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Apr. 8, 2008 - 2-26-08 Weekly Share
"My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me" and my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming"! Psalm 27:8
One of the first things you learn in the Freedom Workshop is how dangerous having conversations with ourselves can be. It's such a habit. We rehearse and discuss everything with ourself. Here's the problem. When I am having a conversation with myself and not with the Lord I am leaving room for "lies" to permeate my thinking. I don't even recognize them. I know that most people would understand this as we've all done it. Examples:
You think, someone else is thinking...., (fill in the blank) DANGEROUS, this is SO dangerous! How many times have I accused someone of something (in my heart) based on no facts? (Jane Smith doesn't like me because she thinks I'm too talkative. Sarah Jane wishes I wasn't coming to the party because park day she wasn't talking to me, you get the picture)
However, if I change my audience, I can have those SAME conversations with the Lord. I don't have to play christian and pretty it up, I just change my audience. (He doesn't mind if I go to him infected and angry. I can't infect God with my sin!) But HE can supernaturally give me HIS perfect peace, He can supernaturally help my spirit recognize a lie I am believing, He can counsel me with HIS word which is absolute TRUTH..., "IF" and ONLY "IF" I go to HIM w/ my conversations.
This past week I was found to be believing a LIE on two occassions. Once I recognized this I could have just *THUNKED* myself on the forehead!? Why do I forget to remember?
(Note, I am aware there are WP users here. I almost didn't share this first example because it's very embarrassing and humbling, but I am going to trust the Lord and send this, praying that it touches someone else's heart)
As most of you know, the Lord had me leave WinterPromise curriculum this year. It was a very hard decision for many reasons. But the two biggies were:
1- I was afraid it would effect my realtionship with Karen as we had come to build a friendship over the past two years. We had spent long conversations talking about our children, praying together, sharing our thoughts on family, homeschooling, our walk with the Lord.
2- I was afraid to leave my cyber community I had come to love.
Well, the cyber community was WONDERFUL! They said goodbye and sent smooches and personal e-mails. I felt so loved. However, I e-mailed a long, heartfelt e-mail to Karen Brooks and had not heard back for almost 3 weeks. As each day and then week went by, I began to put together that Karen was upset that I was leaving WP. I kept floating between hurt and anger and then Friday, I got an e-mail that she was on her way out of town and had received my e-mail and couldn't wait to catch up. She's going to call when she gets back. *ACK* I spent three weeks of my life worrying over something that was not true. In my heart I had accused her and taken offense over something that just wasn't true....., "My heart has heard you say, "come and talk with me.", my heart response, "Lord, I am COMING"! Oh may this situation remind me to always run to HIM!
Second Scenerio
The Second thing that happened was my dad. I began to worry over his cancer. I heard what the doctors had said. He had inoperable colon cancer. I had him down as dying. I started planning for the funeral. I started thinking about what I would say, what I would wear, wondering how long I had with him? How would I spend his last days with him? On and on and on I went. I mean I did pray for him and about this situation, but I was having WAY more conversations with myself than with the Lord....., "My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with.", My heart responds, "Lord, I am coming"!
Father, please forgive me for the many lies I've believed over the years that were never true, that I'm not even aware of? Remind me when I am having conversation with anyone but you. Change my heart, make me more like YOU!
