Train Her Up

Part 2 of Homeschooling Daughters 

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." 

Proverbs 22:6

I know this verse is often overused or misquoted, but nonetheless, it is one we have to consider in the schooling of our children.  It is still God's Holy Word no matter how we humans choose to twist it. 

For the purposes of this particular entry, we are looking at the word "train."  The lexicon defines this word in this way...

to narrow; figuratively, to initiate or discipline -- dedicate, train up

So, we are to "narrow" our children.  Once again, in this day and age, them's fightin' words.  No child should be told they can't do something, right?  WRONG. 

Surely, we all agree there are certain parameters or guidelines or rules that we must follow.  Surely, no parent would conclude that it is perfectly alright for our children to steal, for instance.  But, if you tell your child they cannot steal, aren't you narrowing them?  Of course you are!

This same principle applies when we are considering schooling.  I know some days it seems there is no end in sight to these school years, but there is.  Ultlimately, we are schooling to that end.  We should not be randomly schooling.  We must have some sort of vision when it comes to educating our children.  A "big picture" vision is great for our homeschool in general, but we need to also consider a "snapshot" vision for each child individually.  If we do not do this, we will eventually do our children a great disservice. 

My 2nd born is nothing like my 1st born.  I would imagine nearly every family out there could say the same thing.  Therefore, my 2nd born deserves a different type of education from my 1st born.  It is important that we take a hard look at each of our children and educate according to the unique individual God has created in them.  I know this sounds daunting.  Believe me, I have been dealing with this very issue recently and "overwhelmed" would be an understatement.  However, as I've begun to "flesh" this out, I see that it really isn't as difficult as what I assumed it would be.  It doesn't really require that much more work.  It sometimes requires a bit more brain power or "think-on-your-feet-ness", but it becomes a way of life fairly quickly.  More on that later.

So, we can agree that all children should be narrowed according to certain rules and parameters.  And I would venture to guess that we all agree that we should be training up children as individuals, which is another part of the narrowing aspect.  Here comes the difficult-to-stomach piece of the pie.  If the first two ways of training are true, then we must also consider the fact that training our daughters will be done differently from training our sons because you cannot divorce the gender aspect from a child's individuality (as was discussed in part 1).

But, what are we preparing our daughters for?  Well, what does the Word of God say about a woman's role?  There are some very specific passages that probably come to everyone's minds with Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 being the most popular.  I won't take the time to do a verse by verse exposition, but there are some key components in these verses that will help us to narrow our vision for our daughters and thus, train them accordingly.

Proverbs 31 exalts the woman who is:

Virtuous

Trustworthy

Industrious

Resourceful

Hard-working

Level-headed

Strong

Diligent

Charitable

Well-prepared

Handy

Honorable

A good Manager

Fears the Lord

Titus 2 exhorts young women to be:

Sober (serious about her role)

Loving toward her husband and children

Discreet

Chaste

A Keeper at Home

Good

Obedient to her own husband

This is quite a list to work from!  I'm not sure I would call it a "narrow" list.

So, how do you put all of this together?  Here's a quick summary:

1)  Determine what rules and guidelines are important to your family concerning your daughters.  This can be as general or specific as you want it to be.

2)  Examine your daughters individually.  Who are they?  What are some definite personality traits you see.  How can you take those and nurture them?  How can you narrow them in a God-glorifying manner?

3)  Take a look at the list of traits from Proverbs 31 and Titus 2.  Search more Scripture for what the Lord wants from His people, and specifically  from us women.  How can you implement these traits into your daughter's education?  Which ones do you definitely see her lacking in?  How can you help her to build those traits? 

This will give you a good start.  Begin brainstorming.  Consider what kind of woman you hope to raise.  What does God want for your daughter?  Jot down some ideas.  Try something new this week with her that caters specifically to her individuality as well as who she is in Christ.  Research ways to build these desirable traits. 

In fact, you may find that homeschooling this way is A LOT more fun and A LOT more fruitful!  I'd love to hear from any of you who are trying this and what you choose to do with your daughters that encourages and fosters her narrowing and training!