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Apr. 8, 2008 - 4-8-08
"But consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty when you sin. For though He wounds, he also bandages. He strikes, but His hand also heals". Job 5:17
Praise the Lord for His Godly correction. It is done out of LOVE and never out of frustration and anger. Though, "I" am often feeling frustrated and angry with myself, right about the time I need HIM to step in and re-direct me. My friend Debbie talks about when you become FREE of sin it makes you feel as though you are FLYING! Well, that is exactly how I feel, as though I am FLYING.
It's easy to repent and change course when my circumstances change..., what always blesses me is when the Lord supernaturally changes my heart so that in the MIDST of the situation I walk in Freedom. This week was exactly that, as a matter of fact it was busier than ever. Let me share:
1- My Jacob had chickey pox which changed the dynamics of my whole life.
2- My Grandmother had emergency oral surgery.
3- Thursday Grandma had a previously scheduled appointment to go our main doctor for follow up on some tests that she had done the week before.
4- Friday was our last day at co-op and a full day as we were trying to tie up all the details of the yearbook + Friday night is the night we do my Grandmother's yard.
Well, just a few weeks ago I would have fell right into the frustrated victim mode, but instead the Lord walked out Duet 33:26..., "He rode across the Heavens to help me, Across the skies in Majestic Splendor".
* He made me HUNGRY for His Word.
* I saw my Grandmother through eyes filled with Love. He reminded me that these "interruptions" are precious minutes that are a gift! I get to spend time with her "now" to carry with me forever.
As I took her frail and wrinkled hand into mine and helped her into the van and then into the doctor's office we joked and laughed and made forever memories. It felt good and filled my cup to minister out of love. I realized that when I get caught up in my "schedule" I see it more of an obligation and even an interruption. I don't think I am ever rude or mean, but I when I am watching the clock or calendar my body language screams, "THIS IS AN INTERRUPTION". (I don't ever remember her making ME feel that way all the times she rode clear up to Palm Harbor every single week to pick me up and bring me back to her house when I was growing up and she was a 1st grade teacher who was probably exhausted)
* I watched my 16 year old son minister to his grandmother in love. He went over on Tuesday night so that he could take care of Wednesday morning after she took her medicine. He didn't grumble and complain. Though, I know there is sacrifice. Her house can become warm because as you get older your circulation slows down. She has no internet and she has him go to bed much earlier than if he were at home. But he didn't look at those things, instead he looked at what needed to be done and he did it. He loves his Grandma.
When I went to co-op Friday I was feeling under a deadline with the yearbook and then the Lord once again, "Rode across the Heavens to help me, across the skies in majestic splendor. Instead of falling victim to my timeline and all that needed to be done..., He changed my heart!"
I looked across the room at all the precious teens he put in my class. I saw that this was my last day with them and I felt such love. This was not about a yearbook, this was about loving them with HIS love. We were joking and having a good time. This was a gift from the Lord because I can become very task oriented when under the gun.
He showed me again..., being a Leader is not about being in charge, it's about serving others. I can't serve others if I feel overwhelmed and sorry for myself. You can't be a victim and a servant (leader) at the same time. I am so thankful to the Lord for "His" Godly correction......, More of HIM, less of Me!
"But consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty when you sin. For though He wounds, he also bandages. He strikes, but His hand also heals". Job 5:17
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 4-1-08
HOLY BOOT CAMP~ Knowing Your Position!
Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you"
Should I be in a ministry outside of my home? Right now, I am serving in three places OUTSIDE my home:
1- PPEA, Homeschool Support Group.
2- CHOSEN, homeschool co-op.
3- Salt and Light Ministries- moms bible study.
This has been a constant question that I have asked myself again and again this past year. I have worried about this off and on as we have had "ebbs and flows" of busyness. (more flows than ebbs) I've had to ask myself some hard questions.
Q- Mary, Why are you serving in your support group?
Q- Mary, Is your heart to encourage others or to bring attention to yourself?
A- The answer has been that my heart is to encourage others, BUT when I have dry spells in consistency regarding my daily quiet time or when I become busy and full of the things of this world, I become self-seeking, chasing after ambition. More seems better, but MORE keeps me from a close daily walk with HIM!
Every time I read my favorite magazine, "Above Rubies" and I see Nancy Campbell's heart of motherhood spilled out on the pages I feel encouraged and at the same time convicted. I find myself pondering if I should quit everything and just focus on my home? Everytime I go to convention and sit in workshops where the moms share their legacy of "Home", I walk away discouraged and I have to ask myself is this conviction coming from the Lord or from myself?
All of this has been a Holy Bootcamp! Let me tell you what that means....,
Holy Bootcamps- Are Anything that gets me to God, no matter how uncomfortable or painful. They take a while to work through. (not short and sweet but long and hard) It's a place where I make MANY mistakes, but Christ uses those mistakes to teach me to take my eyes off of "me", off of "me" and "THIS" world and to put them onto Him/eternity.
So after months of being in this "Boot Camp" and asking myself these hard questions I feel like he gave me a REVELATION this week!
Mary, there are seasons....,
When the Lord had me lay fallow for 7 years. (pregnancy/babies) That was exactly the opposite of where I am now. I was at home, not plugged in anywhere. I remember feeling "forgotten". Even my most homebody friends did more than I. I constantly questioned myself...., Should I do more?
But just as I remembered that, He reminded me of the purpose of that season which was to stay home so that I could "consistently" train my children and lay the foundation for their character.
I remember the Holy Bootcamp of babies and young children...., Grumbling and complaining because I had to stop what I was doing to correct and re-direct 20 bazillion times everyday. (ok, slight exaggeration) I remember feeling left out and forgotten. I remember feeling sorry for myself. My life was all about Mary the Mom and I honestly couldn't remember who I was outside of that role.
