It's been a rough couple weeks.  A couple days before Thanksgiving, I started spotting.  I went to the doctor but he didn't know anything for sure and he said to wait it out, it may stop.  Unfortunately, it didn't stop.  I woke up early Thanksgiving morning with regular contractions and miscarried that morning about 4:30.  I was 12 weeks 4 days along.  I didn't go back to the doctor.  I know all the warning signs, I need to go in if I get a fever or have prolonged bleeding.  I haven't had either, thankfully!

Miscarrying at this far along was devastating to say the least!  I had long enough to really plan and dream for this baby and all those dreams were dashed.  I had just a few more days until I was in the next trimester, in that zone that most mothers feel safe.  I have to admit, I ALREADY felt safe.  I didn't expect or even suspect that this pregnancy would end in miscarriage.  I felt like such an unstable basketcase for the first week after it happened!  You would never know when I'd cry or when I'd be OK.  You never know what would be said to upset me.  I'm grieving the loss of my child and it's so hard for others to think of it that way if they've not been through this themselves.

Luckily, I feel like I'm doing OK now.  I'm of course still very sad about our loss, but I feel more in control of myself.  I've had so many people praying for me during this time of grief.  I've definitely felt all the prayers!  For those of you who have been there for me, I truly appreciate it.  The Lord has helped me through this trying time and I pray that I will learn to be more like Him.  I'm so blessed to have my family and friends surrounding me!