 |
  |
| online flowers |
Apr. 8, 2008 - 1-14--08 Weekly Share
"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me" and my heart has responded, "Lord I am coming"! Psalm 27:8
I am going to share something very embrassing that happened this week. I pondered this and realized that though embarassing, I'm not stuck there and it glorifies the Father. (It's when you read about my conversations)
The above verse is my memory verse this week. It's actually the one we are memorizing for my Freedom Workshop. (FW is the pre-curser to Salt and Light groups locally. It's a 6 week workshop that primes and prepares us for S&L)
FW= Freedom Workshop
One of the first things we learn in FW is NOT to have conversations with ourselves or others but to change our audience and have it with HIM. We are not to pretty it up or change it so that we can pretend to be what were not. If we're angry we take that anger with us, but we are dumping it out before the Lord because only "HE" can truly change our heart from the inside out. However, it's not as easy as it sounds because we've been taught to "PLAY" christian for so long. This sounds so much easier than it actually is.
Add to that..., statistically when a woman leaves Freedom Workshop the testing begins. It has happened everytime to myself and my friends. So the memory verse above is the reminder NOT to have the conversation with myself but to have it with the Lord.
I'd like to share some instances from this past week where I had to work hard not to go back to the old habit of having a conversation with myself and to instead talk with the Lord.
You'll find 2 victories and one OOPS. (smile) I have found conversations with myself cause me to feel sorry for myself. I become the victim, poor me. Conversations with the Lord bring victory from each individual situation.
1- The first day of FW was a crazy one for me. It happened to be my husbands birthday AND my monthly support group I lead was that night. I left the church with all the boys and ran to the store to buy Scott Sushi, chips and Cherry coke. (his personal favs)
I dropped the boys off and had Colton make their lunch while I ran to the church to set up and do sound checks for the monthly meeting. I left and came home and had approx one hour to put my feet up before it was time to start getting ready for our homeschool support group mtg. I got ready, fed and kissed my husband and went to do the group. Now here's the cool part. Instead, of feeling like a victim to my busy day, I felt ENERGIZED, FULL and EXCITED! I didn't get home until after 10pm and it turned out to be an AMAZING day! I actually blogged about it and homeschool moms there's some fun pictures and great info for you: Click To Go To Mary's Main Blog Page
2- Thursday was my weekly weigh in with my diet coach. I forgot to remember about the having the conversation with the Lord and instead started off having a MAJOR gripe session with myself. You see, I am doing a diet that promises you will lose 3-5 pounds per week and for the previous 2 weeks it had been 2 and 2 1/2. I woke up in angry because I had weighed myself and it was only showing on my scale a 2 pound loss. Which I know is good, but this diet is expensive AND my friends who were doing Weight Watchers were able to eat when I was saying no and losing more weight than me. I started telling my coach off in my mind. By the time my friend Brenda picked me up I changed my audience from having a conversation with myself to having a conversation with HER. By the time we got to my coach's house I was angry. Poor man, it was all directed at him. Imagine my surprise when his scale showed I HAD lost the 3 pound guaranteed? (roll eyes)
Later my friends really got a hold of me and reminded me to see the big picture. 23.5 pounds in 6 weeks. I believe had I taken this to the Lord He would have rescued me from myself before it got to the point it did. I actually still told my coach how upset I was and was a little heated. I can still hear Brenda nervously giggling as she said, "Alrighty then". (giggle)
3- This one is a bit embarrassing but it glorifies the Lord so I will include it. Friday my family and I went to Busch Gardens. (we have annual passes) My oldest son wanted me to ride Montu (rollercoaster) with him, but I told them I wouldn't. I remember it being a tight squeeze ten years ago. Because the coaster flips and flies all over the place it has a big shoulder bar that comes down over your chest and then a seatbelt that goes between your legs to fasten to the harness and I know I weighed at least ten pounds less.
However, after my husband rode it he swore that it would not be a big deal and even pulled the whole mom guilt card about Brandon overcoming his fears of rollercoasters and wanting me to ride it with him.
I stopped my dh as we were walking towards the line and explained that I would be horrified if I got up there and it didn't fit. He ensured me that wouldn't happen. Guess What? The truth is I could have had one of the helpers PUSH it down really hard and snap it, but the thought of flying 60mph, down hills, upside down 6 different times did not give me the confidence that I wanted to be squished in. I tried but could not get it to fasten on my own. I ended up having to get off. (oh my goodness)
The truth, is it was not as big a deal as I thought it would be. Everyone was so busy fastening themselves in and because it's a rollercoaster that the seats hang from the top, they didn't even really know what had happened.
I remembered feeling ANGRY at my husband. (who has been my biggest encourager and cheerleader) This was all HIS fault. If he hadn't made me...., you get the picture. As I was walking down the steps to find him, I find myself wanting to "milk" this? He felt so horrible and could not BELIEVE that it didn't fit. As he profusely apologized I knew I had a choice...., a) Make him feel guilty or b) offer him grace!
Though it was a fight I took the conversation to the Lord and ended up having an AMAZING day! My husband and I are going back on February 13th for our 20th anniversary. We went to Busch Gardens for our honeymoon and so it will be a wonderful re-union. We plan to ride all the rollercoasters that day. I actually blogged about this day as well: Click Here To Go To Mary's Main Blog Page
More HIM, less of ME! When I have conversations with the Lord, memorize His word, Read His word I walk in Freedom. When I hang onto "MY" rights I am in bondage. But the enemy tells me that it feels GOOD to embrace my anger, my rights.
Lord, will you continue to show me the lies of the enemy, will you show me when I am having a conversation with anyone but "YOU"!?