I now see how WONDERFUL this experience was for me (very growing) and for them. My boys can make dinner, do laundry, wash dishes, make beds, clean their rooms, wash the tub, etc..., I had TIME to train them. I went through bedrest and difficult pregnancies and the Lord used that as a tool to prepare them for life! If I could do it again I would do the same thing, but with a good attitude and without the worry that my house was going to swallow me up, never to be seen by grown ups ever again. (grin)
Now, this past year as I have plugged into the PPEA, I see how the Lord perfectly orchestrated my life for "Such a Time as this". He confirmed in my heart that I AM supposed to be here. It's not easy, I do have to learn how to balance and place boundaries, how not to let IT become an Idol.
When it gets stressful, the thought will flitter thru my brain, "Why am I doing this?" It seems easier to just let go, but God's way is not always easy. His goal is not that I am always happy, but that I am Holy. Job certainly wasn't happy when his entire life fell apart, but he was Holy. This is my example.
God has confirmed in my heart that He HAS called me to minister through our support group. However, He is having me step away from teaching at my co-op for the Fall semester. (though I'll be back in January, next year) He has me training someone to take my place as leader of our Wednesday bible study. I realized that I can't do several things well and so I have to ask HIM what my purpose is for right now, "this" season. As I serve HIM, HE shows me where to go, where to serve! (More of Him, Less of me! John 3:30)
He also showed me that doesn't call us all to the same purpose. I have wasted so much time trying to become what I admire, rather than who God made ME to be....,
My friend Christa, LOVES her position of support. She has no desire to be on the front lines. When she has tried to step out and do things that put her in the front it never felt right. She now knows her position and is able to encourage others in theirs.
My friend Kim happens to be our States support group leader for 5 districts here in the state of Florida. Her territory is large and she serves a very important purpose. HOwever, I remember all the days she stayed home and trained and spanked and trained and tied strings and trained and spanked and trained and tied strings and on the other side is her beautiful 16 year old daughter who is her right hand gal! She helps her mama make meals, clean house, do laundry so that she can be freed up to serve her Lord through her position.
My friend Niki is our co-op director. She does an amazing job. Because of her ministry almost 200 homeschool students have a God Centered Ministry that enriches the education and the spirit. But again, how many years did she stay home before being able to say YES!?
The point of all this?
1- Mary, don't get so caught up with what I've shown others! Allow Nancy Campbell to minister to your heart as she builds your love of family, but don't become legalistic and try to duplicate in your home what I've called HER to do. Take your eyes off of man and put them on ME!
2- There will be challenges and though it would seem easy to give up, instead allow them to get you to me so that my power can be made perfect IN YOUR WEAKNESS!
3- Mary, Know your position so you don't get caught up being busy in a role I've not called YOU to! If I call you to stay home, stay home. If I give you a ministry "Come To Me!
4- Mary, Remember that being a leader is really just being a SERVANT and I don't want or even NEED your ability, just your AVAILability. When you get busy your not available. Make your time with me everyday the most important goal. More important than even schooling your children.
I hope this makes sense as I feel it just pouring out of me. I have so many things I need to grow in and work on and the Lord is allowing the PPEA to be the vehicle that does just THAT!
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 3-24-08
"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For everything in the world-- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father, but from the World. The world and it's desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever!" 1 John 2:15-17
Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, I had such a REVIVAL this past weekend! When I tell you about it, you won't believe it. But let me start at the beginning.
As you know I went on vacation Thursday morning and came home yesterday. We packed a lot into 4 short days. Day one, Scott, the boys and I went to the hospital in Gainesville to see my dad. He is doing GREAT! My mom took the boys and Scott to lunch and I spent over an hour by myself with my dad. I brought the photo album I made them for Christmas and it was a wonderful way to get the conversation flowing. We then spent the night with my mom and it was so much FUN!
Friday morning found us off to Atlanta and arrived in time to spiffy up at my FIL's hotel room which was near the church where the wedding/rehersal was taking place. I found out that I was to be the wedding coordinator the next day. (Imagine my surprise) I was the one zipping gowns, poofing hair, fixing bra's, putting out fires as they freaked out. (smile) I also found out that I was to be the MAIN photographer?! It was a total surprise to me. I will post the pictures for you to see. Some turned out great (thank you Lord) some did not? I did my best. (sigh)
Saturday morning (wedding day) I woke to the stomach flu. I didn't know what to do as the wedding was an HOUR from our hotel and I couldn't imagine being away from a bathroom that long. But I asked Scott to take the boys to his dads room and to give me some time. I spent that time in the Word and cried out for restoration for the wedding..., He was FAITHFUL! The wedding was just BEAUTIFUL! (I also called Christa and asked for prayer, thank you my friend)
However, at 4am the next morning we woke to Colton moaning and the projectile vomiting all over our hotel room. So you might ask..., how was this wonderful?!
Well unfortunately, I have been so BUSY being BUSY that I've not taken the time to spend with my Savior that I should. But you know when I am empty of myself and don't know where to turn that is when I need and WANT Him the most. I spent HOURS in the Word. I was sharing with friends that I went from having a "drought" experience to a FEAST! I poured through 1,2 & 3rd John, Jude and I'm several chapters into Job! Not just quantity but Quality. His Word was like Ice cold water on the hottest day. It was all HIM! As though, something within me woke up that had been napping with short bursts of wakefulness...., even in the sickness I felt such EXHILARATION!
"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For everything in the world-- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father, but from the World. The world and it's desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever!" 1 John 2:15-17
It would take too long to share with you the exact steps and timing but in a nutshell, the Lord showed me that I had allowed my heart to get pulled into the things of this world. The part of the verse that says, "The boasting of what he does" jumped out and slapped me right upside the head!
I have been so EXCITED about the PPEA (the local support group I am a part of) that it had become an idol. I just love it..., everything about it! I have people e-mailing me their idea's and sharing their excitement and before I knew it this became my IDOL, more important than my Lord. (sob) I shared a couple of weeks ago that I have been so busy that I was coming to my quiet time full, but what He showed me this weekend was that I was busy with things that were not eternal. Don't get me wrong, this is a wonderful ministry and I am very excited to be a part of it, but I don't want to be excited about anything more so than my Lord!
