dislike the long hair, but he has been hinting for quite a long time that he REALLY REALLY liked the haircut I had when he and I first met.  (mind you, that was in high school!)  What was that haircut, you may ask???  It was a chin-length bob.  AND my hair was blonde--not brown as it is now.  AND my hair was straight, not curly as it has become since the children have been born.  But, nonetheless, DH would every now and again say, "Sometime why don't you cut your hair in a bob again.  I'd like to see that."

Until recently, I had just ignored his comments.  I liked my hair long.  Wouldn't short hair send me back into the sassiness I lived in before?  Besides, hadn't God convicted me to grow it out???  But, guess what...God has been working on me again.  If this is truly something my husband wants to see on me, then in submission, I should cut it.  I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, and neither am I the same person I was in high school (praise the LORD!). 

Through the conviction of growing my hair out, God dealt w/ my sassiness.  Now it is time for me to work through a different issue by the conviction to cut it.  That issue is my reliance on my hair to make me who I am.  I am afraid of not being me w/o the long hair.  My hair has become so much a part of me that I don't feel as if I can do w/o it.  And as silly as this sounds, I am almost afraid that w/o it, I won't be as crunchy.  In fact, there was even a time when I thought long-hair made you more spiritual--yep, working through that one too!

And then there is the issue of actually having to fix my hair! LOL  That is another thing that has happened in the past few years--a pony-tail or messy bun is quite common unless I'm going out.  I don't wear makeup real often either.  I know dh likes to see me put together, and I feel better when I am dressed nicely and have my hair fixed.  Cutting my hair in a bob would force me to fix it.  I couldn't just throw it up in a pony-tail every day.  Of course, once you fix your hair, you feel like putting on something a little nicer to wear, and once you do that, you might as well put on some makeup. lol

But all these fears pale in comparison to the sadness I feel at the thought that my dear sweet husband may somewhere deep down inside, where even he may not realize it, feel as though he has lost the woman he married.  He loves the granola mom I have become over the years, but that mom is quite often so wrapped up in being a MOM that she forgets to be a WIFE.  He used to flirt w/ the girl w/ the bob haircut.  She used to flirt back.

I truly believe God is calling me back into my wifely role.  I have neglected that person of late.  By cutting my hair, I am signalling a refresh.  I am outwardly showing my husband that I am committed to him, not just his children.  I am still that crunchy granola mom slingin' her babies, but I am ALSO that crunchy granola WIFE who's lovin' her husband!