It has definitely been a whirlwind week here at our home.  We had a really nice vacation, and I have pictures and cool things to share, but that will be next post.  It has been an eventful, emotional week being home. 

We got home from Florida on Tuesday about 5:00 pm.  My parents had been here pet sitting, so we unloaded and visited with them.  They left about 3:00 Wed., and the rest of the day was spent washing mounds of clothes.  Also on Tuesday night, I got a message from a searcher we had hired that she had found and talked to Daniella's birthmother. 

Thursday, in addition to continuing the clothes mounds, I had to go shopping with Briana for about 2 hours.  I came in changed clothes and immediately left with Daniella to go to a wedding dress rehearsal where she was a flower girl.  That was 5:00-6:30. 

The wedding was on Friday, and by the time we were early for pictures and went to the reception, Daniella and I were there from 4:00-10:30.  The rest of the family came at 6:00.  Marissa passed out programs for the wedding. 

Saturday, I had to take Briana shopping again in the town about 45 min away.  We left just after lunch, and didn't get home until around 7:00.  On Sunday evening, I had to drive to my parents' house about 2 hours away, and we stayed there for 2 nights. 

The reason for all of the shopping and going to my parents' house is that while we were on vacation, Briana decided she was moving in with them.  Since she decided that she wanted to change her major to musical theater, and we didn't have enough time to get scholarships for a new college for this year, she has been trying to decide what she wanted to do with this school year.  She has been praying about going to the playhouse near my parents' house where she loves going to musical theater/dance camp every summer.  She decided while we were in FL that that is what she wanted to do.  The problem was that the classes started while we were still in FL, so we had to get everything done as soon as we got home for her to start yesterday.  We had not started doing any dorm room shopping or anything when she changed her major in July, and she needed some things and wanted to personalize the room a little. 

I hesitate to say this because she may read this blog, but we aren't handling it too well at home.  I knew it would be hard, but we all think that one reason it's so hard is that we didn't have any mental time to prepare.  It all happened so fast and sudden that it really did feel like a whirlwind, and now there's just a big knot in my stomach and a hole in our hearts.  The other thing that we agree we didn't have time to think of and prepare for is that we (Ashley, James, and I) suddenly realized yesterday that this is it.  This changes our family probably forever.  Nothing will ever be like it was before.  It's really hard, ladies.  I can't even type it without crying.  Now, I know we will all survive it.  I know gillions have done it before us, but that doesn't change it.  It was just too sudden of a change to comprehend that fast.  I know it will get better as we go along. 

This is going to be a very generalized statement that is obviously not always true, but I think (generally!) that it is probably a harder change on homeschool families.  We have our children with us almost 24/7 for 18 years.  We do everything together, making memories in almost every little event and routine thing we do.  The seperation is bound to be harder.  We will get to see her several times the rest of this year, and she gets 2 fall breaks, but it's the daily little things that you miss. 

I'm sure it's hard for Briana, too.  She suddenly has no sisters with her.  She does know a few of the girls in her classes already from camp, and I think they are being nice to her~one in particular has made her feel welcome.  And, she loves the ballet teachers.  But, those girls are younger than she is (15-16), and I don't know how much contact she will have with them outside of classes.  She also went from a noisy, busy, full house to a very quiet one. 

Her evenings will be very full. 

Monday 6-8: ballet/pointe
Tues.  6-8  modern and tap
Wed.  6-8  ballet/pointe
Thurs. 7:15-8:15 jazz
Fri (time determined this week) Musical theater
She will also be adding private voice lessons, hopefully, next week.

So, this is why you haven't heard from me.  Since I wrote the first part, I've had my good cry for the morning, so I'm feeling better for a while anyway! 

I'll leave with some sweet pictures of my beautiful flower girl~

Those were a lot of steps for 4 little feet.

Relaxing between the photos and the ceremony.  The other flower girl is 4, and is Daniella's little buddy from church.  Daniella is doing math~at her request. 

Letitia

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Posted by denisebp

What sweet pictures!!

Continuing to pray for you, Letitia...