As I repented he said,
Mary, blessed is woman whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For He wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also HEAL! Job 5:17&18
Is that just PRECIOUS! He was comforting me even as He rebuked me!
This went so well with another verse He had given me earlier in the week:
Mary continue in him, so that when he appears you may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming! (1 John 2:28)
Then this last verse blew me away.....,
Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless. What he trusts in is fragile, what he relies on is a spider's web. He leans on his web, but it gives way; he clings to it, but it does not hold. He is like a well watered plant in the sunshine, spreading it's shoots over the garden, it entwines it's roots around a pile of rocks and looks for a place among the stones. But when it is torn from it's spot, that place disowns it and says, I never saw you. Surely life withers away". Job 8:13-18
I heard His voice say, "Don't you see Mary, it's not because I am some mean task master that I have to gently rebuke and re-route your heart back to me, but because "I" know that the enemy wants to cause division. It brings him joy to see God's children running amuck, chasing after the wind. Those lies bring about what the verse above says. I don't want your life to wither away. I want you to experience ABUNDANCE and COMPLETENESS, WHOLENESS AND PURPOSE and apart from me that can't happen!
As if I need another reminder Job 8: 9b- "Our days on earth are but a shadow".
Let me close with this beautiful Word from the Lord...,
"Yet if you devote your heart to Him and stretch out your hands to him. If you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand FIRM and without fear." Job 11:13-15
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 3-9-08 Weekly Share!
Proverbs 11:2- "Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom".
This is my Colton's verse this week from Heart of Dakota. (the curriculum he is using) As I was sitting there trying to teach him this as his memory verse the lord started to minister to MY heart. I started wondering..., Am I being prideful?
What I found was that I am in the process of juggling lots of fires right now. I am doing my Betty/Olive workshop on Tuesday, I am speaking at our church's Children's ministry conference in April, on how to help children memorize scripture. I am preparing for our County wide Talent Show in April, and I'm preparing to speak at our state homeschool convention in Orlando in May. I don't think I've ever had that many upcoming events before. I started to get "busy".
As I had been preparing this week......., Typing up my outlines, putting together my personal stories, even looking up the scriptures I want use, I had somehow in the midst of this started leaving the Lord at the door, while "I" took over. (ouch) It was feeling like a lot of "WORK".
The truth is when I remember my position John 15:5 (HE'S the vine, I'M the brach) it ISN'T a lot of work. It flows freely. My cup is FULL and it just naturally sloshes out.
Part of our assignment was to look up the words Pride and Humble....,
Pride- An undue sense of one's superiority, Arrogance and Conceit.
Humble- Having or expressing a sense of selfLESSNESS.
You know never once was I sitting there thinking I had it all together, (believe ME I know my weaknesses) but pride is anything that includes more of "me" and less of "Him". He doesn't want my "Ability", He wants my "AVAILability". When I looked up Humbleness, the word "SELFLESSNESS", just zinged my heart! Lord teach me to let go and to just follow YOU!
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 2-26-08 Weekly Share
"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me" and my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming"! Psalm 27:8
One of the first things you learn in the Freedom Workshop is how dangerous having conversations with ourselves can be. It's such a habit. We rehearse and discuss everything with ourself. Here's the problem. When I am having a conversation with myself and not with the Lord I am leaving room for "lies" to permeate my thinking. I don't even recognize them. I know that most people would understand this as we've all done it. Examples:
You think, someone else is thinking...., (fill in the blank) DANGEROUS, this is SO dangerous! How many times have I accused someone of something (in my heart) based on no facts? (Jane Smith doesn't like me because she thinks I'm too talkative. Sarah Jane wishes I wasn't coming to the party because park day she wasn't talking to me, you get the picture)
However, if I change my audience, I can have those SAME conversations with the Lord. I don't have to play christian and pretty it up, I just change my audience. (He doesn't mind if I go to him infected and angry. I can't infect God with my sin!) But HE can supernaturally give me HIS perfect peace, He can supernaturally help my spirit recognize a lie I am believing, He can counsel me with HIS word which is absolute TRUTH..., "IF" and ONLY "IF" I go to HIM w/ my conversations.
This past week I was found to be believing a LIE on two occassions. Once I recognized this I could have just *THUNKED* myself on the forehead!? Why do I forget to remember?
(Note, I am aware there are WP users here. I almost didn't share this first example because it's very embarrassing and humbling, but I am going to trust the Lord and send this, praying that it touches someone else's heart)
As most of you know, the Lord had me leave WinterPromise curriculum this year. It was a very hard decision for many reasons. But the two biggies were:
1- I was afraid it would effect my realtionship with Karen as we had come to build a friendship over the past two years. We had spent long conversations talking about our children, praying together, sharing our thoughts on family, homeschooling, our walk with the Lord.
2- I was afraid to leave my cyber community I had come to love.
Well, the cyber community was WONDERFUL! They said goodbye and sent smooches and personal e-mails. I felt so loved. However, I e-mailed a long, heartfelt e-mail to Karen Brooks and had not heard back for almost 3 weeks. As each day and then week went by, I began to put together that Karen was upset that I was leaving WP. I kept floating between hurt and anger and then Friday, I got an e-mail that she was on her way out of town and had received my e-mail and couldn't wait to catch up. She's going to call when she gets back. *ACK* I spent three weeks of my life worrying over something that was not true. In my heart I had accused her and taken offense over something that just wasn't true....., "My heart has heard you say, "come and talk with me.", my heart response, "Lord, I am COMING"! Oh may this situation remind me to always run to HIM!
