Posted in Homeschooling
Marsha's blog about development got me thinking.
It's amazing, the powers that doctors have. They can analyze your child and determine, usually, what's wrong and prescribe a form of treatment. We have gotten so used to this that we just assume that the doctor's word is golden on anything they say.
When my firstborn daughter was in for her wellness check-up, they measured, poked, and prodded our baby girl and promptly announced that she was in the 94th percentile for head size and the 10th percentile for body weight. That's what they said, but the impact was much akin to the lines from a movie from the early 90's that I remember, "your kid has a huge noggin! It's like an orange on a toothpick! It's a virtual planetoid...with it's own weather system!" I came out of the office wondering what was wrong with our child and what we were doing or not doing to cause it. Only weeks later would my wife and I discover that those percentiles were virtually worthless. They told you very little about the health of your baby.
Parents, especially new parents, tend to obsess over "normal" when it comes to their children. Doctors sometimes don't understand their power when they tell parents that they're "concerned" about their child's development because he only knows a few words or he hasn't started rocking, crawling, walking, or leaping tall buildings at the right age. Parents can feel like it's up to them to save their child from a life of mediocrity by pushing him to catch up with "normal."
One of the pastor's families at our church gave birth to a baby with Down's Syndrome. They really love that little guy and call him "Peanut." After the diagnosis, at one of his first wellness check-ups, the doctor began handing the mom sheets of paper with all the data of what she should expect for a child with Down's. He was going a little quick and just as she was beginning to feel overwhelmed, he stopped, took the papers out of her hands and said, "Here, now these things are for me. Your job is just to love your son. I will worry about these papers. You don't need to deal with them." Imagine if she had left the clinic with the papers in her hand. By taking back those papers, the doctor was freeing her to be a normal mother with her son.
Are there times to be concerned about a child's development? Sure, but not nearly as often as parents are needlessly worried over their child "falling behind." Every child is different. Even if they fall behind by years, as I did in my own development with reading retention and comprehension, it is not a judgement sentencing the child to sweeping up at McDonalds. The human brain and body are resilient and can make up the difference a lot of the time. The kid who nearly failed his gradeschool education because of his reading disability is now a professional writer. Patience, wisdom, and, most importantly, prayer will help you as you teach and guide your children. Trust God, your child's Creator, with their development, and don't panic.
It's amazing, the powers that doctors have. They can analyze your child and determine, usually, what's wrong and prescribe a form of treatment. We have gotten so used to this that we just assume that the doctor's word is golden on anything they say.
When my firstborn daughter was in for her wellness check-up, they measured, poked, and prodded our baby girl and promptly announced that she was in the 94th percentile for head size and the 10th percentile for body weight. That's what they said, but the impact was much akin to the lines from a movie from the early 90's that I remember, "your kid has a huge noggin! It's like an orange on a toothpick! It's a virtual planetoid...with it's own weather system!" I came out of the office wondering what was wrong with our child and what we were doing or not doing to cause it. Only weeks later would my wife and I discover that those percentiles were virtually worthless. They told you very little about the health of your baby.
Parents, especially new parents, tend to obsess over "normal" when it comes to their children. Doctors sometimes don't understand their power when they tell parents that they're "concerned" about their child's development because he only knows a few words or he hasn't started rocking, crawling, walking, or leaping tall buildings at the right age. Parents can feel like it's up to them to save their child from a life of mediocrity by pushing him to catch up with "normal."
One of the pastor's families at our church gave birth to a baby with Down's Syndrome. They really love that little guy and call him "Peanut." After the diagnosis, at one of his first wellness check-ups, the doctor began handing the mom sheets of paper with all the data of what she should expect for a child with Down's. He was going a little quick and just as she was beginning to feel overwhelmed, he stopped, took the papers out of her hands and said, "Here, now these things are for me. Your job is just to love your son. I will worry about these papers. You don't need to deal with them." Imagine if she had left the clinic with the papers in her hand. By taking back those papers, the doctor was freeing her to be a normal mother with her son.
Are there times to be concerned about a child's development? Sure, but not nearly as often as parents are needlessly worried over their child "falling behind." Every child is different. Even if they fall behind by years, as I did in my own development with reading retention and comprehension, it is not a judgement sentencing the child to sweeping up at McDonalds. The human brain and body are resilient and can make up the difference a lot of the time. The kid who nearly failed his gradeschool education because of his reading disability is now a professional writer. Patience, wisdom, and, most importantly, prayer will help you as you teach and guide your children. Trust God, your child's Creator, with their development, and don't panic.
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