Aug. 11, 2005 - The Value of Community
Homeschoolers are generally independent and self-reliant. After all, we’re taking responsibility for educating our own children—something the majority of folks entrust to others. But sometimes, I think, our self-reliance is valued to the extreme, particularly by those who strongly advocate living far away from anyone else, sometimes to the extent that they seem to be proclaiming country living as somehow more virtuous than living in the town or city.
I don’t mean to open a can of worms here. I am NOT saying that country living is bad! There are great benefits to living in the country, and several of my dear friends live way out in the “middle of nowhere.” It’s perfect for their families (which, by the way, include husbands/fathers who earn a reliable living and help bring up the children). I just don’t believe it’s the only “right” or even the “best” way to live.
After my divorce, when I decided to move to a larger town an hour away in order to be closer to our church, I spent a lot of time debating about where to choose a house. Some folks urged me that living in the country, far away from everyone else, was the only way to go. I looked at houses in the country, on the edge of town, and right inside the city (population about 35,000). I finally settled on a house in town, in a rectangular subdivision (of the sort that I had sometimes been prone to scorn when I was enamored with the country-life vision), about 3 miles from our church and closer than that to grocery stores, gas stations, banks, and the post office. It turned out to be perfect for us. (Thank God for His direction and provision!)
While walking around our neighborhood this morning (before it got unbearably hot, as opposed to merely uncomfortably hot—this is, after all, Mississippi in August), I was reflecting on the benefits of living in a neighborhood. We are on a quiet cul-de-sac with very little traffic, and my boys are able to ride their bikes and scooters in the street. There are neighbors nearby to call on in emergency or even in times of minor need. There are several women home during the day whom my children could call on if needed when my oldest son is caring for his brothers while I am running errands. (So far they haven’t needed to, but it’s nice to know that backup is available.) One neighbor and I swap pet care and mail checking when one of us is out of town. Several of the retired men on our street have helped my son when he has trouble with the lawnmower or weedeater, and one of them has repaired my boys’ scooters and bicycles on several occasions. My two oldest boys have a small business mowing yards, weedeating, and cleaning gutters for nearby neighbors.
This spring, when I had the flu followed by The Stomach Virus That Wouldn’t Die, I was so sick that I couldn’t eat anything I had in the house. I called a neighbor and asked if she would pick up some potatoes and Popsicles for me the next time she went to the store. She stopped by for my list and returned with a large bag of groceries (refusing to let me reimburse her), and later that day she brought over a big pot of homemade potato soup and strawberry Jell-o. Ah, that hit the spot! Friends who live nearby carpool with us to Boy Scout meetings, and other friends give my boys a ride to and from church if I need to stay home with a sick child. None (or little) of this would be possible if I had intentionally isolated myself far from neighbors.
To be honest, I must admit that occasionally the noise of neighborhood children (or leaf blowers!) is annoying. And the glaring street lights keep us from being able to enjoy our telescope. But these minor inconveniences are a small price to pay for the value of community.
Mary Jo
Comments
Aug. 11, 2005 - Serving the LORD in our generations.
Posted by Jinlong
Your thoughtful post put me in mind of a conversation I had with my friend and law partner the other morning. The topic was neither unusual nor "new" but it is one of which it is always nice to be reminded: you can serve the LORD anywhere, in (almost) any job, in any place. All that is required is to seek His will and His Kingdom, and to follow His commandments.
It is equally possible to serve the LORD in any location, at any job and doing any thing that He has commanded you to do. This doesn't mean that we get to make a decision and then claim "see, I am serving the LORD in this." It means we seek Him first, wholeheartedly, and with a desire to imitate those who have served the LORD in generations before us. Beautifully, His plan requires some in the cities, some in the country and some in between. He wants mothers, fathers, doctors, attorneys, teachers and countless others to serve in His Kingdom.
As Deuteronomy 8 states, He has given us the power to make wealth and the blessings and abilities to serve Him - along with the solemn obligation to remember that it is not the strength of our bodies or the works of our hands which have accomplished these things, but Him moving within us and holding up those who could not otherwise stand.
It is not our uniformity that God expects or desires. Obedience is what He asks. We are not all the same - nor, as the Bible points out, should we be. A body made up of noses wouldn't be much of a body, and a world full of people who live only in the country (or the city, or on the sea) would not be the world the LORD has designed. Each to the calling to which he or she was called, to serve the LORD with all possible strength, cheer and good will.
Sep. 22, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
I hope you see this, since you first posted this a month ago, but I just wanted to say: God bless those men who help your sons!!! As a single mom with 2 sons and 2 daughters, I am always on the lookout for opportunities for my older son to learn "manly" things. I'm glad you found the "right" place to be--through God's grace and guidance. Thanks for sharing!
Sep. 22, 2005 - Thanks for your comments!
Posted by SingleParentsAtHome
Jinlong, thanks so much for your well-thought out comments.
Anonymous, yes, I found your comment and appreciate it. I don't know if you read back in the archives of my blog, but since you mentioned you are a single mom, I would encourage you to read the 7-part discussion titled "How You Can Help Single Parents," beginning here:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SingleParentsAtHome/11879/
Feel free to share these ideas with your own church.
Also, I have found Boy Scouts to be a great way for my oldest boys to learn manly skills from godly men (several of them homeschooling fathers).
May God bless you and your children!
Mary Jo Tate