Second Scenerio
The Second thing that happened was my dad. I began to worry over his cancer. I heard what the doctors had said. He had inoperable colon cancer. I had him down as dying. I started planning for the funeral. I started thinking about what I would say, what I would wear, wondering how long I had with him? How would I spend his last days with him? On and on and on I went. I mean I did pray for him and about this situation, but I was having WAY more conversations with myself than with the Lord....., "My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with.", My heart responds, "Lord, I am coming"!
Father, please forgive me for the many lies I've believed over the years that were never true, that I'm not even aware of? Remind me when I am having conversation with anyone but you. Change my heart, make me more like YOU!
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 2-19=08
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"! Phil 4:13
Last Thursday was my 20th wedding anniversary. To celebrate we went to Busch Gardens. It brings a smile to my face to see how the Lord worked it out.
Because you see, 20 years ago Scott had just gotten hired with the Sheriff's office and was not allowed to miss any days, and so rather than going on the cruise we had originally planned we went to Busch Gardens. How cool it was to be celebrating at the same place we had spent our honeymoon, but 20 years later! Back in 1988 I was a 19 year old new bride and this time I was a 39 year old mom of four. I thanked the Lord because I love my husband even MORE all these years later!
As we were driving over to Busch Gardens I started thinking about Sheikra the rollercoaster. I knew that Scott wanted me to ride this with him and I thought about how FUN it would be to let go and just do it. It would give us a shared experience. But being as deathly afraid of heights as I am, I started to feel the wall of fear permeate every fiber of my being. I'm not being dramatic, even the thought of riding this particular ride threw me into a panic attack.
I started thinking back to the last time I was there and how I was so scared that I felt dizzy and short of breath, so much so I just walked right through the coaster to the other side and out of the building.
I started praying. One of the things you learn in the Freedom workshop is that God can work with a "Want-To". So I prayed and it went something like this....,
"Lord, I really WANT to ride this coaster. I know that once I do it I'll be fine, but the fear is so great. Right now I feel like it's never going to happen because it makes me physically ill even contemplating it, but I've also learned that YOU love to work with "Want-To's" and so I am asking if there is anyway you could supernaturally take away my fear and let me enjoy this day w/ my hubby".
All the way across the bridge, (Pinellas is on a Pennisula for my out of state freinds) I kept silently praying this while Scott and I talked. He told me that he would love for me to ride it but that there was no pressure. (He knows if pressured I'll run) Then he said, "I sure hope you can ride it because what better way to commemerate our 20 years together!" (He knows as a Betty I can be very sentimental, sneaky boy) When we were still MILES away I could see the coaster sticking out higher than any of the other buildings, my knees went weak, my heart accelerated. I told him that I was pretty sure that I could not ride this and started apologizing.
Fast Forward to the park:
We went right to the Sheikra. I said, I'll tell you what I will get in line if you promise not to get mad at me if I cannot do it and need to walk off again? He said no problem. I started relationally praying Phil 4:13..., "Your word tells me that I can do this WITH YOU Lord. This is just a silly roller coaster, but it's so high, so tall, but I know that I can do this if you will supernaturally intervene." We got into line and the loud speakers kept saying those dumb things all fast rides say, "If you have heart disease, are pregnant or not in good general health you should not ride this. OUr speeds exceed 70mph.
Then out of nowhere this lady Janelle and her 12 year old son Jacob walk up behind us and we look at each other and nervously giggle. I started up a conversation. (I have no idea what I said I was so nervous) but I do remember her sharing that she was nervous and had never ridden. We started talking about how they were visiting from Maine and before I knew it we had hit it off. I was telling her that I had not met one person who had ever ridden it who said they wished they hadn't. Every single person said you have to ride it again. As I began to try to make her (and more importantly her 12 year old) feel better, I started to feel the cobwebs of fear pull away from head and my heart.
Next thing I know I am strapped in leaning all the way back going up the big 200 foot hill. All you can hear is nervous laughter and click, click, click, click, click of the coaster. I looked straight into the heavens and with a fiery EXCITEMENT I thought..., I can DO THIS! We got to the top where I had planned to close my eyes because I didn't want to see the entire city that far up and I was completely at peace, looking around pointing at things, talking with my husband and Janelle and even Jacob. I yelled out, "WOOOOOHOOOOOO"?! (WHAT?)
It STOPS at the top and S-L-O-W-L-Y creeps out and has you hang face down so that you are staring at the ground for 3 full seconds before dropping you. You can see people down there trying to look up and there all shaking their heads "NO WAY". For just a minute I think, "I want off, I want off" and then you hear a BIG CLICK and you FREE FALL to the bottom. It totally freaked me out, but as we climbed up the other side and then spun upside down I found myself screaming excitedly with everyone else. I have never felt such elation. My husband was trying to high five me but the force of 70 mph doesn't make that very easy, LOL!
As we went down another hill and spun around I cried out to the Lord with my Thankfulness. He didn't just get me through it. He helped me EMBRACE it. That I could stare out and have a conversation at the top was only something the Lord could do. I Ended up riding it a total of FIVE times!
Later after I got home the Lord showed me something significant. He showed me that I had been so focused on my fear that I wasn't seeing anything else. I kept thinking about being at the top of the hill and what if I totally freaked out and there was no going back. I didn't think about the FUN, or what it was going to feel like afterwards. I was so stuck on the hill. I thought how many times do I do that in my day to day life. I'll eat what I'm not supposed to right now because I'm focused on being where I'm at. I don't look beyond to see what victory will feel like.
If you promise not to laugh at me you MUST see the picture of my face as I came down the hill. My husband bought it for me. You can see the fear. I wish we had bought a picture from the other four times because THOSE times my mouth was hanging open and there was a smile. But NOT the first one! (smile)
The Lord was faithful to take my Want-To and turn it into a VICTORY! If you look at the picture I scanned of the Sheikra you will see the highest part. That is where God was performing a miracle in my heart. Teaching me that I really can do all things through him!
