Posted in Our Homeschool Beginnings
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Sep. 3, 2006 - Wow...
I have visited your blog before but not read this post. It is an amazing description. My nephew has autism and the whole family has gone through such a process adjusting our views and dreams and hopes. How can people who are going to Italy help, love and share their lives with those in Holland? Do you have any suggestions? Sometimes I feel guilty that I am going to Italy and my sweet sister-in-law is not. I hope I don't upset you by saying that...I am hoping you may have some tips for me.
Have a lovely day,
Stacy
Sep. 5, 2006 - How wonderfully phrased!
My friend Kathy wrote a beautiful blog about you and your blog so I had to look. You are truly gifted with words that descibe things so well that the reader enjoys the story even if it's about a poor young man and an english muffin. (I'm glad he is okay, but I admit to giggling abit as he sounds like my 16yo daughter)
If you don't mind, I'd like to forward your blog on Holland to a friend of mine. His son was born extremely pre-mature and he would truly love your words. You are truly a blessing.
Nice to meet you.
Vicki
Sep. 24, 2006 - So nice to meet you!
Hi Sonya! You posted a comment on my blog last month, so I stopped by to say hi. When I saw the name of your blog, I thought it must be in reference to "Welcome to Holland!" A friend sent that to me when we first learned that our son had autism, and I sure put everything in a whole new light! It's something that I never get tired of reading!
Off to explore the rest of your blog...
Have a blessed day!
Denise
Oct. 27, 2006 - Sonya
Congratulations on being chosen blogger of the week! You have a wonderful blog. I have been familiar with the Welcome to Holland story. I was first introduced to it in my teacher ed classes in college and have enjoyed sharing it with others. May God bless you and your family!
Christy :)
Nov. 26, 2006 - Starbucks
What a beautiful story. What a wonderful illustration. What a terrific and healthy perspective. YOU are the kind of person I'd like to meet face to face, sit down with a cup of coffee and chat. Do they have Starbucks in Holland? God's rich blessings are yours. You are special to Him!
Dec. 7, 2006 - Untitled Comment
What an incredible perspective!! Here I thought you lived in Holland...what a great analogy.