I am saddened each time I hear a young lady asking advice on how to live with her husband in peace. For the most part I stay out of these conversations.  How can I advise someone on how to live with a man that I have never met?   I can add no more than what God says in his word. 

The Bible tells us to submit to our own husbands as unto the Lord.  I have seen ladies make the mistake of listening to and obeying someone other than their own husbands and suffering because of it.  Or becoming bitter and discontented because their husband is not like Mrs. ABC's husband.  Being in subjection to our own husbands means that my household and your may look different, but we are both in the will of God.  If one woman's husband refuses to let her handle their family budget, thinking that is his job as the head of the family - that's okay.  If your husband requires that you do this chore, that doesn't mean he is not leading.  This just happens to be his preference and you are submissive if you do this job to the best of your ability. 

I have seen instances of woman believing that their husbands were not leading them, when in fact they were.  For instance, I heard someone IRL say that they asked their husband if he wanted them to wear dresses only.  The husband responded that he didn't care one way or the other, that she should do whatever she was comfortable with.  The wife became upset because her husband would not lead her, or so she thought.  The fact is, he was leading her.  He was delegating this area to her to make a choice. 

There are different types of leaders.  There are those who micro manage everything.  There are those who just want the big picture and leave all the little stuff for their subordinates.  Your husband may be one whose style is to oversee all operations or you may be married to someone who delegates certain areas to you.   One husband may feel that you are stepping over the boundaries by making a decision on which curricula you will use.  Another husband may be bothered by you questioning him about which is better.

We must stop comparing our husbands with others.  If there is a problem, most likely its the way we look at things.  We are commanded to follow our husband's lead whether we happen to agree or disagree with where and how he is leading.  Remember the example of Sara obeying Abraham when he told her to pretend to be his sister?  Can you imagine being part of a harem knowing that you're a married woman?  Yikes!  But she trusted God and He saw to it that she remained faithful to her marriage vows.

It is interesting to note that God uses terms like:  submit, subjection and obey when speaking of wives.  When it comes to husbands its things like love and honour.

It is our responsibility to study and learn our own husbands.  Make sure your life is pleasing to God and to your own husband.  And that is enough. 

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Posted by 2peter318

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