Click Here to See Pictures
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 2-5-08 Weekly Share
"Don't be afraid of what you are about to suffer--- but if you remain faithful, even when facing death. I will give you the crown of life" Revelation 1:10
This spoke/speaks to my heart in such a powerful way. You see, I feel like I've been messing with these kidney stones now for too long. I find myself starting to feel "afraid" as the pain hits. Almost a sense of panic. Not that it's hurting so bad I can't take it, but I start having these thoughts flit through my head..., how bad is this going to get? However, if I keep my eye on Jesus or as He says, "If I remain faithful, even when facing death. He will give me the crown of life!"
No, I do not think I am going to die, but if that's the worst case scenerio, then I am still a winner!
I am teaching a class at our homeschool co-op called Revelation and I'm LOVING it! If you've never read through Revelation it's a FASCINATING book! I happened to buy our pastors DVD series as well and so we read, discuss and then watch. The funny, but cool thing is that since we read FIRST, the Lord is able to speak to me personally as in the verse above, but then my pastor teaches and it's wonderfully educational. However, it's not as personal, it's more about gaining information. The two together are PERFECT!
I'll close with a verse that gives me CHILLS!
"I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, says the Lord. I am the one who is, who always was and who is still to come- The Almighty One! Rev 1:8
Thank you Lord Jesus. Once I understand who GREAT you are then It gives me security to "let go" of the things of this world and to rest in YOU!
I wanted to share a blog entry from this week that was near and dear to my heart. I had to retire my old bible which was 15 years old and welcomed a new one into my home and my heart: Click Here To Go To Mary's Main Blog Page
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 1-29-08 Weekly Share!
Proverbs 3:5-7 (New Living Translation)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
*** This year has been such a growing experience for me. I had gotten so comfortable the last few years. With small babies, toddlers and a grandma who had medical issue's I pulled in and stayed close to just a few friends. Then BAM, this year I plugged into the homeschool community like never before. Not just our monthly support group meetings, but co-op, park day, you name it. In the midst of the busyness my quiet time has become not only quiet, but quick. One of the things I LOVE about the Lord (but I don't love feeling it) is that He never lets me get away with going through the motions outwardly. Once you've tasted a true, personal experience, it's impossible to go back!
The question? How do I trust in the Lord with ALL MY HEART? How do I not rely on my own understanding? (which is flawed) How do I seek HIS will with ALL my heart?
The Anwers? I come to Him empty every morning and enter into a time of private worship. I don't mean music worship, though that's fine. I mean where I sit at the feet of my savior with the full knowledge of who HE is. It's a time where I read, talk and most importantly stop, be STILL and listen.
As I pondered what has changed this year, that has made my quiet time harder than it's been in years I realized that in my busyness I was "full" of things and so when I would sit down in the morning to talk with the Lord nothing he had to offer seemed tempting because I had stuffed myself with the busyness of THIS world. My great-grandma used to say that the best seasoning to a meal was HUNGER. Well, that is the one ingredient I've not been bringing as much. Most times I come stuffed.
The sweet woman in my freedom workshop said it perfectly. (loosely paraphrased)
When I'm not in the Word, I start to lean on my OWN understanding and THAT can get me in TROUBLE!
7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
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Apr. 8, 2008 - 1-14--08 Weekly Share
"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me" and my heart has responded, "Lord I am coming"! Psalm 27:8
I am going to share something very embrassing that happened this week. I pondered this and realized that though embarassing, I'm not stuck there and it glorifies the Father. (It's when you read about my conversations)
The above verse is my memory verse this week. It's actually the one we are memorizing for my Freedom Workshop. (FW is the pre-curser to Salt and Light groups locally. It's a 6 week workshop that primes and prepares us for S&L)
FW= Freedom Workshop
One of the first things we learn in FW is NOT to have conversations with ourselves or others but to change our audience and have it with HIM. We are not to pretty it up or change it so that we can pretend to be what were not. If we're angry we take that anger with us, but we are dumping it out before the Lord because only "HE" can truly change our heart from the inside out. However, it's not as easy as it sounds because we've been taught to "PLAY" christian for so long. This sounds so much easier than it actually is.
Add to that..., statistically when a woman leaves Freedom Workshop the testing begins. It has happened everytime to myself and my friends. So the memory verse above is the reminder NOT to have the conversation with myself but to have it with the Lord.
I'd like to share some instances from this past week where I had to work hard not to go back to the old habit of having a conversation with myself and to instead talk with the Lord.
You'll find 2 victories and one OOPS. (smile) I have found conversations with myself cause me to feel sorry for myself. I become the victim, poor me. Conversations with the Lord bring victory from each individual situation.
1- The first day of FW was a crazy one for me. It happened to be my husbands birthday AND my monthly support group I lead was that night. I left the church with all the boys and ran to the store to buy Scott Sushi, chips and Cherry coke. (his personal favs)
I dropped the boys off and had Colton make their lunch while I ran to the church to set up and do sound checks for the monthly meeting. I left and came home and had approx one hour to put my feet up before it was time to start getting ready for our homeschool support group mtg. I got ready, fed and kissed my husband and went to do the group. Now here's the cool part. Instead, of feeling like a victim to my busy day, I felt ENERGIZED, FULL and EXCITED! I didn't get home until after 10pm and it turned out to be an AMAZING day! I actually blogged about it and homeschool moms there's some fun pictures and great info for you: Click To Go To Mary's Main Blog Page
2- Thursday was my weekly weigh in with my diet coach. I forgot to remember about the having the conversation with the Lord and instead started off having a MAJOR gripe session with myself. You see, I am doing a diet that promises you will lose 3-5 pounds per week and for the previous 2 weeks it had been 2 and 2 1/2. I woke up in angry because I had weighed myself and it was only showing on my scale a 2 pound loss. Which I know is good, but this diet is expensive AND my friends who were doing Weight Watchers were able to eat when I was saying no and losing more weight than me. I started telling my coach off in my mind. By the time my friend Brenda picked me up I changed my audience from having a conversation with myself to having a conversation with HER. By the time we got to my coach's house I was angry. Poor man, it was all directed at him. Imagine my surprise when his scale showed I HAD lost the 3 pound guaranteed? (roll eyes)
Later my friends really got a hold of me and reminded me to see the big picture. 23.5 pounds in 6 weeks. I believe had I taken this to the Lord He would have rescued me from myself before it got to the point it did. I actually still told my coach how upset I was and was a little heated. I can still hear Brenda nervously giggling as she said, "Alrighty then". (giggle)
3- This one is a bit embarrassing but it glorifies the Lord so I will include it. Friday my family and I went to Busch Gardens. (we have annual passes) My oldest son wanted me to ride Montu (rollercoaster) with him, but I told them I wouldn't. I remember it being a tight squeeze ten years ago. Because the coaster flips and flies all over the place it has a big shoulder bar that comes down over your chest and then a seatbelt that goes between your legs to fasten to the harness and I know I weighed at least ten pounds less.
