Now, I wrote this a long time ago so now it's on my second page and people probably won't see it any more. I'm going to make a link for them, once I figure out how to do it (or find out how to bribe my sister into doing it!) So here it is, The Adventures of Zoomdog! Part One.
P.S. I'll be posting the second part above this one too.
Here it is then!:
Our dog would have to enter the competition for the dumbest dog on the planet. She’s half Dalmatian spots and all. She loves barking at shadows. She loves carrying fallen palm branches, whether miniature ones on a bike ride or huge ones that we’re trying to carry to our branch pile. She is an over-excited bundle of mis-directed brainless energy. And she is also deaf. Stone deaf. She can’t hear a thing (but she can feel vibrations). This is what today’s morning, slightly abridged and altered, would look from her view.
The Morning: A dog’s eye view
Or
The Adventures of Zoom-dog!
Oh, hello, that goofy human’s back again. It’s about time he let me out of this cage. I’ve been awake for hours. Well, at least five minutes. Same thing. I’ve got places to go, places to be. Hurry up. Good, you’ve opened it. Can I take my bone? Ummmm. No, I’ll just leave it. Funny how no one seems to make a sound around me. Very funny. I mean, it’s not as if I’m super-sensitive about noise! Okay, never mind, I’m out, I’m free and lets go!
ZOOM!
About one hour later…
Sitting next to the door here is very nice really. I mean, what better place to see my favourite humans (Even if they don’t have much intelligence, but then again, you can’t have everything; loyal and intelligent pets.)? Ah, that big mother human’s coming out to see me. How absolutely nice of her! She’s actually gone out of her way to see me! Oh, I’m touched.
Oi! Whatcha slap me for? I was only coming close to you so we could have a good talk. So what if you can’t put on your shoes when I’m this close, you’ve come out to lavish attention on me like those other girls do. Come on, girl to girl, let’s talk and sniff! Oi! You slapped me again! For some one who just went out to visit her dog you don’t have many manners. Oooo! The i-pod! And you’ve put on your shoes! I know what this means! A walk! A walk! Yippee! Oh, woman, how I love you. You have never wronged me, never! Nor ignored me. A walk! A walk! Come on, let’s go!
Another half hour later…
Hey, where’s that puny human that plays with me gone? Ahh, he’s back now. And he’s on his bike. He’s off on a bike ride. Maybe he doesn’t want me to come. Oh, never mind, he’s never bothered before. Can I take my part of a palm branch too? It’s customary for me, a sacred tradition. Or maybe he doesn’t want me to come. Oh, but I really wanna. I’ll just stay here and see. He’ll be back.
He’s signalling for me! HE WANTS ME TO GO ON A BIKE RIDE! I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO GO OUT WITH HIM!!! Ooooo, goody, goody, I can’t wait. Come on let’s go.
ZOOM!
It’s wonderful going out into the sun together, just him and me, together. Lovely. Hey, never smelt that before. Yol, wait for me human! Hmm, maybe I should just smell that too. Is that a shadow over there?!! OH, that’s right, the human! Wait for me, I’m comin’! Yahoo! Mud! I LOVE mud! Let’s walk though that! Wonderful. I’m all dirty. The perfect state of mind and body. Ahh. Let’s go home. Lalalala. Just walking gaily though the carefree world. Just walk right in front of the moving bicycle, no danger there…
A little later, back at home…
That human wants to lock me up in that cage again! It’s nowhere near night time. There’s some stranger-dogs out the back in the ute and I want to talk to them. That brainless human is just waiting for me to walk into the cage and giggling like a silly thing. “Oh hello human, how are you going? You’re not wanting me for anything are you? Wanting me to do something? Oh, of course not. You want just to stand there and look at me? Oh okay, I’ll just sit here and do nothing. You know, I have absolutely no idea what you want me to do. Not at all.” He’s pointing into the cage. He’s telling me to actually go in the cage. I am under orders! Ummm… “What on earth do you mean by that outlandish sign? You may as well go and speak Swedish, ‘cus I have no idea what you mean. No, really”. Alright, alright I’ll go. Hey he hasn’t closed the door, just taken the water bowl. Can I come out? No? Oh, what a surprise. I’ll just wait here.
A while later…
Finally you’re back! It’s about jolly time you let me out. Come on, let’s go and bark at those shadows together, just you and me, a dog and his loyal human.
ZOOM!
Comments
Jun. 22, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Dot
How cute. I just love your stories.. Keep up the great work. I will have to let my son read this tomorrow. Thanks for the sweet comments on my paintings too.
Jun. 22, 2008 - Nuts -- I'm too kind!
Posted by JessicaLetchford
Hmmm, what do I want that Josh will bribe me with?
(sigh) I'll do it for free!
Jess
Jun. 29, 2008 - Thanks for posting!
Posted by forestcrazy
Great idea you have there, as for the plot, I'll roughly explain it but not in TOO much detail, because stinkyhead people out there who would plagiarise, although I'm positive none of my friends would do that. :)
Submissions...I have four so far?
svenja
Jul. 5, 2008 - hey!
Posted by Rachsters
Can I ask you where you got your username?
Just curious,
Rach
Jul. 9, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Backyard
Hi there! I wanted to let you know that the Tuesday Bible Trivia is up as well as the Monday articles on the Backyard!
Hope to see you in the Backyard soon!
Blessings!
Jul. 12, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Backyard
Hey there! We've post a new article on the Backyard.. about the Team!
Hope to see you at the Backyard again soon!
Backyard Management
Jul. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by forestcrazy
Hi, Josh.
Thanks for putting it in better terms, I'm still pretty psyched. I'm not having the...erm, appointment until Tuesday. As for my book, yes I am planning on sending it out to other publishers and sit down for a good wait :) Thank you for asking!
Hope all is well,
Sven
Jul. 28, 2008 - Lol
Posted by Fingolfin
Kind of reminds me of my dog, he is a escape artist and a very clever one but he will still jump up and try to snatch birds that are way up in the sky lol.
Jul. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Dot
To answer your question, I can all those pickles and they will keep for years. I use them in potato salads and we also just eat them from the jar. Have a great day.