Life was simple when I didn't know but one homeschooling curriculum existed.  I somehow received a single solitary homeschooling catalog in those early days and ordered everything from there.  Ignorance is bliss.

Now, I now "better."  There are a million and one curriculums out there and I own half of them and want to try the other half. 

I am a homeschooling curriculum website/catalog junkie.  I will spend long hours perusing page after page of my latest homeschool curriculum temptation.  For a moment in time I am lured in, believing my current fancy is the perfect solution, the magic bullet, the be-all-end-all of homeschooling curriculums.  But, the longer I am there, the lesser becomes the luster, and eventually I move on to find another curriculum fix elsewhere.

And apparently, I am not alone.

Many homeschooling moms are just like me; searching for something that does not exist.  But, why do I search?  Am I convinced that somewhere out there a curriculum was written that perfectly meshes with my worldview, my philosophy on education, my teaching style, AND my children's learning styles?  Yeah right.  The only way that is going to happen is if I write the curriculum myself, and who has time for that?  I'm way too busy staring at homeschooling websites.

Maybe I am falling into the influence of my peers.  I can thank my public education for that.  I want to do what Susie Homeschool-Mom down the street does because they always look like they are having fun, or her kids got into med school, or she seems to have it all together. 

However, as I sit here thinking "out loud" about my quest, the words "striving after the wind" come to mind.  I took a moment to jump over to a Bible site I use to look up verses and came across Ecclesiastes 1.  The entire chapter would be a beneficial read, but let me just give you a few verses that jumped out at me:

All things are wearisome;
Man is not able to tell it.
The eye is not satisfied with seeing,
Nor is the ear filled with hearing.
That which has been is that which will be,
And that which has been done is that which will be done.
So there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecc 1:8,9

And I set my mind to seek and explore by wisdom concerning all that has been done under heaven. It is a grievous task which God has given to the sons of men to be afflicted with.  I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind.  What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted.

Ecc 1:14, 15

My search isn't anything new.  Granted, King Solomon was not searching for the perfect homeschooling curriculum, but he was searching for wisdom.  Essentially, that is what I am doing.  And I do feel "afflicted".  Pefection does not exist.  All curriculums will be slightly "crooked" and "lacking".  I am wasting my time chasing after this wind.  I need to stop this vain pursuit.

But how?  I really don't have an answer to that at this point.  What I do know is that the only way to seek wisdom is to seek the Lord.  So, that is what I will be committing my heart to doing as I try to plan out the end of this year and on into the following year.  May the Lord guide my steps and yours.