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Apr. 8, 2008 - 2-19=08
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"! Phil 4:13
Last Thursday was my 20th wedding anniversary. To celebrate we went to Busch Gardens. It brings a smile to my face to see how the Lord worked it out.
Because you see, 20 years ago Scott had just gotten hired with the Sheriff's office and was not allowed to miss any days, and so rather than going on the cruise we had originally planned we went to Busch Gardens. How cool it was to be celebrating at the same place we had spent our honeymoon, but 20 years later! Back in 1988 I was a 19 year old new bride and this time I was a 39 year old mom of four. I thanked the Lord because I love my husband even MORE all these years later!
As we were driving over to Busch Gardens I started thinking about Sheikra the rollercoaster. I knew that Scott wanted me to ride this with him and I thought about how FUN it would be to let go and just do it. It would give us a shared experience. But being as deathly afraid of heights as I am, I started to feel the wall of fear permeate every fiber of my being. I'm not being dramatic, even the thought of riding this particular ride threw me into a panic attack.
I started thinking back to the last time I was there and how I was so scared that I felt dizzy and short of breath, so much so I just walked right through the coaster to the other side and out of the building.
I started praying. One of the things you learn in the Freedom workshop is that God can work with a "Want-To". So I prayed and it went something like this....,
"Lord, I really WANT to ride this coaster. I know that once I do it I'll be fine, but the fear is so great. Right now I feel like it's never going to happen because it makes me physically ill even contemplating it, but I've also learned that YOU love to work with "Want-To's" and so I am asking if there is anyway you could supernaturally take away my fear and let me enjoy this day w/ my hubby".
All the way across the bridge, (Pinellas is on a Pennisula for my out of state freinds) I kept silently praying this while Scott and I talked. He told me that he would love for me to ride it but that there was no pressure. (He knows if pressured I'll run) Then he said, "I sure hope you can ride it because what better way to commemerate our 20 years together!" (He knows as a Betty I can be very sentimental, sneaky boy) When we were still MILES away I could see the coaster sticking out higher than any of the other buildings, my knees went weak, my heart accelerated. I told him that I was pretty sure that I could not ride this and started apologizing.
Fast Forward to the park:
We went right to the Sheikra. I said, I'll tell you what I will get in line if you promise not to get mad at me if I cannot do it and need to walk off again? He said no problem. I started relationally praying Phil 4:13..., "Your word tells me that I can do this WITH YOU Lord. This is just a silly roller coaster, but it's so high, so tall, but I know that I can do this if you will supernaturally intervene." We got into line and the loud speakers kept saying those dumb things all fast rides say, "If you have heart disease, are pregnant or not in good general health you should not ride this. OUr speeds exceed 70mph.
Then out of nowhere this lady Janelle and her 12 year old son Jacob walk up behind us and we look at each other and nervously giggle. I started up a conversation. (I have no idea what I said I was so nervous) but I do remember her sharing that she was nervous and had never ridden. We started talking about how they were visiting from Maine and before I knew it we had hit it off. I was telling her that I had not met one person who had ever ridden it who said they wished they hadn't. Every single person said you have to ride it again. As I began to try to make her (and more importantly her 12 year old) feel better, I started to feel the cobwebs of fear pull away from head and my heart.
Next thing I know I am strapped in leaning all the way back going up the big 200 foot hill. All you can hear is nervous laughter and click, click, click, click, click of the coaster. I looked straight into the heavens and with a fiery EXCITEMENT I thought..., I can DO THIS! We got to the top where I had planned to close my eyes because I didn't want to see the entire city that far up and I was completely at peace, looking around pointing at things, talking with my husband and Janelle and even Jacob. I yelled out, "WOOOOOHOOOOOO"?! (WHAT?)
It STOPS at the top and S-L-O-W-L-Y creeps out and has you hang face down so that you are staring at the ground for 3 full seconds before dropping you. You can see people down there trying to look up and there all shaking their heads "NO WAY". For just a minute I think, "I want off, I want off" and then you hear a BIG CLICK and you FREE FALL to the bottom. It totally freaked me out, but as we climbed up the other side and then spun upside down I found myself screaming excitedly with everyone else. I have never felt such elation. My husband was trying to high five me but the force of 70 mph doesn't make that very easy, LOL!
As we went down another hill and spun around I cried out to the Lord with my Thankfulness. He didn't just get me through it. He helped me EMBRACE it. That I could stare out and have a conversation at the top was only something the Lord could do. I Ended up riding it a total of FIVE times!
Later after I got home the Lord showed me something significant. He showed me that I had been so focused on my fear that I wasn't seeing anything else. I kept thinking about being at the top of the hill and what if I totally freaked out and there was no going back. I didn't think about the FUN, or what it was going to feel like afterwards. I was so stuck on the hill. I thought how many times do I do that in my day to day life. I'll eat what I'm not supposed to right now because I'm focused on being where I'm at. I don't look beyond to see what victory will feel like.
If you promise not to laugh at me you MUST see the picture of my face as I came down the hill. My husband bought it for me. You can see the fear. I wish we had bought a picture from the other four times because THOSE times my mouth was hanging open and there was a smile. But NOT the first one! (smile)
The Lord was faithful to take my Want-To and turn it into a VICTORY! If you look at the picture I scanned of the Sheikra you will see the highest part. That is where God was performing a miracle in my heart. Teaching me that I really can do all things through him!
Click Here to See Pictures
