This morning, it's a little cold, gray, and foggy outside. I'm always reminded of my oldest daughter, who is now 10, and what she used to say when she was 3. We'd be out driving and the fog would move in. She'd say, "It's froggy out!"
My 7 year-old wants to play chess this morning. I told him, "Not before coffee." There are just certain priorities you have to follow, especially on cold mornings. It doesn't help that the new meds make me so sleepy.
So...what's on my mind this morning? Grandparents, oddly enough. I'm realizing what powerful allies they can be when you're raising your kids, especially when grandparents themselves realize the importance of their role. As parents, we can forget the natural draw and attraction we had as kids for our grandparents. They were different from our parents and yet, not so different. I remember I could ask questions of my grandmother that I wouldn't really want to ask my parents.
Parents can be monolithic, meaning that they only offer one opinion on things. My aforementioned 10 year-old daughter is starting to branch out and evaluate people's opinions. What better time to start sleepovers at the grandparents? My folks don't see things the same way as I do on everything, but I trust them. Letting my daughter spend extended periods time with her grandmother gives her an exposure that will help her shape her individuality. I don't want to make her a carbon copy of us. Instead, I want her to have her own thoughts about things and be able to reason them out. It's part of training her to stand on her own. Grandparents can be very useful in this respect.
As I write this, my son is teaching my 3 year-old daughter to play chess. To hear my daughter tell it, "We played chest!" complete with pointing to her sternum. Time for me to go play.
hehehee... My boys just realized that mommy knows how to play chess. *sigh* So much for just pointing them towards daddy every time they wanted to play! They still get confused as to how each piece is allowed to move. My fav to play with the boys is Chinese Checkers. Oddly enough, I don't know how to play regular checkers. I kinda sorta do, but not really. Weird, huh?
We've had a couple of foggy mornings this week but the temp is already almost 80! And as far as grandparents go, I am SOOO thankful that we see eye-to-eye with both my parents and my in-law's!!! And David's folks retired back to Texas and live 2 hours away. It is such a blessing for the children (and us) to spend a few days or even just a few hours with them whenever we like!
Although you're right about the no carbon-copy thing, it's not that bad to be like mommy and daddy right? ;-) Although they are definitely not little robots, the thought of them actually being their own adult person kinda scares me. It's one thing to be individualistic as a child, but a grown-up with your own thoughts and ideas-- gasp! This is definitely when I will put my trust and faith in GOD and not my own parenting skills!!!
Well, making a carbon copy can be detrimental if they're 19 and believe what you believe simply because you say so. At some point, I'm going to have to trust in the relationship my children have found with God. They will be on their own, making their own decisions. Yes, I want them to believe a lot of what I believe, but only on the basis that they've examined the foundations of their belief and come to the same conclusion.
As a teenager, I took my faith and seriously examined it. I kicked the tires, so to speak, of my faith. In fact, some days in my Christian high school I would take the opposite opinion of my teachers just to test them and their assertions. I was even called into the principal's office with my parents because I had said something that absolutely infuriated my history teacher. I didn't want dogma. I wanted well-reasoned and firmly-founded belief. This probing and exploration continued well into my 20s.
My children aren't close to this stage, but I want to prepare my kids. I want to introduce them to other sources to learn that other people have other opinions. Some are trustworthy, some are not. By teaching them to evaluate their sources, they can determine how their sources are biassed and why their sources might be biassed in a particular direction. In a couple of years, I'll take my kids through The Thinking Toolbox to help them learn logic and how it can be used to reason complex situations and come to good conclusions. Logic is not the answer for faith, but it is a tool that can be used to explore reasons for believing.
Thanks for the post. It was odd to read your blog yesterday but was nice to . It helped the good memories to come to the surface. Also to think about my kids relationship with our parents. You never know when you post do you?
Also wanted to say. We have had days we ran out of milk too. Last year was terrible for us. Carl was layed off. I cried all day one day because there was nothing in our fridge or cabinet. A prayed and prayed and just couldnt see how anything could happen or change. A friend that evening came by with food from McDonalds for all the kids and us. Never has she done that before. I just hugged her and cried my eyes out. The next day was pay day and all was good . God is good. It was very had but after awhile I left it all to God. Every morning when I woke Up I would pray our lives our in your hands. I am letting it to you. The worry after awhile just went away. I tend not to stress like I used to. I know you know but just reminding you let God have it.
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