Hugs,
Denise

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Posted by tn3jcarter

I could just cry with you. If it helps at all, one of my homeschool friends who has graduated 4 kids now said that when hers went to college, it changed things, but the bond was still there. They still called for help with homework, they would call or email to talk about their day with her, etc...

The totally weird thing though is that I had this totally bizarro upsetting dream last week that something happened with us and it was just hurriedly decided that all of the boys need to go to public school. It all happened so fast that I didn't even have time to really get all their school supplies together and then I was crying as I was trying make lunches to send with them because I realized that in that moment everything had changed and I just kept remembering all of the things that I needed to tell them because it was all going to be new to them, but it was all rushed because they were going to be late for school.

It was a horrible dream. I'm not sure if I had it because I'm still trying to get things organized for this year or what, but remembering it still upsets me. I can only imagine what all of that last-minute shopping and hurriedly saying goodbye was like in real life.

((Hugs)) and prayers to you dear sister. (And I want to hear more about Daniella's birth mother!) Daniella looked gorgeous in her flower girl dress!

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Posted by 4sweetums

What a crazy couple of weeks. I do not look forward to going through that at all. I pray that you will all adjust soon.
Blessings,
Dawn

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Posted by Maria

Dear Letitia-
I am just catching up here.
I can imagine how hard it is. You know I had a VERY difficult summer two years ago so with my oldest leaving home. Your circumstances are better than mine but I am sure it is still not easy. I am sad with you!!!
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I still want to get together to go to Dollywood but I would like it to be a little cooler.
Love,
Maria

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Posted by ReviewsbyHeidi

I've got tears for you.
How hard and how sudden! And I totally agree that it is SO MUCH WORSE for us homeschooling moms. I don't care how much anyone wants to argue, I know it's true. I experienced a small part of it when Ashley was in 2nd grade and i sent her to school - I cried all day, every day, for a week!
I'm praying for you, my friend!
Heidi

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Posted by Anonymous

Starting with a BIG hug and then I will pray, okay?

Father,

I thank you for Letitia and her family. I thank you for all the years of homeschooling, that you were there in their midst guiding their every breath and step. I thank you for the obvious love and care for each other that you have blessed them with. Time seems, at the moment to be spinning out of control, the spinning has sent in sorrow and heaviness of spirit for Letitia.

I pray Lord, that you would cover not only Brianna in her studies. but with every step that she takes, whether in dance, drama or in the ordinary things of this life, that You would be with her. That your Spirit that resides inside of her would bloom and grow, that the love she has for her mum and her family would deepen and ripen, as a seed planted in good soil does. Letitia has watered this seed in Brianna, we know you are the only one who can bring growth and harvest.
I ask You to come beside them, in this moment of time, and BE their God. Be the Father, who gently speaks words of love and encouragement, be the Savior who knows every ounce of pain and sorrow they are feeling, Holy Spirit, be their comfortor-surround them with encouragement. And as this moment begins to slip into the next, flood them with joy unspeakable, joy that could only come from You -so they won't be mistaken by Who their help comes from.

Bless them Father and cover them with Your Wings.
In Jesus Name, amen.

Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

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Posted by Annemarie

Oh my.
I won't be able to respond without crying myself. Because I know almost exactly what Briana is going through and am getting a glimpse of what I will go through in, what will be, a few short years.

OK, that's all I can say or I am going to lose it. I am hurting with you and praying for you all as you adjust to this huge change.

~Annemarie

ps. Re: your comment on my blog
Unfortunately, I can totally see someone there saying something that stupid and unbiblical. So, so, so sad that people teach that stuff as if it were true.

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Posted by HomeintheMitten

{{{{Letitia}}}}}

I am so sad to read of your heavy and hurting mama's heart. I know this feeling very keenly (with our oldest a senior in college and our second oldest in Africa for a year!!!!!) and ache with you. It is very hard to suddenly face that gap and absence. For me, when our daughter left for Africa, it's almost been like a death in a way. We still communicate very frequently (get Skype!!) and keep up on one another, but it's not the same. The laundry loads are smaller, there are less plates on the table, I miss waking her up in the morning with my usual "rise and shine!" and the list goes on. I know the ache and I will pray for all of you, but particularly for you. The Lord has been an amazing sustainer for me -- I cry out to Him daily for our family and for our daughters. He is faithful, He is present there and here, He is able to touch the lonely ache in my heart and yours! He is good!

