Serenity Academy

Fear

10:37 PM, Feb. 27, 2008 .. Posted in Musings .. 0 comments .. Link

In my last post I mentioned a tooth ache. Well it hasn't gotten any better. And the worst part... dentists scare me to death. I blame very bad experiences when I was a child. I had one dentist who was very cruel and mean. He practically yelled at you if you had a cavity. I also had an orthodontist who was even worse. This guy didn't know what he was doing. I had to go to a different orthodontist and he stated that the first one pretty much screwed up my teeth.

And now here I am sitting in pain... and my body tenses up with even the thought of having to go to one. My heart is literally beating faster as I think about it even as I write. I talk about it with my husband and I'm in tears. This fear is so deep inside of me that I would sit here in pain that is almost unbearable then be at the mercy of an 'evil' dentist.

I've tried and tried to give this fear to God, but it won't leave me. I've prayed and prayed. It the worst moments of the pain I've even called out to Him asking why He's doing this to me. I've asked Him what I've done to deserve this. And then I get mad at myself for blaming it on Him. For all I know he could be using this to get me to the dentist... to face my fears. I don't know. I just know that this fear is killing me almost as much as this pain is.

I know I should make an appointment tomorrow. Maybe it would be better if my husband did it.

Please pray... I could really use it. Both to get rid of this pain and this stupid fear of mine.
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