Momma was not a collector of things, but she was a collector of people.    That is how my family came to be.  When her mom remarried, she collected a step father.  When his family came to visit, they deposited his grandson, and mom had a step nephew who was more like a son to her.  When her husband's family came to visit, she saw a little girl in need and collected her.  She then had a daughter.  When this daughter had a child and abandoned her (me) mom had another daughter.  When the neighbors didn't know what to do to save their granddaughter and were watching her die, Momma took the child, carried her to one doctor after another and nursed her back to health.  She then had another daughter.  This child's family used to drop off her brother for Momma to babysit on the weekends while they partied.  One weekend they never came back.  Momma now had another son.  When Momma's 'children' had children, she became a grandma.  (sadly she passed before my children came along).

If you ever hear me speak of brothers, sisters or cousins, these are the people I'm speaking of.  My family is like a patchwork quilt, a little from here, a little from there.  Momma was the thread that held us all together. 

I remember once Momma let me have a party and some friends came by to take down my bedroom furniture, so we would have room to dance.  After the party, a few of the boys stayed behind to put my room back in order and Momma worried about them walking home so late.  She invited them to stay and told me to let out the couch for them to have a comfy place to sleep.  The next morning, she cooked breakfast for everyone and asked the boys how many waffles they wanted.  The look on their faces was priceless when they saw the stack of waffles at each place.  See in Momma's mind, the whole waffle iron contained one waffle.  To them, each square was one waffle.  So each boy had four times the amount of waffles they wanted, some 12 and some 16.  Plus eggs, bacon and grits.  I felt sorry for my friends, wondering how in the world were they going to eat it all.  But somehow, they managed.  They each gave her a hug and kiss and thanked her for such a great time.  And Momma was a happy one that day, having all these hungry boys to feed and rave over her food. 

Momma loved to cook and always cooked a lot more than needed to feed our family.  Whenever anyone visited, she would ask if they were hungry.  If they were, she'd tell them all the same thing:  "I cooked it, but I'm not fixin' your plate.  Go on in the back and get whatever you want."  And countless people did just that in my Momma's kitchen.  When my best girlfriend went on a diet, she decided that she couldn't eat much of Momma's food.  But not wanting to offend Momma, she fixed herself a little saucer of food with a spoonful from each dish.  Momma walked in and said,  "That's not enough food to feed a bird.  Girl you ain't EVER gonna be skinny.  You got big bones.  You're meant to carry more weight.  You gonna make yourself sick.  Now go on and fix yourself a real plate of food."  Now this would offend most folks, but Gloria was like family and understood Momma and her bluntness.  She simply said, "yes ma'am" and got a bit more.

Momma never formally invited anyone over.  Everyone just knew they were welcomed anytime at Momma's house.  Throughout the day and evening there was a constant flow of visitors.  Some visited on the porch, others in the living room and others who'd sit in the kitchen and watch her cook.  She was never too busy for company.  And everyone felt at home there.

Momma wasn't rich, just a bit better off that a lot of our neighbors.  But you couldn't beat my Momma in the giving department.  There was a constant out flow from her house.  Boxes of pecans and other goodies shipped to friends around the neighborhood and the country.  She'd fuss at children climbing her fence to steal fruit and then tell them to just ask.  Then she'd allow them to come in and pick as much as they wanted.  I actually saw that you can't outgive God.  For as much as Momma gave, we never had lack of anything we needed.

Its amazing the memories I have of life with Momma.  She didn't play with me, I lived life with her.  I have many memories of watching her cook, do laundry and hang it out, clean and more.  I have memories of doing all of these things with her, except cooking.  She wasn't having any of that.  But I did spend a lot of time with her.  Learning her ways, how to do things, how to get along with some hornery folks, just how to BE.

Momma was blunt and had a way with words   She'd speak the truth whether you wanted to hear it or not.  But she was never mean.  She taught us to be careful in how you treat people who come to visit, for we'd never know if we were entertaining angels.  She taught us to treat others as we wanted to be treated and leave vengence to the Lord.  She taught us to be givers and let the Lord deal with those who misused the giving.  She taught us to be careful who we hung out with. 

Momma used to tell me that she had been a drinker in her younger years.  She said that one day she decided that she wasn't going to do that anymore and she didn't touch a drink ever again.  Even though she yearly made elderberry wine from her very own berry bush on the side of the house.  She even put alcohol in some of it for her few friends that still drank and expected her to send them their annual bottle.  She taught us that whatever we made up our minds to do, we could with the help of God.  And she taught us to do the best that we could at whatever we had to do.  That life was not about our likes, dislikes or feelings, but about doing what we should do according to the Word of God.  She taught us fear God.

Momma was busy a lot.  She grew apple, peach, black walnut and pecan trees in the back yard.  She had elderberries and figs and chickens growing too.  She sometimes have a vegetable garden, always had flower beds and plants.  And one year, a grape vine.  Her summers were spend canning and freezing in addition to regular household duties.  When she was younger, she also sewed clothes for us girls to wear to school.  She mended and tended to us all.

If anyone was sick in our neighborhood, Momma always sent us out with a plate of food for them.  One summer one of our neighbors had no running water.  Momma sent water to them and allow them to freeze pots of water to have cool water to drink.  When they had no tv, we always invite them over for a Saturday movie night, complete with popcorn.  Such was Momma.

I'm not sure why Momma stopped going to church when I was young.  I remember her sending money for a long time, even when she stopped going.  She always made sure we went though.  But I can say that I have never met anyone who lived more of a Christian lifestyle than she did.  People tell me that I'm a lot like her and I like hearing that, though I know that I'm still a work in progress and a long way from living as she did.  I enjoy running into someone even today and they tell me of the fond memories of Momma.

I have beautiful crocheted, tatted, embroidered items she did when she was young.  I have some of her cookware as well.  The quilts she made are tattered from use though, but I have one I keep in storage.  Some of the dishes I cook today are a reminder of her.  I have the bookcase that I hated dusting as a kid, sitting in my hallway full of books.   Momma wasn't rich and didn't leave a lot of things behind, but she impacted each life she touched and left me with much wisdom.  She showed me rather than teach me how to live a life pleasing to God.  She was truly a Proverbs 31 woman in every way.   I am truly blessed to have had her in my life.

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