Raising Arrows

Feb. 16, 2008

Today ~ Moving Forward

Today is not an easy day. After nearly a week of people crowded in my house and around me, I feel numb. I am hiding here. I am so lonely for Emmy, but I want to be alone w/ my memories of her. I went and hid in my mother-in-law's office last night, so I could have a moment alone w/ my thoughts and a pen and paper. Here is what I wrote:

***********************************************************************************

I would not move forward if it meant leaving Emmy behind. I don't know how anyone can pretend a child never existed, take down their pictures, remove their things.

I have 5 children. I will always have 5 children, until the Lord blesses us again--then, I will have 6. It grieves me, though, to think how others will look at our family and not see Emmy. They won't know someone is missing. But, she is there...a beautiful, precious piece of her lives on in each member of my family.

I will not pretend I have 4 children. I will not pretend my Emmy-girl never existed. Anyone who asks about our family will come to know her name, her story, her testimony.

No, I do not leave her behind and "move on", I move forward, with all 5 children--one running a bit ahead...just out of sight.
Post A Comment! Send to a Friend!

Comments

Feb. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by MamaArcher
thank you so much for sharing. I am weeping with you. You have been in my prayers daily!

Kristine
Permanent Link

Feb. 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous
Oh, Amy, I am so sorry for what happened to Emmy. You have been in my family's prayers everyday. I cannot imagine the grief you must be feeling. I lost my 9th baby at 14 weeks gestation last November and I will always say that I have 9 children. Emmy isn't in your past, but in your future. I like to think of it like they have just gone on a trip that we will get to join them on someday. Our seperation is only temporary--thank You Jesus!

I read a book that I would like to recommend to you. It is called "Safe in the Arms of God" by John MacArthur. It really helped me.

Bless you,
Cindy
www.anarmyforthelord.blogspot.com
Permanent Link

Feb. 16, 2008 - Prayers

Posted by layla7
I just found your blog about 2 weeks ago. When I returned the other day, I was grieved to read about your daughter. You and your family are so heavy on my heart. You are daily in my prayers.
~Layla
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - God Bless You

Posted by Anonymous
I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. You are in our prayers.
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - Praying Hard

Posted by Raesfamily
My prayers are with you. I'm so glad that you have those moments where you can write and remember.
Blessings,
Rachel
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous
"No, I do not leave her behind and "move on", I move forward, with all 5 children--one running a bit ahead...just out of sight." I think this is so good to hold on to.
Karen(Texas)
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - We're praying for you {{{Hug}}}

Posted by imwalkingonwater2


Ever since I've read about you and your beloved and beautiful Emmy last night, I have been thinking about you and your whole family! You have been/are deeply on my mind and my heart goes out to you so much.

When I read what you said:

"No, I do not leave her behind and "move on", I move forward, with all 5 children--one running a bit ahead...just out of sight".

I just want to tell you that I love and admire your spirit--to me, you are such a reflection of our Heavenly Father's Grace, Power and Wisdom!

Please know that our entire family are praying for you and your entire precious family and I can not even imagine what you are going thru!

PLEASE let me know how else I may help you besides praying. Though I don't know you at all, I want to tell you again that I LOVE YOU so much in the Lord!


{{{We Are Praying & Thinking of you & your family}}}

Tammy

Edited by imwalkingonwater2 on Feb. 17, 2008 at 11:33 AM
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - :(

Posted by Master of Dungeons
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Jeannie
Your family is in my prayers, No you shouldnt have to move on but just like you say move forward, she was a child that was given to you for just a moment and you loved her, the Lord knew that... Bless you dear friend and fellow mom, Empathy is your pain in my heart...

Jeannie
homesteadblogger.com/OklahomaSweetPea06
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - Always

Posted by hugabunchmom
Yes, You will always have five children. And the four still on this earth will always have their sister. May none of you ever forget. I just know God will use this in so many ways, as He already has, but I still cry for your tremendous loss and we are praying like crazy for your beautiful family. Thanks so much for sharing.
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - Thank you!

Posted by luvs2bemom
I have had you and your family in my heart and prayers ever since I heard about your beautiful baby girl. I am so thankful that you have chosen to share your experiences with us. Even through your pain and loss you are helping so many people. Your strength has helped me greatly. I just wanted to say, "Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful baby."
In Christian love,
Belinda
Permanent Link

Feb. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Dusti
That is beautiful.. Emmy will always be your 5th child. Hearing your thought.. how you will move forward.. is precious to me.. It has been a privilege to lift your family up before the Father in our prayers.
Permanent Link

Feb. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by sagerats
Beautiful and so true.

Abiding in the Vine!
Permanent Link

Feb. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by BeccaBeard
God bless you. I am so sorry - I just can't imagine, and wish I knew something really good to say that would help you get through this time.

God LOVES you.

Love,
Becca
(from the QuiverFull blogroll)
Permanent Link

Feb. 19, 2008 - Thinking of You

Posted by AthaSchool1
Thinking and praying and wishing for you a time to be alone with your thoughts as you recover from this loss. May God give you the greatest peace and strength to carry on for your family at this time.

Love in Christ,

Michele B. Atha
Permanent Link

Feb. 19, 2008 - So sweet!

Posted by Tosha Tanquary
Amy, I just wanted you to know that the service meant so much to us... what a sweet sweet service! We were blessed to be there... We think about you all and pray for you daily!
I understand what you are saying my heart is saddened for you!
If you ever need a listening ear, drop an email and I'll give you a call... I may not be able to do much since I am so far away but I can listen!!!
Love ya sister!
Tosha Tanquary
Permanent Link

Feb. 20, 2008 - You are so right!

Posted by deedeeuk
She WILL always be a part of your family! I have never lost an older child but I have five babies living in Heaven's nursery after miscarriages. It is so hard to say I have two children when really I have seven! Sometimes I say two here on earth! Other times, I do give the short, simple answer when I just don't have the strength to explain what I mean and what happened to us. I just wanted to say that if you - one day down the road - find yourself saying 4, don't beat yourself up. It isn't like you are denying her exsistance! Just some days we need to conserve our energy, rather than explain yet again to someone who we only meet in passing. (((HUGS)))
Permanent Link

About Me

The day by day struggles and successes of bringing blunt-edged babes to finely-sharpened arrows.

Link to Raising Arrows Blogspot

Raising Arrows Blog
Where you can read about the rest of my life!


Link to Little Arrows Blog

Little Arrows Blog
Where Little Arrows Hone Their Skills

Take a Moment to Vote for Your Favorites!

Join Us at the HSBA!

Links

Home
View my profile
Archives
Email Me
My Blog's RSS

Blog Awards





Photobucket

Quiverfull Blogroll

Interested in reading blogs by other Quiverfull families? Click on one of the links below!




I am Elinor Dashwood!

Take the Quiz here!

Friends

cofeeiv
Dee
hsmom2myboys
Raesfamily
QuiverfullMom
quietcajun
ElCloud
Vi
Lilyofthevalley4
Majormom
missionsmom
layla7
SarahLynne
WomanofGod
jengresak
Madea
garringer9
Mom2SHZC
mamawilson
jbird1898
wewinnow
Beckyg
rebeccahuff
Entry 31 of 173
Last Page | Next Page