Aug. 10, 2005 - Is a Specific "Single-Parent Ministry" Necessary?
Many single parents don't have nearly the support and encouragement they need from church, family, and friends. But I get the impression from some single parents that they think a specific ministry for single parents in their church is a necessary element for improving the situation.
Although I have written about how wonderfully helpful and supportive my own church is, it actually does not have a specific ministry for single parents, though there are several single parents in the church. Two other large churches in our town do have specific ministries for single parents, and there is a city-wide Bible study for singles (not just single parents) on Monday nights, but I have not felt inclined to attend. I'm not saying such ministries are a bad thing--some people benefit greatly from them. But they are not the only way to find fellowship, and they aren't a good fit for me right now.
I guess this is part of my homeschooling philosophy of not age-segregating children in classrooms and not pigeonholing people into little categories. My main fellowship is with the families in our church and with local homeschooling families, most of whom were my friends before my divorce. There are a few single moms I know locally, and we are casual friends, but my closest bonds are with those kindred-spirit friends who happen to be married. Most of them are mothers of my children's friends. I have been blessed with good friendships. I go to a homeschool Mom's Night Out once every few months. I'm in a regular (churchwide) Sunday School class and a regular care group on Wednesday nights (with a wide range of ages--I happen to be the only single currently in our group).
Life as a single parent is definitely hard, and often lonely. That's for sure. No number of close friends and no wonderfully supportive church can prevent those occasional middle-of-the-night waves of loneliness and discouragement. (What IS it about 2:00 a.m.??) But please don't think a single-parent-specific ministry is a crucial element or a cure-all.
Perhaps you could find another family in your church, maybe a homeschooling family, and suggest a picnic together some Saturday afternoon, or lunch after church. What about the folks who were your friends before you became single? Can you rejuvenate some of those friendships?
I'd love to hear other ideas for ways we single parents can take the initiative to develop positive relationships in our churches and communities.
Mary Jo
Comments
Aug. 12, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Janet
Mary Jo,
I find it quite painful to be around most married people, although it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. After coming home in tears after homeschool and church activities, I just learn to keep to myself. I find that most people around here do not care to talk to me to see how I am, they just want to brag about their newly built homes or acquired lands, new diamond rings from their husbands, etc. (It's not that I want these things, but when you cannot buy the basic things you need, diamonds and houses seem like salt in your wounds.) I do try to show much interest in them, but don't get it back from them. I just find it easier to keep to myself. I don't know if they are afraid of asking me, or what it is. It hurts. It makes me feel they have something against divorced people.
