Aug. 23, 2005 - Defending Our Decision to Homeschool
Many of the single-parent homeschoolers on a couple of discussion groups I've joined recently talk about how little support they receive for their decision to homeschool. In fact, some folks are just plain hostile to the idea: "Why don't you grow up, get a job like a normal adult, and put your kids in school, where they belong anyway?"
Although homeschooling is becoming better known and somewhat more widely accepted, it still seems like an off-the-wall choice to many people, and when you combine it with single parenting, I guess it can seem downright wacko.
Isn't it ironic that homeschoolers (single or married) have to "defend" our decision to homeschool? Some people feel so threatened and "judged" simply by the very existence of homeschoolers, as if by our choices we are questioning theirs.
I don't go around telling folks in my neighborhood or my church, "I don't understand how you can possibly send your kids to public school. I just don't have the patience to get my kids ready by 7:00 every morning and help them with homework for hours every night. How can you really be sure they're learning, anyway, when all you get is a report card every 9 weeks? And aren't you worried about socialization? When your kids spend all day in a room with a bunch of other kids the same age, how will they ever learn to function in the real world?"
If homeschoolers actually interrogated public-schoolers about their decision NOT to homeschool the way some feel free to interrogate us about our decision TO homeschool, can you imagine the sparks that would fly? Better have a fire extinguisher handy.
Some of the best advice I've heard for dealing with folks who question your homeschooling is to determine whether they are hostile, simply curious, genuinely concerned for your family's well-being, or perhaps testing the waters to consider homeschooling themselves.
I think it's better not to engage in a debate with the truly hostile, but to have a simple, brief answer readysomething along the lines of "This is what I believe is best for my family"and leave it at that. Just don't take the bait. On the other hand, if someone seems genuinely interested, you might want to go into a bit more detail than you would with questioners who are merely looking to pick a fight. Dealing with the simply curious would fall somewhere in the middle. The genuinely concerned (family members, perhaps, or your pastorthough I realize these folks sometimes fall into the hostile camp) deserve a thoughtful reply.
I'd love to hear your suggestions for how to respond to folks who question your decision to homeschool. Comments welcome!
Mary Jo
Copyright 2005 by Mary Jo Tate
Comments
Aug. 23, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Janet
This is great advice for homeschooling, but also other "debatable" things that we may come across. Great post!
Aug. 25, 2005 - Hi Mary Jo,
Posted by TOSPUBLISHER
So glad you are part of the community here at HSB!
God Bless,
Gena Suarez, Publisher
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com
Sep. 12, 2005 - Answering questions
Posted by Somerschool
I don't have one specific answer to offer, but after talking to hundreds and hundreds of homeschooling single moms, I can guarantee that there are MANY good answers. Some of these ladies (my personal heroines) are keeping their children away from the guns and gangs of their inner-city school districts. Some are holding a homeschool family together after it has been devastated by a spouse's crime, addiction, or betrayal. So many single moms who call HSLDA started homeschooling because their child with special needs kept falling through the cracks in "the system."
Sep. 24, 2005 - Bravo bravo!!!
Posted by riverfolk4
I'm so excited you homeschool as a single parent! Bless you and I hope you find any support you need out there!
~~Happy Blog Moments~~
Oct. 5, 2005 - Great Post
Posted by LeadershipEducation
Mary Jo,
This is a great post. I have never thought of the flip side of asking public school families why in the world they would send their kids to strangers to be educated.
I am so glad you persist in homeschooling your boys. I know they will appreciate it and be better adults serving our Lord because of your sacrifice.
Kerry
Sep. 11, 2007 - Request to add your blog to my site.
Posted by thehsmomof2
I am a single homeschool mom of two. I own http://www.thehomeschoolmomof2.com. I am currently working on updating my site for the autumn season. Specifically, I am adding a page for single homeschool parents. I would like to add a link to your site if that is possible.
Thank you for your time.
Shannon Buck
thehsmomof2@aol.com
http://hbwm.biz/wpmu/adventuresinworkingfromhome/
The Homeschool Mom of 2 and The Down Home(School) Gazette http://www.thehomeschoolmomof2.com
The Low-Income Way of Life http://www.thelowincomewayoflife.com
Mar. 31, 2008 - Thank You!!
Posted by Melanie
Being a single mom, and homeschooling, I constantly battle thoughts in my head about what everyone else say's and thinks. All of the encouraging words on your site, makes me realize "I know I'm doing the right thing!" There is so much pressure from the outside world, when we don't live in their "box," I actually feel sad for them if they are a person lacking the ability to see a bigger picture. Yes, it is much easier to send your child on the bus everyday to school, and HOPE they are learning. Their is a serious problem in our school systems, many parents obviously are realizing that. I think when we can move beyond what others think, and know that our parental sense for what is best for our own child, regardless of what others choose to think or say, there is no reason to explain anything. Maybe it's ignorance on their own part, and maybe they wished they had the courage to deal with the scrutiney? All I know is I wouldn't have the courage to be a homeschool parent, unless I absolutely believed it was the best option for my 2 children. I think going with the "gut" instinct for what's best for your child, never underestimate that as a mother!