However, after my husband rode it he swore that it would not be a big deal and even pulled the whole mom guilt card about Brandon overcoming his fears of rollercoasters and wanting me to ride it with him.
I stopped my dh as we were walking towards the line and explained that I would be horrified if I got up there and it didn't fit. He ensured me that wouldn't happen. Guess What? The truth is I could have had one of the helpers PUSH it down really hard and snap it, but the thought of flying 60mph, down hills, upside down 6 different times did not give me the confidence that I wanted to be squished in. I tried but could not get it to fasten on my own. I ended up having to get off. (oh my goodness)
The truth, is it was not as big a deal as I thought it would be. Everyone was so busy fastening themselves in and because it's a rollercoaster that the seats hang from the top, they didn't even really know what had happened.
I remembered feeling ANGRY at my husband. (who has been my biggest encourager and cheerleader) This was all HIS fault. If he hadn't made me...., you get the picture. As I was walking down the steps to find him, I find myself wanting to "milk" this? He felt so horrible and could not BELIEVE that it didn't fit. As he profusely apologized I knew I had a choice...., a) Make him feel guilty or b) offer him grace!
Though it was a fight I took the conversation to the Lord and ended up having an AMAZING day! My husband and I are going back on February 13th for our 20th anniversary. We went to Busch Gardens for our honeymoon and so it will be a wonderful re-union. We plan to ride all the rollercoasters that day. I actually blogged about this day as well: Click Here To Go To Mary's Main Blog Page
More HIM, less of ME! When I have conversations with the Lord, memorize His word, Read His word I walk in Freedom. When I hang onto "MY" rights I am in bondage. But the enemy tells me that it feels GOOD to embrace my anger, my rights.
Lord, will you continue to show me the lies of the enemy, will you show me when I am having a conversation with anyone but "YOU"!?
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Feb. 17, 2008 -
I gained 5 pounds. That makes a total loss of 25 pounds.
"Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard
of love, for the grapevines are blossoming" SOS 2:15
This verse sums up what has happened. If you know anything about foxes
they will get into your vineyard, your garden and slowly, one piece at
a time steal your fruit, your crop. That is exactly what I let happen
lately with my diet. It started with me thinking I didn't need to
journal anymore and then I didn't need to weigh my meat because I could
just eyeball it, then I had a diet coke one night and it didn't slow my
weight loss down so I started having them more and more often, then it
wouldn't kill me to have some bacon as part of my meat, then I started
using REAL salad dressing instead of olive oil and sea salt..., you get
the picture. By the end of this little excursion my diet did not even
resemble what is was supposed to look like. I had tweaked so much I
had made it something totally different.
I was so over Matol that I had made up my mind I wanted to switch to
weight Watchers. Truly I thought this would be a good idea because
after doing matol for this long it would be a treat to count points and
eat FOOD! (smile) I had made my mind up that I would give Matol one
more month and if I couldn't get back on track I would switch programs.
Then I talked with my friend Christa and she said, "Mary, I don't
think you need to start a whole new race with a whole new diet. I
think you need to pray and ask the Lord to give you a second wind,
using the diet your on" She then went onto tell me about her friend
Stephanie (I love her too) and how she is getting ready to run a
marathon next year at Disney. She said they place your friends and
family strategically to cheer you on right when your ready to quit and
that SHE was going to cheer me on, NOT to quit Matol, but to keep
going. She was going to pray that the Lord would give me a second
wind.
I am sinking my whole heart and head around that one thought. Not even
thinking about the possibility of where I'll go if what I'm using
doesn't work. This spoke so much to my heart. Then as I was reading
from Revelation yesterday in my "Revelation Teen Class" I came across
THIS verse, "Go back to what you heard and believed at first; hold to
it firmly"! Revelation 3:3a WHOA!
So as I sit here typing this out to you I have taken my Matol
supplements, had my chocolate cake protein and I'm getting ready to
journal. I am also drinking my first glass of water! Praise the Lord
that HE tells me, "Forgetting about yesterday, straining towards
TODAY"! (Phil 3:13a) I can't go back and undo, but I am no longer
under condemnation if I seek the Lord with my whole heart and repent
and turn away from my sin! I don't know what the future looks like?
Will I finish my race with Matol? Will I switch over to WW? I
honestly don't know, but what I do know is that right now I am praying
for a second wind, where I'm AT.
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Feb. 17, 2008 -
Proverbs 3:5-7 (New Living Translation)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
*** This year has been such a growing experience for me. I had gotten so comfortable the last few years. With small babies, toddlers and a grandma who had medical issue's I pulled in and stayed close to just a few friends. Then BAM, this year I plugged into the homeschool community like never before. Not just our monthly support group meetings, but co-op, park day, you name it. In the midst of the busyness my quiet time has become not only quiet, but quick. One of the things I LOVE about the Lord (but I don't love feeling it) is that He never lets me get away with going through the motions outwardly. Once you've tasted a true, personal experience, it's impossible to go back!
The question? How do I trust in the Lord with ALL MY HEART? How do I not rely on my own understanding? (which is flawed) How do I seek HIS will with ALL my heart?
