Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child’s Lifestory
By: Susan TeBos & Carissa Woodwyk

Recently, I was asked to read and review the book Before You Were Mine by Susan TeBos and Carissa Woodwyk. I read through the book with fervor and excitement.  This is a fantastic book!  I want to be as bold as to say that if you are an adoptive parent, you MUST read this book!  Here’s why:

The whole idea behind the book is to teach you, as an adoptive parent, how to write a Lifebook for your adopted child(ren). “What is a Lifebook?” you ask.  A Lifebook is a book that you create for you child, focusing on the time of their life before they entered your family~ from birth to adoption, if you will.  Now, I am an adoptive parent myself; and, I must admit, I’ve never really given a whole lot of thought about that time of my children’s lives.  I think a lot of us, as adoptive parents, tend to almost block out that time, but that time of each child’s life is very important and very significant.  It is your child’s beginning, and it makes them the person that they are today and part of the person that they will become.

The authors of the book are not “experts”; rather, they are just regular people whose lives have been touched by the miracle of adoption.  Susan TeBos is the adoptive mother of 3 children from Russia; Carissa Woodwyk is a Korean adoptee.  Together, they have combined their experiences, as well as the experiences of many others, to write this book.  The idea of a Lifebook is not a new one; however, these two ladies have taken this idea, and added God’s plan for adoption, giving you the tools you need to create a wonderful keepsake book for your child.

Maybe you’re thinking “How will I know where to start?” or “What all should I include?”, or possibly “I don’t have the time to start on another project right now”.  Susan and Carissa have included several questionnaires to get you started, as well as providing sample Lifebook pages to be used as a reference.  There are blank pages after each section, where you can start writing or brainstorming.  And, at the conclusion of each section, they’ve included a prayer that you can personalize for your child;  I found the prayers to be very moving and applicable.  After reading it, I realize that I have no excuse NOT to do this for my children. 

We all know, whether adoptive parents or not, that children ask questions about their births~ “Where did I come from?” and “How did I get here?”  How do you answer your adoptive child when he asks these questions?  This book will give you the confidence you need to not only answer these questions, but to create a book that will be a treasured keepsake for your child. 

After reading it, I not only realize the importance of creating such a book for each of my adoptive children, but I also realize that I need to be more open with discussing birth parents, and the life that my children led before joining our family.  Because two people, halfway around the world, chose life, our family has been blessed.  God has a special plan for each child and that plan starts at conception, not when the child enters her forever family. 

Please, I urge you to pick up a copy of this book.  It doesn’t matter if your child joined your family through an open adoption, foster care, or an international adoption, each child has a Lifestory that is worthy of being told.

For more information on the book or the authors, click here.  Or, pick up your copy at your local Christian bookstore, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon.com:

 *I'd be interested in feedback from other adoptive parents.  Have you heard of Lifebooks before?  Have you created one for your adopted child?  Would you  be interested in an online support group, where you could share experienced and ideas about Lifebooks with other adoptive parents?  I am prayerfully considering starting a group/message board, but would like to know if there's any interest in something like that, before pursuing it. 

Edited 7-18 My friend Denise asked if this book would be appropriate for someone who adopted their child as a newborn.  Good question!  I would definitely say that the answer is YES.  This book contains enough ideas for explaining about birth parents, place of birth, thoughts and ideas and feelings about certain things, that I'm certain parents whose children entered their lives directly from the hospital will gain lots of knowledge and get great ideas from this book.

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Jul. 17, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by HandsRaisedToHeaven

This sounds like an interesting book. I have heard of lifebooks before but have never made one for Issac. It seems like a difficult task when there is very little background information. I will add it to my wish list. :) Issac has recently been telling me short memories from Ukraine. It's neat that he remember things and is beginning to talk to us about it. Maybe this type of book would jog more memories.


Blessings,
Jenny

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Jul. 17, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by quietcajun

I have a friend that has a daughter from China. She has a book that tells her life story.
This friend was told she could not have children and after many failed IVF attempts adopted her little Sophia from China.

After Sophia came home they were contacted about what they wanted to do with the remaining frozen embryos. They decided that since their insurance would pay for another round of IVF they would implant them. Three survived the thawing process and two survived the implantation!

So this friend went from thinking she would be childless to having three babies in under two years!!! What a joy!!!

They were already planning another adoption from China before she had the twins. I think they may still do that.

Anyway, Sophia sometimes struggles to understand why the babies eyes are round and hers are not... and whether mommy loves Sariana and Wesley more than her, etc.

This family has done a beautiful job letting Sophia know how deeply loved she is and how precious she is and how creative God is to make all different people and to put them into families through many different plans!

It is inspiring!

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Jul. 17, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by 4sweetums

I look forward to reading this booK! I was never really satisfied with the lifebooks that foster to adopt parents are given here in NC. Thanks, I will look into it right away.
Blessings,
4sweetums

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Jul. 18, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by denisebp

This book sounds really interesting.

As with many things in my life these days, I heard about Lifebooks, bought a book on them...and the book is sitting on my shelf, unread. I have so many good intentions! :)

My question to you would be this: Do you think this book would apply to someone like myself who adopted all of our children as newborns?

Denise

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