Every year that I’ve been homeschooling I’ve heard someone refer to “the new breed of homeschoolers” or the “other homeschoolers” or something to that effect. The definition of this varies widely, but it has to do with homeschoolers who perhaps aren’t bona fide homeschoolers. People who are homeschooling because their kid got kicked out of school for disciplinary issues. People who are just “trying out” homeschooling for a year. People whose kids needed to go on homebound for sickness and who decided to homeschool instead. (I remember several years ago, a mom brought her two middle-school aged kids to our enrichment class program and asked the then-director, “Is this the place where you homeschool?”
But the truth is…sometimes when I hit the “random blog” button or read articles in homeschooling magazines, I start feeling like, well, the “other” homeschoolers. Don’t get me wrong: we are a homeschooling family to the core. I advocate homeschooling 100% and quite frankly am sad when friends who were contemplating homeschooling choose public/private schools instead. But I feel like the “other” kind of homeschooler when, for example, I read one of the letters in the most recent issue of TOS. The writer was chastising TOS for including an interview with BarlowGirl. I, on the other hand, remember thinking, “Cool! TOS has an interview with BarlowGirl!” In such instances, I am hit with a wave of “otherness.”
Or when I read about a day-in-the-life of a homeschooling family and think, “Geez! I am such a slacker! My kids hate narration, I don’t make my own fresh bread every day, I don’t use the King James Version (except on the occasional Sunday when I forget my Bible and have to use the pew Bible), and—to top it all off—my 4th grader doesn’t have her multiplication tables memorized.” “Otherness” has to do with anyone who does things, well, differently than “we” do: from wild, unruly unschoolers; to middle-of-the-road eclectic folks; to straight A Beka advocates; to tight-lipped tomato-stakers (important note: stereotypes listed here to make a point, not necessary a personal viewpoint!!). Pick whatever category you fall into, and the rest are “others.”
“Otherness” hits me only now and then. I am blessed with a healthy dose of self-confidence (thanks to my wonderfully affirming parents who brought me up to live with great expectation). But I worry about homeschoolers who are mired in a self-doubt that is accentuated by that feeling of being, well, atypical.
One of the things I love about TOS magazine is its column that highlights various homeschooling families. There are two purposes to these articles: first, to take a peek into the lives of homeschooling families; and second, to make it clear to readers that no two homeschooling families are alike. Unfortunately, in real life, we just don’t always get it. We look at other families and think to ourselves—hmmm. They’re a different kind of homeschooler.
Ironically, as we all know, one of the greatest beauties of homeschooling is that it is flexible education at its finest. Any educational buzzword can be actively defined within the context of a handful of homeschooling families. Multiple intelligences? Accountability? Team teaching? Educational technology? Restructuring? Teacher empowerment (gotta love that one!)? Integrated learning? No Child Left Behind? Most of us can put a checkmark by all of those (although I do know one or two who have literally left a child behind on occasion…).
Shouldn’t we be happy that people are homeschooling, period? Shouldn’t we embrace and encourage any kind of homeschoolers, regardless of their motivation, rationale, or modus operundi? Shouldn’t we take time to answer the questions of a homeschooling mom, even if she is only homeschooling for a year to get her middle-schooler “caught up”? Because after all, aren’t we all, at some time, put in the uncomfortable position of being an “other’? And for those of us homeschooling 15 years or less, aren’t we all a “new breed of homeschoolers” to those pioneers in the 1970s and 80s?
Enough deep thoughts for tonight. Maybe next week I’ll find a new homeschooler whose face I don’t know and make sure she doesn’t feel like an “other.”
Comments
Saturday, October 21, 2006 - Yep, yep, yep
Posted by hsmomof2
I feel like an "other" most of the time. I rarely find other homeschoolers who don't give me what I call the "you have two heads look" when we talk about what we do. Even in my homeschool group I am such an outsider... if you want to find a nice community of "other" homeschoolers, stop by my blog and click on "homeschool fellowship" on my sidebar. Great folks!
Saturday, October 21, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by grace4gayle
Wow! I was just having similar thoughts today. I received my Vision Forum catalog in the mail and I always get a feeling of condemnation when I read it because I don't fit their mold. I love some of their resources but I'm just not a skirt wearing, quiverfull thinking, kind of gal. So I feel quite like an "other" when I read it or hang out with people who are absorbed in it. Gosh, maybe I need to blog about it. Anyway, you had a refreshing viewpoint.
Gayle
Saturday, October 21, 2006 - Good point
Posted by Isaiah5513
And while we're on the subject, my nearly 12 year old son, who has always been homeschooled, was making fun of some of those stereotypical (for some reason that doesn
't look right) homeschoolers the other day. I was shocked, #1 I didn't realize he recognizes those stereotypes. #2 I was irritated because early in our homeschool journey I thought I needed to fit into the denim jumper mold. Praise the Lord! I stuck with homeschooling, even through discouragement at not "fitting." I'm over it now, fitting in and my son's warped sense of humor; apple doesn't fall far, KWIM?
Sunday, October 22, 2006 - spewing my porridge at the screen this morning...
Posted by eclecticityTia
"although I do know one or two who have literally left a child behind on occasion…)"
Oh my...:-). Poor Wheaton.
So who's BarlowGirl?
I frequently feel "other"...I think maybe I feel "other" rather than feel like I fit in LOL. Anyone homeschooling to feel like they fit in is going to get a reality check pretty fast. I agree with what you've shared here and tend to get frustrated when people treat homeschooling as an "experiment". Not that some don't need to get their feet wet slowly, but I think the entire concept is best when viewed as a big picture and experiments don't allow for that.
Sunday, October 22, 2006 - Oh yeah...
Posted by hsmomof2
I meant to ask that too... who is Barlowgirl?
Sunday, October 22, 2006 - Read the last issue...
Posted by SmallWorld
of TOS magazine to find about more about BarlowGirl. ;-) (They are a Christian girl-band and had been homeschooled.)
Sunday, October 22, 2006 - It is good to know that I can come out of the closet.
Posted by jenmcintyre
We don't do narrations and my daughter doesn't know her times tables either.
And I thought that I was alone on this voyage. Some days just surviving takes all of our energy. No, really, it is hard not to get swept along or feel incompetent when seeing what some homeschoolers do. At times I just have to take a deep breath and remind myself what is best for my family. I do believe the saying "better late than never."
Monday, October 23, 2006 - THanks
Posted by Doverspike1
I love your blog today. I am probably an other. But I think Jesus was an other too. You know, He was different. All the big educated religious leaders looked down on Him. He was always hanging out with sinners and all. So, I don't look down on any of em. even the "professional" homeschoolers. In fact, I glean what I can from them. Maybe they do have some amazing tips and pointers. Maybe I can learn something. Even from other others. :). I love people. Sometimes I just need a little inspiration and then I run with it. In fact, I try not to even make my NON homeschooling friends feel less than me. I encourage them, and just love on them. I'm too relaxed in my homeschooling, but my kids are fine. They are home with me, they are learning, and they are gonna be just fine. No worries. Thank you for your blog, your honesty, and your advice. I got your message about the picture thing, now I just have to figure out how to make the picture smaller.
And I absolutely love Barlowgirl. The harmonies and the music are my kind of stuff.
Sometimes they don't come right out a shout God in there songs, but we know what they're talking about. What better way to reach the lost?
Have a wonderful day....
TJ
