Tuesday night I attended my local homeschooling support group meeting.  I attend a rather unconventional homeschool support group called Visionary Christian Home Educators.  The group is comprised of moms of all ages coming together for the purpose of exhorting one another in the Word of God in order to catch a "vision" for homeschooling for God's glory.

The mom who leads the group put together a "course" on homeschooling with a vision.  A lesson is provided each month that guides us along the path of discerning what the Lord would have for our homeschool experience.  This course is not for the faint of heart!

I come home from VCHE with my brain on overload and my heart on fire.  I never fail to be refreshed and challenged by these monthly meetings.  Tuesday night was no exception.

Something I gleaned from that meeting I wanted to share here.  It is something that weighed heavy on my heart from the moment I heard the words.  It is something that made me really examine myself and my day; how my time is spent, how I interact with my children, how I interact with my God.

These are the words that cut me to the quick:
"Can your children tell that their right relationship with the Lord is important?"

Do my children know that everything I teach, every disciplinary action I take, every moment I spend is done to the glory of our Lord and Savior?  Do they know that it is more important to learn the ways of God than to learn their times tables?  Do they know that my heart is more burdened that they obey the Lord's commandments than that they act "just so" in public?  As Denise Sproul says in her book, Tending Your Garden, "our goal is to raise godly seed, not well-ordered heathen."

In addition to this, do my children see me obeying the Lord?  Do they hear me speak of the Lord?  Do they know that He is real in my life?  Do they know that He is not just a "part" of my life, but that He IS my life?

In short, DO THEY SEE GOD?

Every single day, in every single thing...DO THEY SEE GOD?

I have to intentionally disciple (the name of Tuesday's session by the way) my children.  They will no doubtedly be discipled by my actions and words, but what will they be discipled in?  Will they learn to hurry through life flitting from one menial task to another?  Will they think life here on earth is only about getting the grunge work out of the way so we can have fun?  Will they think the world is all about them and what they can get out of it?  Am I discipling them in the ways of the Lord or in the ways of the world?  Am I leading them down the narrow path or the wide path?  DO THEY SEE GOD? 

I need to examine my actions and see if they line up with my words...my children are doing just this every moment of every day.  My children are watching me and one day they will be able to fully reason and realize if Mommy is a hypocrite.  Children are very forgiving, but there will come a day when they will know for certain if Mommy is talking out both sides of her mouth.  They will not be able to ignore if Mommy is saying one thing and doing another.  And if I am saying one thing and doing another, why?  Is it because my day isn't ordered properly?  Is it because I am too afraid of what others may think of me?  Is it because I have gotten too comfortable?

My children cannot possibly see God in my life if I am not constantly looking toward my Lord.  Like Moses on the mount, my countenance should reflect my Savior.  And it has nothing to do with forcing myself to spend time in the Word so I can be a better parent.  I should hunger and thirst for God for my own soul's sake.  If I am following after my Lord, desiring more, wanting to know Him more, then my children cannot help but see Him.  I should be so saturated with His Word that I am dripping gospel.  What is in my heart will be on my lips. (Mt 12:34)

I am hungry...I am thirsty...I am hanging on His words.  Lord, fill me and let them see You!