The Anwers? I come to Him empty every morning and enter into a time of private worship. I don't mean music worship, though that's fine. I mean where I sit at the feet of my savior with the full knowledge of who HE is. It's a time where I read, talk and most importantly stop, be STILL and listen.
As I pondered what has changed this year, that has made my quiet time harder than it's been in years I realized that in my busyness I was "full" of things and so when I would sit down in the morning to talk with the Lord nothing he had to offer seemed tempting because I had stuffed myself with the busyness of THIS world. My great-grandma used to say that the best seasoning to a meal was HUNGER. Well, that is the one ingredient I've not been bringing as much. Most times I come stuffed.
The sweet woman in my freedom workshop said it perfectly. (loosely paraphrased)
When I'm not in the Word, I start to lean on my OWN understanding and THAT can get me in TROUBLE!
7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
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Dec. 4, 2007 - Dec 4th 2007/ 1st Peter
1 Peter 4:1
Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God!
WOW! I thought this was an amazing verse as I began my new journey with Matol. As I type this out this morning I am day four of the program. In some ways it's a very tough process because you follow their plan EXACTLY, no wiggle room. OTOH, wiggle room was getting me in trouble. When I was tempted I could talk myself into things that always led me down the road to indulging my flesh.
How do I arm myself? Staying in the WORD...., Spending time in Prayer..., Fleeing from tempting situations...., asking others to pray for me.
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Oct. 11, 2007 - Salt and Light Leaders Retreat!
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in Him bears much fruit. For apart from me you can do NOTHING!" John 15:5
Jesus Christ ministered out of the abundance of HIS relationship with the Father! A disciple is a learner and a follower.....,
"Take these things you have leanred and teach them to the faithful men who will teach others also". 1 Timothy 2:2
In other words, You are a disciple now be a disciple "maker"!
The great commission----- (Not the great Ommision)
"And Jesus came up and spoke to the disciples saying, "All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo I am with you ALWAYS, even unto the end of the age." Matt 28-18-20
"Jesus lifted up his eyes to heaven"
God desires us to be face-to-face, personable. We don't always have to have our face on the floor to have a conversation with Him. He's approachable and loving and wants to see our face.
This weekend we had our Annual Salt and Light Leaders retreat. It was a wonderful weekend where we filled up on HIM! One of our assignments happened on Sunday morning. We read, picked apart and dissected John 12. Afterwards we wrote out what this chapter said about being a:
1- Disciple
2- Disciple Maker
3- God
4- Who do YOU say I am
All based on verses from John Chapter 12. Here are some pictures of us writing out our answers and then below are all the answers compiled. I hope you will be as blessed as we were!
What does John Chapter 12 say about being a....,
DISCIPLE
vs 1- Wants any of the glory that comes to them to go back to God, the one who deserves it
vs 2- Has Eternal Life
vs 3- Knows God and Jesus Christ
vs 4- I brought glory to you here on earth by doing everything you told me to do.
vs 4- Completing the Word God gave me
vs 6- Keeps Gods TRUTH
vs 6- No longer in the world (saved)
vs 6- Tell men about God
vs 6- Given men by God
vs 7- Acknowledges that all things come from and belong "to" God (gift from God)
vs 7- Grateful for disciple makers
vs 8- They know it is God who sent "His Vessel" to disciple them.
vs 8- Accepting of HIS Word
vs 8- Passes onto others the Words God gives us.
vs 10- Brings glory to Jesus
vs 10- Glory has come to me (Jesus) through them (disciples)
vs 11- United with our disciplemaker (close contact)
vs 11- Is protected by the power of God's name
vs 11- Kept them safe
vs 12- Guarded them
vs 13- Filled with Joy
vs 13- Have FULL measure of joy
vs 13- Tell them many things
vs 14- World will hate us
vs 14- Give them HIS Word
vs 15- Left in the world but protected from the evil one
vs 15- Prayed for his disciples
vs 17- Pure and Holy through words of truth
vs 17- Read His truth that we may be sanctified and set apart.
vs 17- Share the message
vs 18- Ultimately are to become disciple makers
vs 19- Looks to other people who are set apart by God as an example
vs 19- Entirely Gods
vs 20- Has a testimony! Don't be shy about sharing it
vs 21- Good Example
vs 21- Be with God so that others may know Him. (you can't give away what you don't have)
vs 23- Are made PERFECT in CHRIST
vs 23- In progress
vs 23- Experience such a perfect unity that the world will see the TRUTH
vs 26- Receiving of LOVE
vs 11- Still in this world
BUT
vs 15- Not of this world
What does John Chapter 12 say about being a....,
DISCIPLEMAKER
vs 6- They were in the world and then you gave them to me
vs 18- Sent into the world
vs 26- Keep revealing God
vs 1- Glorifies God
vs 19- Sets himself apart as an example
vs 21- Stays in fellowship w/ God
vs 22- Given them the glory you have given me
vs 24- Want those you have given me to be where I'm at
vs 1- Speaks to God
vs 2- Has God's authority to speak on His behalf to others of the message of the cross
vs 4- Does the work God gives her to do
vs 6- Reveals God to those God gives
vs 11- Lives for the eternal
vs 12- Keeps others in God's presence
vs 23- Sent by God
vs 8- Gives people the words that God gives them
vs 13- Speaks to fill others with joy
vs 14- Give them the Word- The Bible
vs 26- Makes known the name of the Lord and continue to do so
vs 12- Guard your disciples so they do not get lost
vs 22- Desire them to have the relationship you have with the Lord
vs 23- Brings understanding of unity peace and love
vs 20- Trains disciples to be disciplemakers
vs 14- Give them His Word
vs 15- Prays for their disciples
vs 17- Teach the ways of Truth
vs 17- Pure & Holy
vs 1- Prayerful/sacrificial
vs 4- Brings glory to God by obeying
vs 5- Submissive
vs 6- Responsible before God
vs 6- Keep His Word
vs 8- Using His Words
vs 9- Prayerful for those in Gods care. (and our care)
vs 12- Keep safe spiritually/ Guards teh flock
vs 12- guiding
vs 13- Teaching
vs 14- His words not ours
vs 18- Listening
vs 19- Devoted
vs 21- Out of the abundance of our relationship comes the disciples relationship
vs 22- Pour our lives into people
vs 23- In process
vs 25- We know our father/ relationship
vs 26- Example + KEEPS ON
vs 26- Expressing His love
vs 18- Send them into the world
vs 19- Gives self entirely to God
vs 20- Pray for the lost
vs 21- Pray tht they would be one (Unity)
vs 26- Reveals God and keeps on revealing God
vs 3- Knows God and Jesus
vs 2- Has eternal life
vs 4- Brings glory to God by completing the word given by God
vs 6- Reveals God to those given
vs 7- All he has is from God
vs 8- Gives out the word God gives Him
vs 8- Comes from God and is sent by God
vs 9- Prays for his disciples
vs 16- Is not of this world
vs 19- Is sanctified
vs 21- Is in Christ and God
vs 22- Is given Glory by God
vs 19- Gives himself
vs 12- Protects his disciples
vs 1- Doesn't look only at how the circumstances effect them, but can see how it glorifies God and helps others.
