Growing up, my parents did not get along. Somehow in my heart I'd always hoped that my marriage would be perfect harmony and love all the time. I knew I didn't want the kind of marriage my parents had. When I first got married, I had the influence of a wonderful Christian woman, unfortunately struggling in her marriage as well. I looked up to this woman greatly, and took many pieces of advice from her. I couldn't figure out why my marriage wasn't thriving, why we were disagreeing so much, why every situation just led to fights and frustration.

Then I read an article by a lady that simply stated "your husband has to be the king in your home" It was a light bulb moment for me. I wish someone had told me that years ago... when we were newlyweds and I was still trying to be stubborn and argumentative, before I had been through 8 angry years. The article stated that marriage is a picture of Christ and His relationship to the church. As the "bride", would I be disrespectful to the king in deed or thought? Would I gladly do his bidding and seek to serve him better? These thoughts turned my marriage back from the lonely road it was headed down.

I know some people my age who don't understand that my husband comes first, even before the children. They think I'm giving up my independence, or that I should be "taking breaks" away from my home. But the longer I live God's design for marriage, the more He confirms in my heart that I am on the path he has for me. Alone? Maybe without friends sometimes... but I have my husband, who is now the king in our home, and my family. You know, it's funny; since I started making a concious effort to please God and my husband (whether he is there or not) he has started looking at me with that little crooked I-like-you grin again. He's not stressed because he knows that if he calls and asks me to do something, I will do it right away, not just "if I get around to it". He knows that if he needs a minute of quiet, or notices something that bothers him, I won't get defensive about it, but change it. I tell our children often, "We are going to do this to please daddy, because that is the way he wants things to be."

God's ways are certainly above our ways. I am thankful for his restoration, His love, and His placing the right influences in the way so I'll run into them.

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Posted by Suzanne

As someone who is nine and a half years older than you, I am encouraged by your understanding of your role in and God's place in your marriage. Thank you!!!

Dying to self is so hard to do, huh?

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