Praying, Julie

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Posted by jiffy11

Oh, my heart goes out to you. With my two oldest daughters in Florida for 3 weeks I've found myself missing them more and more each day. I am also noticing my younger two starting to have behavior issues...I think they are missing their sisters as well.(Friday will be 2 weeks that they've been gone.) With this huge amount of time that the girls have been gone I have found myself occasionally thinking into the future about how hard it is going to be to let them go when the time comes. I know this is a very bitter-sweet time for you all. You've been preparing her for this moment for 18 years, but it is so hard to let go. Hugs to you!
I also wanted to tell you that I have included you in my first awards ceremony! I enjoy your blog so much!
Jennifer

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Posted by Juliestew

So great that you guys have been traveling and NOT at school yet. Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. Tell your daughter I can so feel what she's going through right now. The times God takes others away so that we can more fully focus on him are lonely but I always walk away with a deeper understanding of who HE is.
Julie

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Posted by trustingdaily

Hi Letitia,
Thank you for commenting! You've reminded me that other folks DO read my blog and perhaps wonder what in the world is going on! LOL...I am slowly moving my posts to Blogger. Way back when, I started there and more recently have set up my photography blog there. I've found that it's an easier format for me since I post so many pictures. I haven't gotten all the template stuff figured out, but it's very user friendly as far as pictures go.

I don't know how to back up my blog here on HSB so it's taking me a long time to transfer my posts. There's so many I don't want to loose. I'm learning through this that I really should be journaling in Word or Excel and just transferring the posts.

My heart is sad for your family as I've read your post. I'm sure there is lonliness on both sides. There are many things swirling around in my heart about my own kids as their needs are changing as they mature. God is always doing something, isn't He?

Please come visit me over there sometime!
http://www.trustingdaily.blogspot.com

With love, hugs, and prayers...
Angela

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Posted by Bahamahomeschooler

thanks for the note! I see you have been busy too. i am praying for you as you adjust to lifes changes. WE had a great summer and are in our 2nd week of school. Enjoying it too, which is good. Well I am off to check chores. Have a great weekend.

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Posted by Momof5littlewomen

Wow, you have been a little busy and I am sure it has been hard emotionally. My mom will mention often the last trip we took together as a family because, you are right, it does change your family. I can also agree with your thought that it is harder on homeschooling families who are together constantly. I hope you are adjusting well! I know I have mixed feelings to those future days.

June

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Posted by Juldos

You have been on my heart and in my prayers, and now I know why. I'm sending you hugs and will continue to lift you up in prayer.
Julie

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Posted by my2kids4Him

I am sorry your family is going through this hard time. I can get choked up just thinking about my dd graduating and moving on....and she's only in 9th. But I am aware of how fast the time flies. I will say a prayer for your family. I don't remember reading how far from you she is?
On another note, I am near you right now. We are in Chattanooga until tomorrow and then we'll be in Gatlinburg until Fri. or Sat. And we have seen LOTS of rain. It's put a damper on our vacation, but we're still enjoying it.
Yesterday we did the Incline Railway and Rock City. We managed to see Rock City before the rain started. Today we went to Ruby Falls but they were closed....and I purchased our tickets online....and they're non refundable:((
Tonight we have reservations for the dinner cruise on the Southern Belle, so we're looking forward to that. Tomorrow our plan is to go the Lost Sea before heading to Gatlinburg.

Forgot to say, your little flower girl looks beautiful!

Blessings to your family!

Edited by my2kids4Him on Aug. 26, 2008 at 2:37 PM

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Posted by AcceptanceWithJoy

Letitia, I am so sorry I missed that you were grieving for your daughter's move. I will pray for you as you watch her use her wings to fly ~

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