vs 11- Can leave when God says its time to go because they are sure they got others to God and not themselves.
What does John Chapter 12 say about being a....,
GOD
vs 6- Leads people to us to be discipled.
vs 11- Keeps those that are in His care. (we don't have to worry they/we will be snatched from HIS hand)
vs 15- He WILL keep us from the evil one
vs 23- Loves us as much as He loves His son!!!
vs 17- Makes us pure and Holy through His words of truth
vs 2- Gave Jesus authority over all people
vs 7- Gives eternal life to those God called
vs 8- God reveals himself through Jesus Words
vs 11- Protects us through the power of the name of Jesus
vs 17- Sanctifies us
vs 21- God is in Jesus
vs 22- Gave Jesus His Glory
vs 18- Makes us Holy
vs 3- True God
vs 2- Gave Jesus authority over everyone
vs 18- Teaches us the Word
vs 25- Righteous Father
vs 23- Loves us as much as HIS son
vs 11- Brings unity to disciples
vs 15- Glorifies His Son
vs 2- Gives eternal life
vs 3, 8- Sent Jesus
vs 7- Gives all things
vs 4- God gives us work to do
vs 12- God reveals things through scripture and fulfills His promises
vs 18- Sent Jesus to us
vs 22- Gives Glory
vs 25- Not known to all
vs 2- Gives authority/ gives eternal life
vs 4- All knowing
vs 6- He sends the people
vs 10- Sole care giver (SOUL)
vs 10- Solely responsible
vs 11- Keeping us in His care/ caregiver
vs 2- Give us gifts and talents in order to bring the lost to Him
vs 3- Desires us to truly know Him and have a relationship with Him
vs 8- Gives us the Words to speak
vs 9- Listens to our prayers
vs 17- Is Truth
vs 23- Love Us
vs 24- Was always and is always with us
Who do YOU say that I am (What the Word says about God)
vs 26, 23- You are LOVE
vs 7, 8, 9, 10- You are the GIVER
vs 19, 17- You are the SANCTIFIER
vs 17- You give TRUTH
vs 11, 12- You are our PROTECTOR
vs 26, 25- You make yourself KNOWN
vs 26- Because of your love, Jesus is in me as well as the same love you have for Christ in me.
vs 5, 7, 19- The glorious one, who shared in God's glory, who gave His life as a sacrifice, so that we could be one with God and know God's Glory in our life.
vs 19- The REDEEMER who sets His own apart by His TRUTH and His WORD
vs 16- THE GREAT GIFT GIVER! (16 times in chapter 17 you use the word gave, gift, or given)
vs 4- Your Worker
vs 6- Your Witness
vs 14- Not of this World
vs 17- Sanctified
vs 5- The great teacher in all things
vs 26- LOVE
vs 2&3- Giver of Eternal life
vs 1 & 5- Glorious
vs 2- My Authority
vs 9- My prayer warrior
vs 10- My Keeper
vs 13- My joy-FILLER
vs 14- Not of this World
vs 21- One with the Father
vs 22- Giver of Glory
vs 24- Intimate: He "wants" me
vs 24- Not a "Part time" lover.
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Oct. 11, 2007 - Welcome to Cyber Salt and Light!
Welcome!
We are SOOO glad you are here and look forward to getting to know you better. Salt and Light Bible study is simple! All you need is your bible, a pen, journal (unless you want to journal in your bible) and a spiral bound index card holder such as this: *** LINK ***
To get started please go to
*** LINK *** THEN.......,
1- Click on the Where Do I Begin tab and print.
2- Read everything.
3- Make a committment that no matter what you will set aside time everyday. Make it your priority. (even if it's just 10mins)
4- Begin with day ONE reading and follow the format all the way through. (smile)
NOTE: Make sure you read relationally. Don't just read, PERSONALIZE what your reading as though God is speaking to you, and YOU alone! Talk back to Him with Praise when your heart is blessed by the words, with questions when you don't understand. He WILL answer. Don't feel like you have to pretend to be something your not, just talk to him like you would your friend.
Lastly, there is no specific start and stop. (other than the first 4 days) You read until the Lord speaks to you or until you feel FULL! Make sure you write your memory verse down and carry it with you. You can practice while you do dishes, at red lights, in the doctors office, you name it!
We share on Tuesday. If all you can do is send YOUR share in that's ok and then thru the week you can take your time reading others shares. There is no pressure to respond to everyone. Just the ones the Lord leads you to. Please DO stop and pray when there is a prayer request and know that we will do the same for you. We ARE Better TOGETHER!!!
(((Big Warm Welcome Hugs)))
Mary
